A Second Chance
by Hana Of Forever
Summary: Marconi operator on the RMS Titanic, Jack Phillips, died the night his ship struck an iceberg, yet he still felt guilty for what happened, so he is sent to be a guardian angel to a teenage girl called Rachel, he falls quite in love with her, but that sort of thing isn't allowed... Read on for romance, angels and sinking ships... More of an original story than a fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

The RMS Titanic sank in 1912, taking the lives of over one thousand and five hundred people. The story of what happened that night is timeless and will be told by many people in many different ways forever. It is a story that we all know, but this one is different, do you want to find out how? Read on.

**A Second Chance**

The fifteenth of April 1912, that's when I died. Since then a lot of people have blamed me for what happened that night. I was senior Marconi officer, which meant that I had to operate the wireless telegraph, the only way of communicating with other ships, so any news to be had from the world outside of 'Titanic' had to go through me or Harold first, Harry Bride, my second in command, he only knew me for twelve days, but he named his son after me.

"Learned to love me," he said afterwards, my apparent bravery had made him love me. I never asked anyone to love me, but some people did anyway.

People also blame me for not paying more attention to the ice warnings that we received, but I was in a truly terrible position that night, I hadn't slept in more than twenty-four hours, Bride and I had been up the whole night trying to fix the wireless which had broken down, we had to take the whole thing apart. Of course by morning there was a ton of messages that passengers wanted sent,

"I'm on the Titanic!"

That sort of thing, we didn't get paid for sending or receiving ice warnings, but we did get paid for the passenger messages, it was the only way that we could make our money.

So on 14th April, I was tired and stressed, trying to get these messages sent so that I could earn some money, when some ship nearby messages through to say something about ice. I'm busy so I tell him to shut up. At the time I thought that it was perfectly alright to say that to him, but as it turned out, I had made a very big mistake, as the man I told to shut had went to bed and switched the wireless off because I had been so rude to him, meaning that we could no longer communicate with them. His ship, the 'Californian', was closer than any other ship, they could have saved everyone, if only I could have told them that we needed help, but I told him to shut up, I killed one thousand and five hundred people by telling someone to shut up.

I remember Bride telling me that we should go and Captain Smith telling us our lives were our own now, but I stayed, willing the 'Californian' to switch the wireless on for just one minute, to save everyone. I had got through to the 'Carpathia', but she would never be fast enough to save everyone. I sat in the wireless room, feeling both the sinking of the ship and a horrible longing to change what had happened. Most people would think that dying would remove the guilt I felt, but I couldn't stop thinking as I lay in the water slowly dying, my mind still sharp despite the cold, it was my fault, the people I could hear screaming, children, women, men, all dying because of me…

My blue eyes flickered open, then I had to close them again, it was too bright. I squinted, forcing my eyes open, a lady dressed in a plain white dress stood before me, I was disorientated, I was standing too, confused as to how I had got to this place. The walls and floor blended seamlessly into each other, endless whiteness, I could not tell the size of the room, yet it felt claustrophobic, like the invisible walls were pressing in on me.

"Jack," she smiled, white teeth showing,

I nodded, unsure of what I was meant to do, I had no idea where I was or who this woman was.

"Jack Phillips," she purred, her blonde hair a halo around her milky skin, "you can't leave yet, can you, Jack? You can't just yet."

"Leave where?" my voice loud and awkward in the silent, white room.

Then it struck me, I stepped back and shook my head, wanting to tell her that she was wrong, that I was only twenty-five, I glanced down, I was still wearing my uniform, I felt so normal and full of life, I didn't feel dead. Tears pricked at my eyes. I knew it would happen, I'm not sure what I had expected, but I suppose it was nothing like what I had wanted, it was difficult to accept, I didn't want to know at all. Everyone knows that they will die, but no one wants to accept it.

"You are dead, Jack." She told me, abrupt, yet kind, smiling at me,

"I feel…" I paused, believing that I may cry, "so guilty."

"It's alright," she said, "everyone that died with you is just through that door, everyone that died on the Titanic."

She gestured to a huge white door behind her, I hadn't noticed it, a golden handle beckoned to me, attracting me to it, I wanted to reach out and turn it, just to see.

"But know that is you go through that door," she said, looking at me with a concerned expression, "you can never go back."

I wanted to know what had happened to everyone, I wanted to know if Harry had survived, he had waited for me, not wanting to leave me by myself. I wanted to know how many people had died because of me, I looked at the door and then down again, knowing that I couldn't go just yet.

"You want to redeem yourself?" the lady asked, she nearly sounded hopeful,

"Yes," I said quietly,

She smiled at me, "I thought you would say that, Jack. I will give you a task; you first must wait eighty-two years…"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you Titanicgrrll, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I was very nervous about uploading this.**

**Chapter 2**

Earth is a strange place when you're not alive, like it has been drained of colour now that you're not alive in it anymore, as if it was reminding me that I shouldn't be there anymore. I remember the day my parents found out that I'd died. A few days after the sinking, news was scarce and wrongly informed, the 'Carpathia' had just docked in New York and my parents went to the local post office in our home town of Godalming.

"Do you have any news?" my mother asked, her eyes full of tears, hoping for good news,

The young man at the desk nodded, looking remorseful, "I'm very sorry Mrs Phillips, but John didn't make it."

She held in her tears until she got home, then she cried as my father held her in his arms, a rare showing of affection in a time when people did not do such. All I could do was watch, wanting to reach out to them, to tell them that I was dead, but that did not mean that I would leave them, I loved them too much for that.

"Mother." I breathed, but it was useless, I wanted to be the perfect son, to look after the parents who had loved me, but I couldn't.

The newspapers called me a hero, Harry Bride survived the sinking and wrote a rather flattering news piece about me. He married not long after and named a son after me, Jack Bride. I watched my fiancée marry someone else, I never loved her and she had never loved me, but it was horrible watching life go on without me. Maybe she was relieved that I had died, rather than both of us being pushed into a loveless marriage. The year after I died, Godalming built a memorial to me, Harry gave a large sum of money to help build it, but after that, I was gradually forgotten, no one wanted to know about someone like me, an old fashioned hero who was no longer relevant. Harry Bride died in the 1950s, after a life of hiding himself away and trying to forget about 'Titanic'; he probably went 'up there' and wondered where I was.

Over the years my memorial was destroyed and vandalised by people who didn't know who I was. I watched them on those dark, English autumn evenings, with their cheap alcohol and their iron bars. I stood in the shadows as my name and everything I had died for was disrespected and trampled over by uncaring youths. It upset me, even though I tried not to care, they just didn't understand.

In 1994, my wait was finally over; all those years of watching life had ended, no more standing in shadows and watching the world go past me. I had seen two world wars, women get the vote, everyone I loved age and die without seeing me again and so much more, now it was time for me to take a place on this earth once again, at last.

The lady in white took me to the Mater hospital in Belfast city in the north of Ireland, one touch of her milky hand and we were there, she had appeared to me as I sat by a river in Yorkshire, watching the barges float slowly past, she told me that it was time. Belfast is where the Titanic was born, where I met Harold Bride and now where I would meet the girl who would become very important to me, more than I ever could have imagined.

In one of the upper rooms in the modern building, a heavily pregnant woman lay on a bed, her breathing rapid and her body racked with painful sobs, tears wet on her cheeks and her husband held her hand, soothing her. The sterile room was contrasted with the pain of this woman.

"This is Rebecca Given," the lady informed me, "she is the mother of the girl that you will protect."

"Protect?" I asked, unsure of what she meant and slightly shocked by it,

"Yes," smiled the lady, "you are to be a guardian angel. Everyone has one, you had one, but you often don't know they're there. You will be there when she needs you and you will help prevent harm coming to her, but remember that you can't protect her from everything, she must learn to look after herself."

"Everyone has an angel?" I pondered aloud,

"Yes," she replied, "they are invisible protectors of one person alone,"

"Can I see other peoples' angels?" I asked her,

"No," she told me, "the angel is dedicated to one person; it is a job of redemption, not of joy, goodbye Jack."

She slowly faded away, by the time I had turned away from where my fellow angel had stood, I heard a loud cry, a baby had been born.

She took in that painful first breath, her skin wet with her mother's blood. Huge brown eyes scanning the world around her. I walked over to her, wondering if she could see me, I extended one finger to touch the top of her little head, some black hair wet with blood covered her delicate skull, I thought that my being there would be a comforting experience, but it only made her cry harder. I didn't want her to be scared, so I stood by the window, staying away from her slightly, as her family rejoiced at her birth, her tiny fingers gripping onto her mother, crying occasionally, but it was a happy scene and I felt strangely happy too, now I had a purpose, someone to live for, someone to care for again. I didn't have to be a ghostly wanderer anymore, my purpose was here, this girl, Rachel, this tiny baby would be protected by me.

**A/N the next chapter will be several years in the future, read and review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks again to Titanicgrrll and to Alexandria'xx, appreciated so much 3, glad people are reading, it seemed like a bit of a niche idea, but I'm glad you're enjoying it**

My black leather gloves gripped the cold metal railing; my foggy breath billowed from my tired body as the floor slanted beneath my feet. It was dark now, all the lights had gone out, but the stars in the clear sky lit up the horrific scene, soon everything would be gone. Screams of confusion and horror echoed around me, this was never meant to happen. The water below thundered, longing for me and so many others. My feelings of tiredness and fear were mixed with overwhelming regret, I could have stopped this; it was my fault… my fault… my fault.

I woke up and stifled a scream, a hand to my mouth to stop it. It wasn't real, it hadn't happened, just a dream. I shook my head, as if to shake the nightmare from my mind. I pulled the sheets up around me and I began to relax again, this had often happened to me, most nights I would wake up from nightmares, nightmares about the Titanic.

"Stupid Rachel," I muttered to myself.

I was an idiot for letting my brother, Ciaran, convince me to watch 'A Night to Remember' with him before bed. I wasn't sure why, but I would have bad dreams about the Titanic most nights anyway, regardless of what I had watched before sleeping. I thought it was because I lived in Belfast, a Titanic-mad city where the ship was built. I was so tired; I turned over and let myself sink into sleep again.

**Jack's POV**

I felt her sudden fear again, so I rushed to her side, she held in a scream, a stroked her hair and whispered to her.

"It was just a dream," I told her, though I knew she couldn't hear me.

It was 2011, I had been with her for seventeen years, she never needed much looking after, but I still wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, I sat on the floor by her bed every night as she sleep, then her nightmares started, nightmares about the Titanic. I could feel it when she was scared, that's when she needed me, I wasn't sure if she could ever tell that I was there or not, but I knew I had to stay anyway, it was my duty. The years I had spent with her had gone past so quickly; I enjoyed the feeling of purpose, even though I was not needed.

**Rachel's POV**

Morning broke soon after, the sun breaking through the small gap that I had left between my red curtains. I decided to paint my nails, so I sat at the desk in my room and did so. While I was waiting for them to dry, I decided to read a book, the closest one to hand was one about the Titanic, the house was coming down with them and I had probably read it a hundred times before. I opened it on a random page and started to read, it was a page about the heroes of the night.

**Jack's POV**

She opened the book delicately, making sure not to get any nail varnish on it, on the page that she had opened it at was a picture of me, my arms folded, holding my gloves, her brown eyes flickered down the page as she read quickly, the nail polish drying on her nails. I knew that this was an opportunity for her to notice me, she would only be able to see me if she knew that I was there, this was my chance.

**Rachel's POV**

I had just finished reading about Molly Brown when the nail polish tipped over.

"Shit," I swore, I was confused as I had not even touched the bottle.

The page was covered in green polish; it led down in a dribbled line, ending at a picture of a man, a handsome man, a familiar man. His eyes stared past the camera, his arms carefully folded, a smile curling on his lips. I tilted my head and looked at the name. Jack Phillips, Marconi officer.

"Marconi," the word strange to me, foreign yet familiar

"Jack Phillips," the name also oddly familiar, like his face, I knew of it.

I glanced back at his picture, those glinting eyes, him, wondering if I knew him somehow.

**Jack's POV**

I used as much of my strength as I could and I knocked the nail polish over and guided it with my finger in a line down towards the picture of me, I remember the day that photograph was taken, back in 1910, I had sat there in my stiff uniform for half an hour, vaguely entertained by the photographer under the black cloth telling me to keep still, telling me not to smile.

"Marconi," she said, she sounded as if she were considering it,

"Yes," I told her though she couldn't hear,

"Jack Phillips," she said my name slowly, she recognised me; it was amazing to hear her say it.

I knew what this meant, I could introduce myself to her, she recognised me, and she was finally allowed to see me. The next words I said, she would be able to hear. I felt nervous, but excited for what would happen.

**Rachel's POV**

Did he look like someone from school? I couldn't figure it out; it was going to annoy me,

"Who was this man?" I thought.

I heard a creak from behind me, but I ignored it, I lived in an old house, these sounds occurred. I heard the creak again, again I ignored it, I was focusing on the picture. Those glinting eyes looking past the camera. He was a hero, he had saved people, sacrificed his life, the book said he was only twenty-five years old. My thoughts paused and went back to the dream that I kept having, imagining being on that ship again, looking at the water, the fear and regret that I had felt.

"It was my fault…" I said uncertainly, recalling the words from my nightmare.

"It was my fault," a soft male voice repeated from behind me.

I took a sharp intake of breath, I was deeply shocked, so I flung the chair I was sitting on back and I turned quickly around.

That is when I saw him for the first time, Jack Phillips.

**A/N: I re edited this chapter after writing the 38****th**** one, I really don't like this chapter for some reason, I can't really fix it much, it's just not very good, but keep reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: Thanks to Susan Viktorija for the review even the idea that people are reading this makes me very happy, so if you have read this far, I love you :*, enjoy, read and review!**

**Rachel's POV**

Those eyes flashed blue in his translucent body, his mouth serious. I could see the wall through him. The photographs and posters on the wall were visible through his body. I shut my eyes tight as I was so frightened, so tight that that it squeezed tears out, when my eyes reopened he was still there, albeit more concerned looking, it was all too strange, he shouldn't have been there, it was enough that there was a man I had never met before in my room, a man I could see through, a man I knew to be dead. I felt faint, a rush of dizziness shot up through me and I could no longer stand up.

**Jack's POV**

Her brown eyes flared in shock as she realised I was there, then she clenched her eyes shut and she balled her fists up, hot tears running down her cheeks as she trembled in fear. I caught her before she fell, her body stiff and shaking in my arms as she looked up at me, horrified. I didn't know how I expected her to feel, but her lips were parted and her eyes staring, her cheeks wet with tears. I had scared her that much.

**Rachel's POV**

His cold arms held me, I couldn't breathe. I didn't understand what was going on, why this was going on. He had lifted me up into his arms, my legs dangling uselessly.

"What… what?" I started, trying to question him but I couldn't form sentences.

"Don't trouble yourself to speak, you've had a shock," he informed me, his syllables crisp in his English accent. He carried me to my bed and laid me down gently, the red sheets soft under me as I trembled; I had never been so scared in my whole life. He gently stroked my hair, calming me quickly, his eyes were kind and concerned, I should have still been terrified, but his kind, cold hands felt both relaxing and familiar.

"This usually works to calm you down," he smiled kindly,

I couldn't help but return the smile, even though I was confused by what he had just said. My breathing returned to normal as he stood over me.

"Who?" I tried to speak again,

"Jack Phillips," he laughed kindly, "but you already knew that,"

His brown hair was flopping over one eye from under his blue hat; a gold 'M' beautifully decorated it, surrounded by gold leaves. He was wearing a dark suit and leather gloves. He was surrounded by a gentle blue glow and I could see through him, this thought made me feel faint again, my eyes rolling back, his eyes looked concerned again, so I tried to steady myself.

"Why…" I could barely speak for trembling.

"Oh," I could tell this was a question that he had not been expecting. He paused as he thought for a moment.

**Jack's POV**

I was unsure of how to answer that, I didn't know whether I could or should tell her that I was her guardian angel.

"You… You're a ghost aren't you?" she looked concerned,

"Yes," I smiled, "Yes Rachel, I'm a ghost."

In a flash of white light, the lady who had made me an angel appeared beside me, Rachel didn't seem to notice her.

"She can't see me, don't worry," the lady in white looked angry,

"Ah," I said, unsure of how to answer, I wondered if I had done something wrong by letting Rachel see me.

Rachel looked confused, she couldn't see the lady, and I continued to stroke Rachel's hair, leaning over her as the lady glared at me.

"Now that she's seen you, I know that you will both become very…" she paused, sounding nearly like what I would call disgusted, "close. And I tell you now that when it is her time to die, I will tell you and I will not let you save her."

I must have made a shocked expression as Rachel looked confused.

"I will see you again when she is ready to die." The lady smiled before fading away.

Rachel slowly sat up and beckoned for me to sit next to her on her bed. I sat down slowly and nervously, she smiled as if to encourage me. I tried not to sit too close to her, as I gave off a radiating coldness and I didn't want to chill her, oh and I have always been quite the gentleman, it would not be appropriate for a gentleman to be getting to close to a lady.

"Tell me about yourself," she smiled, "I'm trying not to be scared and I think the best thing to do would be to get to know you."

"Well…" I started, remembering that I hadn't spoken to a living person in nearly one hundred years, "I'm John George Phillips, but everyone calls me Jack."

"Everyone," she said, raising an eyebrow,

"My friends and…" I trailed off slowly as I remembered.

**Rachel's POV**

I was talking to a ghost; he was sitting next to me on my bed, coldness radiated from him. I wanted him to tell me all about himself, he seemed as nervous as me.

"It's been a long time since I've spoken properly to anyone," he said sounding quite shy,

"Since you died?" I asked carefully,

He looked down, "Yes, since I died,"

"Why are you here? Why are you haunting me?" I inquired.

**Jack's POV**

"Haunting… I…" I knew I couldn't explain.

Suddenly the doorbell rang; I saw Rachel smile to herself, we both knew who was at the door.

"Rachel!" Her mother called up the stairs,

"Coming Mum!" Rachel screamed back,

She looked over at me,

"Can anyone else see you, Jack?" she asked as she walked to her door, she had recovered from the surprise and shock of earlier,

"No," I told her, "Only you."

"That's good," she smiled kindly, "Then you can come downstairs too, we can talk again later,"

I walked after her, with my silent footsteps; I knew who was at the door, Rachel's boyfriend, her nasty-piece-of-work boyfriend.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! More will happen in the next chapter, I will try and make the chapters longer as well, thank you for reading and reviews are appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: Thanks again to****Susan Viktorija and Alexandria'xx, you guys are amazing**

**Jack's POV**

Rachel never really cared what anyone thought about her, not even her boyfriend; I had always liked this about her, she never felt the need to impress anyone. She answered the door in her pyjamas, not even thinking about what Chris, her boyfriend, thought. I watched from the top of the stairs as she ran down to the door and flung it wide open.

"Hiya Chris!" she called to him, waving at him though he was so close to her.

I walked down the stairs so that I could hear what they were saying better, Rachel glanced back at me and smiled, before looking back to her boyfriend.

"You're not dressed yet…" Chris trailed off after looking at Rachel, he sounded very disappointed,

"Yeah, I know," Rachel laughed, "But I painted my nails!"

Again she looked back at me, after showing Chris her fingers.

"Would things be different between her and Chris now that she knew that I existed?" I thought as I watched them.

**Rachel's POV**

Chris looked so annoyed at me, he had told me the previous week that he had wanted to go to Belfast city centre, I would have been ready, only Jack distracted me, I would look at him, then back to Chris, comparing them in my mind, which was stupid as I barely knew Jack… and he was a ghost, but I felt like I knew him forever.

"Hurry up and get ready," Chris muttered as he pushed past me and walked to the living room,

I ran up the stairs and went to the bathroom, I quickly cleaned my teeth and face, and then over to the bedroom to get dressed, Jack had followed me up the stairs and to my room.

"Umm…" I trailed off, "Jack could you leave for a minute?"

"I'm sorry, of course," he looked embarrassed, looking downwards.

He walked out of the room as I wondered if he had ever stayed in the room as I changed my clothes before, I wanted to call him back in to ask, but I remembered that I needed to hurry so that I could see Chris. I wore a green tee-shirt and blue jeans, when I left my room I saw Jack again and I smiled to him,

"My top matches my nails!" I whispered, "I can't wait to talk to you later, I would to find out everything about you!"

"I look forward to finding out everything about you as well," he smiled, but something about the way he looked made me think that he knew it all already.

Chris looked bored when I got to the living room, my brother Ciaran had been trying to talk to him. Ciaran is fourteen and knows more about history than anyone I have ever met.

"…and people think that the Titanic sank that way because of…" Ciaran informed Chris,

"That's great kid, could you maybe piss off and leave me and your sister alone for a minute," Chris snarled,

"Kid?" glared Ciaran.

I felt awkward as he left the room past me, as soon as Ciaran left, Jack entered, I wondered how long Jack had been doing this sort of thing for, then I closed the door.

"You shouldn't talk like that to Ciaran," I told Chris, attempting to be stern,

Chris smiled, "Don't be like that, you know I just want to be with you,"

"Sure forget it! Let's go into town!" I smiled, pretending that I was happy,

"Yeah," Chris laughed.

**Jack's POV**

The way he looked at her disgusted me, his dark eyes scanning her body, knowing what he wants from her, they have been seeing each other for four months, I hate him, I know what he wants to do to her and I hate him. They went into the city centre together, I followed of course, he wanted to go to trashy shops like "Fresh Garbage" while she wanted to go to the museum.

"Why do you want to go there?" he asked,

"They have a Titanic exhibition on!" She said,

"Ugh," he whined, "I got enough of that from your brother,"

Rachel folded her arms, tilting her head and raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'll go without you then!" she said, as she turned around, winked at me and headed off in the direction of the Ulster Museum. Chris sighed and followed.

**Rachel's POV**

I have always loved it here, but this time there was something I had to see. I walked up the stairs, taking in the scale of the building, so much to see here, dinosaurs, polar bears, mummies, but this time I had to see if there was anything about Jack. Chris was following me up the stairs, he was slower than me, but Jack was managing to keep up with me, the blue haze surrounding him and his dazzling smile. I was so busy admiring Jack and the building that I managed to slip in a spilt drink on the stairs, this was it, I didn't have time to think about it, I was going to fall down the steps to my death.

**Jack's POV**  
It was like time had stopped, she had never really been in danger before, so this was my chance to prove myself, I caught her easily before she fell over and set her on her feet.

"Thank you Jack," she breathed, a grateful smile on her face,

Chris came running up the stairs, looking quite breathless from the run,

"What happened?" Chris shouted,

"Nothing," Rachel smiled over at me, "I'm perfectly fine,"

**Rachel's POV**

When I saw Jack's photo at the exhibition, I couldn't help but smile, we had only met today and already he had started to mean so much to me, with his kind smile and the way he looked out for me, I was looking forward to spending the evening with him. I managed to spend several hours looking around the exhibition and since it was autumn, it was dark by the time we were leaving. I loved looking at all the Titanic related things, I could see that Jack was enjoyed it too, I kept looking over at him. Chris had been very bored and he was glad to be leaving.

"Do you need me to walk you home?" Chris asked sarcastically,

"No, I'll be okay," I told him, sick of his attitude, he was always acting like this, and he didn't seem to understand romance. He never wanted to hold my hand or hug me.

"Later," he called over as he walked away, I didn't even watch after him,

I glanced up at Jack and smiled,

"Will you walk me home?" I asked him seriously,

"Of course," he said with a smile.

**Jack's POV**

The glint in her eyes as she looked at the photograph of me made me smile, she looked like she was enjoying herself so much, I remember her coming here as a child and loving it so much, it felt amazing to get to enjoy it with her, the time flew and soon we were leaving. I was relieved after Chris left, as we no longer had to remain silent to each other, it had been too difficult trying not to speak to her, since I could after so long.

She offered me her hand, I was surprised but I took it in my own, I remained at a slight distance from her, she gasped in shock at the coldness of my hand, but she did not let go, we spoke as we walked. She spoke quietly as she knew that no one could see me, as she would look quite strange if she was seen to be talking to herself.

"Did you have a nice time today, Rachel?" I asked her carefully,

"Oh, I had a great day," she smiled, "I made a new friend,"

"Really?" I laughed, "What's his name?"

"John George Phillips, but everyone calls him Jack." She said with a smile as I held her hand and we walked up the Crumlin Road.

**A/N: Can't update for a least a week, as I'm going on holiday, no cliff-hanger this time, as I don't want my sweet readers being frustrated while I am away. Jack Phillips would be very proud of you all I'm sure, are you still enjoying it? Maybe I will get another chapter up tomorrow, but only maybe.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/N: Thanks again to Susan Viktorrija and Alexandria'xx, best reviewers ever :3. In reply to Charlie Loves Socks (awesome username btw) I'm not copying anyone, I'm just a silly girl with a Titanic obsession and too much time. A lot of thought has went into this chapter, I was in Yorkshire for 8 days and I was thinking about this for most of the time, so I hope you enjoy. I have the whole story planned out now, so keep reading **

**Jack's POV**

When we got to Rachel's house, we had to stop talking, we had spoken the whole way home, her small hand in mine, her attempting not to flinch away from my coldness.

She opened the door quietly and motioned for me to go in, I did so and she followed, she walked through to the kitchen where her mother and brother were. They looked up from what they had been doing to acknowledge her presence, her mother, Rebecca, had been reading a serious-looking newspaper and Ciaran had been drawing an extremely accurate picture of the Titanic, as he often did. Her brother smiled to her.

"Did you see the Titanic exhibition?"

"Yes," beamed Rachel, "I did, it was brilliant… though Chris didn't seem to think so…"

**Chris' POV**

Rachel had been distant today, distracted. Usually she would pester me to hold hands, even though she knows I'm not good with that sort of thing. I lay on my bed, my mind knotted in frustration. My brother, Mark, told me that I would never understand girls, and he was right. I met Rachel on the internet six months ago, I knew I wanted her from the moment I saw her Facebook profile, she seemed fun and cute, yet also clever and in many ways… beautiful.

On meeting her outside the city hall one afternoon six months ago, I was slightly underwhelmed, she was shy, not as confident as I imagined, though my opinion of her soon changed as she settled in my company. I never wanted to admit it, but I was nervous.

I remember a few weeks later being with her on the Cavehill, Belfast castle in view, the sun on our backs and a beautiful feeling of freedom. Our first kiss, my hands tousled her black hair as our lips connected for the first time, I felt her fear as well as my own, I pretended to be confident and that I knew what I was doing, but I didn't, I never did. I think I love her, though I am afraid of her rejecting me, today reminded me that maybe she doesn't feel the same way, she gets upset when I'm not interested in the same things as her, though I never complain about what she likes, I wonder what she is doing right now, maybe I should message her…

**Rachel's POV**

All evening I had wanted to speak to Jack, he stood in the corner as I ate dinner with my family, I kept glancing to him, wishing I could invite him to eat with us. Night time came quickly, soon I was in my room alone with Jack and I was glad of it. I sat cross-legged on the bed, him standing awkwardly next to me.

"I'm so tired, Jack," I told him,

"You should sleep," he replied,

"Nope," I smiled up at him and patted the bed next to me.

He sat down slowly, watching me, as if to gauge my reaction.

**Jack's POV**

I sat next to her, her smile making me feel more confident about being this close to her,

"Jack," she said shyly, playing with her hair, "I want to stay up all night and talk,"

"So do I," I replied,

"I will be so tired at school," she laughed, "but I don't care, it's not everyday a dead wireless operator turns up in your room is it?"

"And that's the way I want it to stay," I smiled back to her.

"Chris…" she started,

"What about him?" I replied,

"Should I tell him?" She asked nervously,

"Tell him what?" and that was enough of an answer for her.

**Rachel's POV**

Jack was very chatty, it was like he hadn't spoken to anyone in years! It was three o'clock in the morning and Jack was telling me about his fiancée.

"Katherine Rex," he said slowly, as if remembering, "It's horrible being in a relationship with some that you do not love," he raised an eyebrow at me.

"It must have been," I said, by now I was lying down on my pillow and Jack was still sitting upright on my bed,

"She didn't love me either… and this made her angry, her green eyes would flare, she wanted me to die, just anything so she wouldn't have to marry me." He said, his blue eyes irritated looking in the darkness, his blue glow making him still very visible,

"Why could she not love you?" I asked quietly,

"I was away most of the time and though I was clever, I did not take on a job that would make lots of money, she would never have risen in the world through marrying me," I told her,

"It must have been awful back then…" I said shortly, willing him to go on,

"Yes, the world was a very different place then," he said sadly, "but it was the only world that I knew properly."

"Why can you not move on?" I asked him,

He leaned in and stared into my eyes, that piercing blue that was so familiar, his lips curled into a smile,

"I think you should go to sleep now," he said,

"But Jack, you didn't answer my question!" I hissed,

"Do you really want the truth?" he said playfully,

**Jack's POV**

I didn't know if I could tell her, the answer sat on the tip of my tongue, that I was her angel, I was here for only her, to protect her and guide her. I had been there for her, her whole life, her life was mine as well, we had a shared existence, me as her shadow.

"Am I cursed?" she whispered, "You don't seem like much of a curse, Jack."

I laughed, "I'm not a curse,"

"Don't make me guess," she hissed,

"Remember how I caught you earlier…" I paused as she nodded, "Do you remember other times you were in danger and you came out unharmed,"

She slowly sat up, she was looking down at herself, then she stared into my eyes, we were centimetres from each other, she laid her hand slowly on my leather gloved one.

"Jack Phillips," she said slowly, "You are my guardian angel."

Her brown eyes bore into mine, I smiled at her, I took her free hand in mine and looked deep into her eyes.

"Yes," I paused, "I am."

**A/N Read and Review! Hope you all liked it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**A/N: As always read and review **

**Rachel's POV**

I woke up, not remembering when I had fallen asleep. I had dreamed of Titanic again last night, but this time I hadn't been scared. It hadn't been a terrifying experience at all, this time I was in a dark, mostly wooden room, a desk before me, with paper and large amounts of complex, old fashioned machinery. I examined my surroundings for a moment, then the door swung open and a handsome young man entered, his blonde hair tousled under his Marconi hat. He was smiling and carrying a tray with lots of pastries on it.

"Good morning!" He smiled,

He gestured to the tray he was carrying,

"I stole all these from the first class dining room!" he laughed,

I was lying thinking about my dream, barely awake, then I remembered, yesterday, had all that really happened?

**Jack's POV**

I sat at the end of her bed while she slept, she smiled in her sleep, I had let her see what life had been like on the Titanic for me, sometimes I accidently gave her visions that I didn't want her to see, like the sinking, the visions that angels give to those they are protecting are meant to be positive, but sometimes I couldn't control them. Last night I let her meet Harold Bride, my second in command and my short-lived friend.

Rachel opened her eyes, then she sat up quickly and saw me.

"Jack!" she exclaimed, looking extremely happy, "I was so worried that you were just a dream!"

**Rachel's POV**

The dim autumn morning could not dull Jack's glow, he smiled at my statement,

"Did you sleep well?" he asked,

"Yes!" I told him, "I had the strangest dream, there was this man, he dressed like you, but…"

"Harold Bride," Jack smiled, "I let you meet him."

"You give me dreams?" I asked, confused,

"Yes," he replied, "I always have and always will, whether intentionally or not,"

"Well," I paused, "at least it explains why I always have dreams about the Titanic!"

I went down for breakfast and my brother was already at the table, I sat across the table from him and he looked up from the book her was looking at and looked me in the eye.

"I heard you talking to someone last night," he said,

"What?" I exclaimed,

"Yes," he said, considering, "I heard you talking, so I started listening at the wall, I heard you say a name."

As Ciaran paused, I glanced quickly over to Jack, who didn't look concerned at all, he just stood behind my chair listening with interest.

"You were saying…"

Just as Ciaran was about to continue, my father in,

"Morning all," he said as he rubbed his eyes,

I looked back to Ciaran, who had gone back to looking at his book.

**Jack's POV**

Rachel had seemed awful worried about the possibility that her brother may find out about me, I wasn't sure why she was so concerned. Today was a school day for her and it started off as it always did, as soon as she stepped off the bus at her school, Chris was next to her, but today he looked far more worried than he usually did.

"I'm sorry about the way I acted yesterday," he whispered to Rachel, as they walked to their first class together, I just walked along behind them, listening to what was being said,

"It's okay," Rachel said, "I get it, you're not interested in Titanic,"

Chris took Rachel's hand in his own, I narrowed my eyes, suspicious of what he was trying,

"And I'm sorry that I never make enough effort to be…" he paused and shrugged, "Awk you know, romantic."

What was he doing?

"That's nice of you," smiled Rachel,

They reached the physics classroom and Rachel went and sat next to her friend Hayley. Chris sat at the other side of the room. Rachel and Hayley spoke to each other, asking what either had got up to at the weekend and the like. Then the teacher spoke.

"Everyone separate out, we will have our test on electromagnetism now!"

Rachel looked panicked and glanced to Hayley,

"Didn't you revise?" Hayley asked her, seeming confident,

"No," moaned Rachel, "I was too busy!"

"This test will be the mark that goes on your Christmas report!" The Teacher announced,

"But the Christmas holidays aren't for over a month!" hissed Rachel to Hayley,

"Well, what can you do about it?" Hayley giggled,

All the pupils separated their desks out, Rachel sat down with a sigh. I spoke to her as the teacher handed the tests out,

"You have forgotten about me, Rachel,"

Rachel looked up at me, knowing that she couldn't speak to me where everyone could hear,

"I studied electromagnetism while I was studying to be a telegraphist." I informed her,

She subtly nodded as the teacher set down the test on her desk,

"So I'm sure I could be of some help,"

The paper involved familiar coils and equations, so I was able to whisper all the answers to her, at the end of the paper she took her pencil and wrote,

"Thank you Jack,"

She drew a heart around it, as the teacher came around to collect the papers, she rubbed it out, she glanced around to me and smiled. As she was leaving class, Chris came up to her again,

"I must have failed that test!" he forced a laugh,

"Hmm," Rachel considered, "I think I might have done well in it,"

"Are you looking forward to the school formal?" he asked her with a smile,

She looked down,

"Not really," was her reply.

**Rachel's POV**

Most people like all the dressing up and the dancing and the drinking, but it's really not my thing, but unlike me, Chris was rather excited about it.

"Come on!" he exclaimed, "It'll be fun and you'll be more beautiful than ever!"

There was a silence, he had never said that I was beautiful before.

"Why is he acting like this today?" Jack asked me,

I looked up at him, knowing that I couldn't reply. But why was Chris attempting to be sweet today?

"Aw, thank you, Chris," I smiled, not letting him know that I was confused by the way that he was acting.

The rest of the school day was pretty uneventful, until I was getting the bus home. I sat by the window, the seat in the aisle was empty, so Jack sat next to me, he leaned back in the seat and smiled at me, he straightened his hat. Then Chris walked onto the bus, he walked down the aisle and stopped next to where I was,

"Is this seat empty?" he smiled pointing to where Jack was sitting,

"Um…" I started, but Chris had already sat down, he went straight through Jack and Jack smiled and stood up, moving through Chris' body. Jack straightened his hat again, his jaunty smile showing his straight teeth.

"Nothing's wrong," Jack smiled, when he saw my stunned expression, "he can't feel me, no one can, unless they know who I am and you let them."

"What are you looking so shocked about?" Chris asked in a concerned tone,

"Oh," I giggled, "Nothing!"

"Right…" Chris said uneasily.

**Jack's POV**

Rachel seemed extremely relieved to get home, she went straight up to her room and sat on her bed, we were the only people in the house, as her parents were at work and her brother was not yet back from school.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is not speaking to you?" Rachel laughed, she seemed stressed despite her laughter.

"Oh I know," I said as I sat down next to her, "but before you could see me, I was having one-sided conversations with you for years."

"This is all so strange," she said, as she looked up into my eyes,

"Indeed it is, I wonder how many angels make contact with the people they look after?" I puzzled,

"You mean you don't see other angels?" she asked,

I shook my head, "Not unless I know who they are and I am allowed."

"So strange," Rachel repeated,

I heard the door downstairs click open and someone start up the stairs, but Rachel was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't hear.

"I mean," Rachel laughed, "If someone told me Jack Phillips was…"

Her bedroom door opened and Ciaran was standing there,

"That's who I heard you talking to last night Rachel, Jack Phillips!"

Rachel looked shocked, "Wait a minute…"

"Maybe you should let him see me," I said as I rose to my feet,

Rachel looked up at me in panic,

"It's okay," smiled Ciaran,

"Fine Jack, let him see you!" Rachel moaned,

I smiled to myself, he knew I was there, meaning that he would be able to see me.

**Rachel's POV**

Ciaran looked shocked then happy, so I knew he could also see Jack.

"Rachel!" he cried out, "This is so cool!"

"I know, isn't it?" I said nervously.

Ciaran walked over to Jack and shook his hand, Jack smiled warmly at my brother, who appeared to be dying of excitement. I felt extremely nervous and tense, my heart and mind were racing, I was unsure of what to do, this was all becoming too much and how was Ciaran taking it so well? When I first met Jack I nearly fainted! Am I just weak?

"It is an honour to meet you Mr Phillips," Ciaran said calmly, not seeming at all like he was looking into the eyes of a man who had been dead for nearly one hundred years.

"Thank you, but please call me Jack," he looked over at me, "Everyone does."

Ciaran smiled over at me excitedly again,

"Aw Rachel it is brilliant the way you have a guardian angel from the Titanic too!" he laughed,

"Aw yes," I said, then I realized what he had said, so I looked up at him, "Wait… what?"

Ciaran looked satisfied with himself "Rachel… Jack… meet Thomas Andrews!"

**A/N Ohhh exciting! I hope, review and all that I will update soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**A/N: Thanks to the guest for the review For anyone who doesn't know what a School Formal is, it is like a prom in America, here in NI it's called a 'formal'.**

**Rachel's POV**

I stood up and Jack flashed me a quick smile,

"Say his name," smiled Ciaran, "to show that you know he's there!"

"Thomas Andrews," I said slowly,

A blue glow formed next to my brother, before steadily taking the form of a man, his arms folded, he was dressed formally, his lips curled into a polite smile. He appeared to be around thirty.

"Thomas Andrews," I repeated,

"It is good to finally meet you Rachel," he said with a nod,

"Is he there?" Jack asked me,

"Yes… you mean you can't see him?" I inquired of Jack,

Jack shook his head, looking disappointed.

"Jack and Mr Andrews can't see each other," I told Ciaran,

Ciaran looked puzzled, "All this stuff is very confusing," he pondered for a minute, "make them say each others' names, the same way we had to, for us to see them."

"Jack Phillips," said Thomas Andrews, while at the same time, Jack said "Thomas Andrews,"

There was a moment of silence as the two of them finally saw each other, Jack stepped forward and shook his hand,

"Great to see you again, sir," Jack said, sounding extremely respectful,

"And the same to you, Mr Phillips," Mr Andrews replied, his accent similar to that of Ciaran and myself, only much softer.

"You… have met before," I said, only realizing afterwards how stupid what I had said was,

Jack smiled, "Oh Mr Andrews was always wanting messages sent, he was awful good at his job, but always noticing flaws."

"And you, Mr Phillips, were the best wireless operator in the world," replied Thomas, "I could not have imagined anyone better to work on my beautiful ship."

There was a pause, as if the two men had then just remembered that it was in fact Mr Andrews' beautiful ship that had caused the death of both of them. I had to break the silence, as both Jack and Thomas had started to look quite upset.

"Why did you never tell me?" I demanded of Ciaran,

"Would you have believed me?" he laughed, "'Oh Rachel, Thomas Andrews is my guardian angel and he helps me to draw pictures of the Titanic?' Would you have believed it for one second?"

"Well, no, well not until yesterday." I replied, "How long have you known?"

Ciaran glanced up at his angel, "I have known for five years," He looked back at me, "He saved me from drowning at the beach in Donegal, I knew then that I couldn't have survived that without someone's help, that night I watched 'A Night to Remember' with you and Thomas Andrews seemed so familiar to me, I muttered his name to myself, then I could see him." His mouth curled into a smile as he remembered this happy moment, "Then I heard you talking to Mr Phillips, I mean Jack, last night and I knew that he had to be your angel!"

**Jack's POV**

Rachel seemed quite stunned by the whole thing, and I must admit that I was too. It was strange to see Mr Andrews again after all this time, he used to come to the wireless room with a whole manner of messages that he needed sent. To me the ship had seemed flawless, but Mr Andrews was always seeing something wrong with it, he called me "Sparks", as did most of the authorities on the ship, only when he said it, it seemed much more affectionate. He seemed a truly kind man.

"Right," said Ciaran, "Thomas and I are off to draw pictures together,"

Mr Andrews smiled and nodded as he followed Ciaran out of the room, Rachel sat on the bed again and I sat next to her.

"It explains why he wants to be a naval architect anyway," Rachel said,

"Indeed it does," I smiled,

"Jack," she said suddenly, gripping my hand and staring into my eyes, "I really don't want to go to the school formal on Friday!"

I smiled to myself, "I remember dances back when I was… alive, we would all dress quite finely and a five piece band would play all the popular music of the time," I paused, "I assume this 'School Formal' will be very similar."

"No Jack," she exclaimed leaning towards me, "everyone does dress up, yes, but it is horrible!"

I nodded for her to continue,

"I will be expected to drink… and jump up and down and… and…" she gripped her face in horror,

"I will be there for you," I comforted her; "It really couldn't be as bad as you think!"

**Rachel's POV**

Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon and I was struggling to get into my red dress, it reached the floor, I had got my hair done, it was usually a mess, but today it was straightened and twisted up on top of my head. My make-up had been done professionally, when I was dressed I admired myself awkwardly in the mirror in my room, in the mirror I could see Jack leaning against the doorframe, I beckoned him over.

"What do you think?" I asked cautiously,

"You look extremely respectable," he told me, smiling in a jokey manner,

"Is that all?" I asked, more daringly,

He smiled as he took my hand, his coldness radiating through his gloves, he bent himself down on one knee before me and raised my hand to his lips. He kissed it, shockwaves of coldness burnt into my hand as his lips touched my skin, but it was a beautiful sensation. He looked up into my eyes and took his lips away from my hand,

"My lady Rachel," he said, "you are beautiful."

My heart leapt, I could not speak, I felt myself smiling, I tried to get words out, he continued to look up at me and I felt weak at the knees.

"Rachel! Are you ready yet?" Chris barged into the room,

Jack turned and looked at him; Jack's eyes narrowed as he rose to his feet and released my hand from his chilling hold.

"Well, you look pleased about something," Chris announced, as he saw my dazed smile and my flushed cheeks,

"Ah yes," I laughed, "I'm just nervous about tonight."

"Nervous?" Chris asked as he took both of my hands in his, he was wearing a dark suit and a white shirt, which was so very different to the way in which he would usually dress, "Why would you be nervous?" he asked with a smile as he leaned in towards me. I glanced to Jack, who was watching us,

"You should kiss him, Rachel," Jack murmured, "or else he will be wondering if anything is wrong."

I looked back to Chris, he eyes were closed and his lips pouted. I kissed him gently on the lips, all too aware of Jack's unnerving gaze. I pulled away from Chris.

"Do you really think that was enough?" Chris laughed, as he took me in his arms, I put my arms around his neck,

"Of course not, sweetness." I murmured.

I heard Jack let out a snort of laughter; I wanted to tell him to shut up, even though I couldn't.

**Chris' POV**

I loved it when she was this close, I could feel her beating heart, her brown eyes gentle with affection, her cheeks softly blushing due to my touch, she tilted her head and closed her eyes, so I kissed her, her mouth opening slightly due to the feel of my lips, I could feel myself sigh with happiness as I touched her tongue with mine. This should be disgusting of course, but it wasn't. I felt a sudden weakness in my knees and I could barely breathe. Rachel pulled out of the kiss suddenly and giggled.

"What?" I asked her, her lipstick smudged around her mouth,

"You're wearing my lipstick more than I am!" she laughed, putting her head against my shoulder.

**Jack's POV**

I knew she was trying to think that I wasn't there and I wondered if I should perhaps leave. I tried to hold in my laughter at their awkward encounter, but on watching Chris hold Rachel in his arms and see her bend to his touch, their happy sighs and warmth of the two bodies touching, so young and alive. I had feelings growing inside of me, as I stood and watched the young lovers, so finely dressed and seemingly happy, I knew so deep inside of me that I was jealous. I wanted her in my arms, despite my coldness and lack of life, I wanted her to swoon at my touch and kiss. Her happiness should be caused by me. I felt my eyes narrow and my hands ball into fists, I was sickened and bitterly jealous.

**Rachel's POV**

We had to get a bus to the hotel where the formal was being held, it was a fine building called the Lansdowne Hotel, just outside of the city. Chris and I walked in hand-in-hand, and Jack followed. My friend Hayley was there, with her boyfriend Mark, who is Chris' older brother. Hayley was wearing a black dress and Mark was clinging to her arm. We all had to get photographs taken; Jack looked extremely annoyed by it all.

"This is so fun!" Hayley exclaimed as we all sat down to eat dinner,

I was quite bored by it all and the food was disgusting, Chris ended up eating most of it for me.

"Right everybody!" A DJ howled after the dinner was finished, "It's time to get this party started!"

Everyone screamed in excitement, except me. Jack came and stood beside me.

"You're not enjoying this, are you?" he asked,

I shook my head; it was worse than I had imagined,

"It is quite different from the dances I remember," he laughed, as the floor shook with the sounds of Tinie Tempah's 'Pass Out'.

I smiled,

"Do you want me to show you?" he asked,

I looked up at him; everyone was getting up to dance,

"You coming, Rachel?" Chris asked,

"Could you wait a minute? I just want to sit for a minute after eating!" I replied, finding it difficult to hear over the loud music, Chris nodded and walked off.

"Yes Jack," I said, "Show me."

**A/N: More tomorrow Reviews please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**A/N: Thanks to SlytherinPrincess003, I will try to keep it up , hope you all enjoy XD**

**Rachel's POV**

The room became bright very suddenly, everything in the background faded away to nothing and it fell silent, before me stood Jack Phillips, no longer surrounded by his blue glow, and he looked so much more alive and solid. He held out his hand to me and smiled.

"Would you be as kind as to give me this dance?" he asked,

"Yes," I said as I took his gloved hand and stood up.

He was no longer cold feeling to me, the background started to fade in, the walls were panelled wood, there were plaster pillars supporting the ornate ceiling, a flight of stairs folded out to the right, a golden banister along its middle with a golden statue at the bottom, at the top of the stairs was a white-faced, gold-centred clock surrounded by an ornate carving. Jack saw me looking at it.

"Honour and glory," he murmured as he led me into the centre of the room,

"This room…" I started, as I stared around in awe,

"Yes," he smiled, "the grand staircase, I thought you would like it."

Slowly people began to fade into the room, couples holding hands, much like Jack and I. They were all finely dressed and the ladies were glittering with their beautiful jewellery. A band slowly appeared in the corner, led by a young violinist, who held a bow by his side and his instrument to his chin in preparation for the music that they would soon play. A grand piano with a pianist and number of other musicians with their instruments awaited the instruction to play.

"Jack," I whispered as we stood together, the people milling around us,

"What is it, Rachel?" he asked,

"Are they ghosts?" I whispered, as I looked at all the people who had just joined us.

"No!" Jack laughed, "they are all visions created by me, they may be based on real people," he said as he gestured towards the band, "but they aren't real, just illusions."

I giggled nervously, "That's alright I guess, I wouldn't want them to see me."

"And why not?" asked Jack looking concerned,

"Because I don't know how to dance,"

Jack laughed at my pettiness, "That doesn't matter! I'll show you,"

Jack nodded towards the bandmaster, who raised his bow to his violin.

"This was always one of my favourites," smiled Jack as he put his arm around my waist and he guided my hand to do the same to him. He held my other arm out straight, like people always seem to do in movies.

"This probably wasn't the best song to teach you to dance to," he laughed, "but let's have a bit of fun."

A backing of piano started as Jack pulled me in close to him; the piano melody was overlaid with the sound of violin. Jack led me on a close dance of small steps and slow turns, then what I assumed was the chorus started, the song was lively and fun, it suited Jack very well,

"Come on and hear, come on and hear," Jack murmured to me, his gentle English accent making me smile.

"Alexander's Ragtime Band, come on and hear, come on and hear, it's the best band in the land!" He continued,

"I'll bet it is!" I giggled, as he danced with me across the polished tile floor, the other dancers also smiling and turning. My high-heeled shoes clacking on the tiles.

The dance slowed after the chorus and I looked up at Jack, this must have been what he was like when he was alive, his blue eyes glittered with the hopes that come from being young, his glossy dark hair escaping from under his hat and his lips gently smiling. He also looked down at me, his skin warm and happiness radiating from him. The gold on his hat and his jacket sleeves was vibrant and contrasted the dark of the suit, he looked amazing.

"I could stay here forever," I told him quietly, still wary of the other people in the room and embarrassed by my confession to him.

The dance started to speed up again and Jack was gently singing again,

"Let me take you by the hand, up to the man, up to the man, who's the leader of the band." His voice seemed far clearer now than it ever had. It was a relief not to be seeing through him and I was finding it hard to believe that this wasn't real and that Jack Phillips was dead.

"Come on and hear, come on and hear, Alexander's Ragtime Band!"

There was a strong final note of the piano.

I opened my eyes and I was back at the Landsdowne hotel, 'Give Me Everything Tonight' pounding the room as my classmates jumped up and down on the dance floor. Jack was beside me, back to his usual, see-through, blue-glowing form.

"Did you like that?" he asked with a jaunty smile.

"How could I say anything but yes?" I whispered, he was close enough to hear me over the loud music, "That was amazing!"

Chris came up to me, he looked awkward,

"The next song is the slow dance," he said, struggling to be heard over the room-shaking music,

I nodded,

"Will you dance with me?" he smiled, offering his hand,

His offering of a dance instantly reminded me of Jack and in my mind I knew I was comparing them, Chris was smiling sweetly as I took his hand, Jack watched after us as Chris led me away.

"I'll stay up here." Jack called, as Chris led me down the steps to the dance floor.

"Now!" The DJ howled, extending all his vowels, "Is the time for the slow dance! All couples down here now!"

Again the crowd screamed, I saw Mark take my friend, Hayley, in his arms. Chris put his arms around my waist and I put my arms around his neck, I rested my head against his chest, aware that I was getting my make-up on his white shirt. The song being played was some power ballad; I wasn't paying much attention as I gently swayed.

"Come on and hear, come on and hear," I whispered quietly to myself,

Chris rested his head against mine,

"This is so perfect," he said gently,

"No, it isn't," I thought to myself, because I already knew what perfect was.

**Jack's POV**

After the slow dance, everyone did this dance that is called 'Rock the Boat', I found it rather distasteful, as I know from experience that on the 15th April 1912, no one would have been trying that, as it may have cost them their lives! By the end of the night, many of the students had had too much alcohol and could barely stand. By two o'clock in the morning, they were on the bus home.

"Did you have a nice time?" Chris asked Rachel,

"Yes, of course," she smiled back,

"You didn't dance much," Chris frowned, "What was your favourite song?"

"I did dance!" Rachel insisted, "Sure I danced to Alexand-" she paused, "Oh the slow dance was my favourite,"

"Of course," Chris smiled, too tired to concern himself, "it was very romantic."

"It was," Rachel smiled, she glanced to me and I smiled back.

Rachel had brought her own key and was able to let her and myself into her house after getting off the bus, she sneaked quietly to the bathroom to clean her make-up off and brush her teeth, I waited outside her bedroom door until she invited me in with a low whisper of my name. When I went in, she was sitting in her bed, a smile on her face and her sheets pulled up around her.

"I had a lovely time tonight," she whispered, "thanks to you."

I nodded and sat on the end of her bed,

"No, Jack," she whispered, as she shifted over in her bed, "Come and lie beside me," she raised an eyebrow, "I wouldn't want you getting cold."

I slowly lay down next to her, making sure not to touch her, for I doubted she would find much comfort in the burning coldness that I knew my skin gave off. She was closest to the wall with me on the outside. In the dark I could see her happiness, her eyes glittering from the excitement that she had experienced earlier in the evening, due to me.

"I am so glad you had a good time," I told her, as she covered my body with her duvet.

She nodded, my glow the only light in the dark room. I was relieved that it had been me that had made her have a good time and not Christopher, even though he would believe that he had cause her happiness, deep down it only mattered that her and I knew.

"I hear him before I go to sleep and focus on the day that's been," she started to sing to me,

"I realize he's there when I turn the light off and turn over," she gripped my hand and raised it to her lips,

"Nobody knows about my man. They think he's lost on some horizon. And suddenly I find myself listening to a man I've never known before, telling me about the sea, oh his loves to eternity," her voice gentle,

"Oh he's here again, the man with the child in his eyes."

**A/N I don't own the lyrics to Alexander's Ragtime Band or The Man With The Child In His Eyes, they belong to Irving Berlin and Kate Bush respectively. Review my sweet readers! I will try to update tomorrow , until then, make yourselves a cup of tea and watch 'A Night to Remember' or don't, it's up to you really.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was seeing Bruce Springsteen in Dublin, so anyway, here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 10**

**Rachel's POV**

The next month went quickly and it was soon the last day of term before the Christmas holidays, I had to pull myself out of bed, as I had stayed up extremely late talking to Jack, as I had done every night since we had first spoken. Every night he would lie next to me, his coldness giving me shivers, yet I wanted to be close to him, wanting to see that glint in his eyes and his friendly smile. We would discuss whatever had happened that day and he would often tell me more about himself and his life. Then when I slept he would give me beautiful dreams, of his life, of my life and of a whole manner of fantastic events. That morning when I woke up, Jack was leaning on one of his elbows, facing me, awake, as always.

"Good morning," he smiled, glowing in the darkness of the winter morning,

He had given me a dream of when he was studying at the school of telegraphy, when he was just sixteen; I saw it all through his eyes.

"Well done," his teacher would inform him, "Top of the class, as always."

I would feel myself as Jack smile, "Thank you, sir," then slip the earphones back over my ears and listen to the "Dit, dah," of the Morse code.

Morse code was a great idea, it seemed logical to convert letters to dots and dashes, gradually in my sleep I was learning the ability to use Morse.

"Good morning," I would reply to my sweet Jack.

It was difficult to get up and prepare for school; Ciaran was in the kitchen with Thomas Andrews when I went downstairs. I saw Mr Andrews catch a box of 'Wheetos' before Ciaran knocked them over,

"Thank you, Tommy." Ciaran smiled, before turning around and noticing me with Jack,

"Good morning, Ciaran," Jack announced,

Ciaran replied with a smile, we had all got to know each other a lot better over the last month, Ciaran had always been a bit of a mystery to me, he was always quiet when he was younger, now that made sense to me. Thomas and Jack got on extremely well, as they had both been without contact with anyone of their time period for a long time. I was happy for Jack to have found another friend; I was worried that I would not be good enough company, for I assumed he was used to having lots of friends and people to talk to.

**Jack's POV**

Rachel had warmed to me very quickly, we now shared a bed, but there was no real intimacy, as I was far too cold to touch her, though I would often stroke her hair as she slept and I would watch her lips slowly curl into a smile at my touch, this made me smile as well, her happiness was all that mattered. Her first class today was Physics, she sat next to Hayley, I watched with an element of scorn as Chris flashed Rachel smiles across the room, before the class started I listened to Rachel and Hayley's conversation,

"You haven't hung out with me much recently, Rachel," her friend said sadly,

"Well, some things have changed for me," Rachel replied slowly,

"Like what?" Hayley asked, staring into Rachel's eyes, and then her eyes narrowed, "You've met another guy haven't you?"

"No!" Rachel flailed,

"You have!" Hayley insisted, "I know it!"

"Well, maybe…" Rachel trailed off,

"Is he better than Chris?" Hayley asked,

"Yes." Rachel said definitely,

I felt a blush rise to my icy cheeks; I had never felt this way before, did I count as another man?

"Tell me about him." Hayley said,

"He's twenty-five," as Rachel say this; I knew I was going to smile,

"Not too old," smiled Hayley,

"He's really clever, interesting…" she paused, "Good looking…"

I smiled, this was exactly what I had wanted from her, I could tell she was trying not to look at me, out of her embarrassment, and I could see the blush rising to her cheeks, like mine.

"What's the catch with him then?" Hayley asked,

"He's been dead for one-hundred years." Rachel said bluntly,

While Hayley was looking shocked, the teacher walked in, so Hayley couldn't say anything more.

**Rachel's POV**

The teacher walked in, I could tell that Hayley wanted to ask more, but because of the teacher, she couldn't, I smiled to myself, knowing that Jack would be able to see it.

"Now," the teacher said, "The results of the test you all did last month."

The test Jack had helped me in, I had forgotten about it!

"This will be interesting," Jack laughed from behind me, gripping the back of my chair with his hands.

"The class average was twenty-five percent!" The teacher announced crossly,

I gulped; I looked over at Hayley nervously. The teacher was now walking around, setting the tests on everyone's desks.

"Ten percent!" Hayley squealed in horror as she saw her test.

I waited nervously for the teacher to give me mine, he set the test on my desk and I held it up so I could see.

"One-hundred percent?" I screamed in surprise, everyone looked at me.

I heard Jack laugh, "You doubted me!" He said as he played with the ends of my hair.

"Well done to Rachel Given," the teacher said, once he had returned to the front of the room, "on getting full marks."

I blushed deeply due to the attention that I was getting; some people looked extremely annoyed at me. Chris looked confused as to how that happened; he caught my arm when I was leaving the class an hour later.

"Rachel." He said, as I turned to face him,

"Yes?" I asked,

"You have barely spoken to me all month, this may be the last time I see you before we get back to school in January because of the way that you're acting!" he flared, looking angry,

"I'm sorry, Chris," I stumbled over my words, "I-I've been busy!"

He leaned in close to me, "Don't lie to me, Rachel. I thought you loved me."

I squirmed away from his hold, Jack stood next to me looking concerned,

"I think everyone is catching on." Jack said slowly, he folded his arms.

"Sure, come over to my house after school and we can chat!" I laughed, trying to seem light-hearted.

Chris nodded.

**Jack's POV**

Chris took the bus home with Rachel, they made small talk the whole way to her house, Chris slipped his hand into her hand and she pretended to be comfortable about it. The house was empty when they got in and we all went up to Rachel's room, myself following silently. Chris climbed onto Rachel's bed and sat down, his tie loose at his neck and his shirttails hanging out. But Rachel didn't sit down.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" she smiled; she looked at me and nodded for me to follow.

We went into the bathroom together, she sat on the edge of the bath and I leaned against the sink,

"What am I going to do?" she hissed,

"Will you tell him the truth?" I asked, raising an eyebrow,

"I don't know!" she moaned, "I have to tell him something!"

She flushed the toilet, to complete the illusion that she had been using the bathroom and went back to her room; Chris looked up from a book he was reading, a small black book.

"Well," Chris smiled, "This is a rather interesting book," he waved it at Rachel. It was of course, her diary.

**Rachel's POV**

Chris started to laugh, he sounded insane. I couldn't believe he had read my diary, the last month was all full of what Jack and I had got up to, I would write in it most nights before talking to Jack.

"Angel?" Chris screamed at me,

I gulped,

"Jack Phillips!" Chris howled, "is he here? Is he?"

"Chris… I…." I tried to say something, but words refused to come, I was too shocked.

Then I saw the look on his face, his mouth dropped open, his eyes swelled in their sockets and a bead of sweat rolled down his face. Jack let out a laugh,

"Jack Phillips," Chris stumbled, staring at Jack, "he must be evil!"

Jack let out a snort,

"Why would I be evil?" Jack laughed, straightening his tie; Jack seemed to find this really funny, whilst I must have been nearly as scared as Chris, who was seeing what seemed like a ghost for the first time.

Jack stepped out to offer his hand, as he had done to two people before since I first spoke to him, Chris pulled back from it,

"Get away from me you fiend!" Chris hissed,

Jack stepped back from him, putting his hand by his side again.

"Oh Rachel," Jack laughed jauntily, "This boyfriend of yours is a fool."

**A/N: I'm going to watch 'A Night to Remember" now, I finished the book last night and it was amazing , reviews please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you to Okaly, Guest and Classicmovielover, glad you are enjoying it Keep reading and I'll keep writing I might draw some cover art for this at some point.**

**Chapter 11**

**Rachel's POV**

Chris dropped my diary onto the bed, he was shaking with fear, I moved over towards him and tried to put my arms around him, to calm him.

"Get away you whore," he said as he pushed me back, I was shocked by his reaction and stepped back.

I saw a flicker of anger across Jack's face,

Jack moved quicker than lightning and caught Chris at the jaw and stared him in the eye, Chris' hands moved up to Jack's hand, to attempt to get him to let go, but he was not strong enough.

"Don't you dare speak to her like that," Jack snarled, his handsome features distorted by anger.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Chris stuttered,

"Good," Jack smiled, letting go of him,

Chris sank back, putting his hands over his eyes, trying to pretend Jack didn't exist.

"I know this is a shock for you, Chris," I started; he took his hands from his eyes and looked at me, "This is Jack Phillips, he died on the Titanic, he's my guardian angel."

I could see Chris' eyes scanning Jack, attempting to understand,

"He's a hero," I continued, "he saved so many people's lives…"

Chris started to laugh, rocking back and forth, I stopped speaking,

"No one," Chris leered, "no one cares about Jack Phillips!"

I was confused by his words, his voice cruel, yet his eyes were full of tears.

"I though you loved me!" Chris said, continuing to laugh,

I had thought I loved him, I remember when he moved schools, just so he could spend more time with me, I had loved him, but now his blue eyes were cruel, the face I had loved twisted with anger and laughter and I couldn't bear it.

"Get out of my house," I said quietly,

Chris stood up and swaggered over to me, he tried to touch my face,

"Aw, but Rachel," he laughed, "I couldn't leave you alone with him."

Chris looked over at Jack, Jack raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, Chris looked slightly faint, he then swaggered over to the door and I heard him run down the stairs and out the front door. I looked over at Jack.

"Don't worry about him," Jack said calmly, "he won't tell anyone."

"I feel bad for him," I said quietly,

Jack stood behind me and put his hands around my waist, tingling coldness radiated up through my body,

"Don't Rachel," he breathed quietly into my ear,

I looked up towards him and I put my hands on his, those blue eyes looking deeply into mine, that dashing smile forming on his lips.

**Jack's POV**

Her black hair gently brushed against my chin as she turned to look up at me, her brown eyes leading into forever, a hint of blush rising to her cheeks.

"Jack…" she whispered,

Then the doorbell rang, I laughed and kissed her forehead, she giggled,

"I better get the door," she slowly moved out of my arms, she gazed up at me, reluctant to leave me.

She ran down the stairs, I waited at the top of the flight for her, at the door were Ciaran and Mr Andrews.

Ciaran was laughing, "What was Chris running away for?"

"He looked quite terrified," Thomas said,

I walked down the stairs to meet them; Rachel looked up at me and smiled,

"Chris met Jack." She said bluntly,

"Ahh," smiled Thomas, "that explains the shocked expression he was wearing."

We all walked through to the kitchen,

"So he doesn't like Jack?" Ciaran questioned as he sat at the table with Thomas behind him,

"No," I said, as Rachel sat down,

Thomas sat next to Ciaran, Rachel pulled out the seat next to her,

"Sit down, Jack." She said, beckoning to the seat.

I did so, Rachel looked uneasy,

"I should never have written about you in my diary," she muttered to me,

"He shouldn't have read it," was my reply,

She nodded in response,

"Ahh, well," said Ciaran, "I never liked Chris anyway,"

Rachel shot him a dirty look,

"To be honest," Mr Andrews pointed out, "I didn't either,"

Rachel looked over at me and I gave her a shrug and a smile. She shook her head in annoyance. Then the phone rang.

**Rachel's POV**

I swiftly got up to answer it,

"Hello?" I said into the receiver,

"Rachel…" It was Chris,

"Chris…" I said uneasily,

"I can't take it, you and him, I saw the way he looked at you, and the way you looked at him, you could never give me that." He said,

"But Jack is…." I said, looking over at my angel, who was sitting at the kitchen table, his hands on the table, and a kind smile on his face.

"I don't want to hear it, Rachel; I'm not ready to put up with something like this." Chris said sternly, I could hear the emotion in his voice,

"I understand," was all that I could say, I was about to hang up when I whispered, "I never believed you loved me."

He hung up, the line rung dead and I set the receiver down,

"He broke up with me," I told the people in the room.

**Jack's POV**

What should I have felt? Should I have felt guilty? As that is certainly not the way I felt, I stood up and took Rachel in my arms, she pressed her head against my chest, I looked over her head at Ciaran and Thomas, who smiled at me. Everything was becoming as it should be. I took her hands in mine and looked her in the eye,

"Do you want to go upstairs and talk about it?" I asked kindly,

She nodded silently, Ciaran and Mr Andrews watched as we left the room together, She closed the kitchen door, tears were appearing in her eyes, I hadn't known that she cared that much about Chris, she choked back a sob and put one hand on the wall of the hallway, I put my arms around her waist,

"Jack, I feel so…" She started, she looked so weak,

"Don't say anything, I already know," I said.

I picked her up; she put her arms around my neck as I carried her up the stairs, she was pressing her head into my neck, hot tears spilling onto my icy skin. I pushed the door of her room open and I sat down on her bed, with her still curled up to me,

"I'm alienating everyone, Jack," she muttered into my neck,

I stroked her hair as she moved up and pressed her cheek against mine, I could tell that she was far too upset to notice the burning cold. I wished there was something I could tell her, to remind her that everything was going to turn out right for her, but words of comfort could not be found. I stared at the far wall of her room as she gripped the lapels of my coat and sobbed into my shoulder.

"No matter what, you will always have me," I whispered gently into her hair,

She wrapped her arms around me; she looked into my face and forced a smile,

"I know, I know," her eyes red-rimmed from crying.

**Rachel's POV**

The room faded out and I knew that Jack was going to show me something to make me happy again, new walls folded in, square pillars, wood panels… Titanic.

"This is the reception room," Jack whispered, we were standing up now, Jack looked solid again, the band were standing in the corner, they were playing "The Beautiful Blue Danube",

"It's amazing," was all I could say,

I was still extremely worried about all the things that had changed since I met Jack, would I stop paying attention to the living and give all my attention to a dead man?

"You still look upset," Jack smiled weakly,

He took me in his arms and tried to get me to dance, like last time, but my heart wasn't in it, he stopped and looked into my eyes, he also looked miserable, the band stopped playing the jaunty, happy song and instead started to play "Nearer My God to Thee",

"Your happiness is mine also," Jack said seriously,

The walls faded out, the music stopped and we were back in my room and I was cradled in Jack's arms once more, he was looking concerned and upset.

**Jack's POV**

Rachel looked up at me as if she was considering something, she pulled herself away from me, got up and walked to the window, I walked over behind her, the dull evening light poured in the window,

"Do I matter to you?" she said, still facing the street below,

"Of course," I replied,

I stepped forward, she turned and faced me, she gave me a look that told me not to touch her, and so I stopped where I was.

"You have changed my life, Jack," she said, still looking miserable,

I nodded solemnly in agreement,

Her eyes darkened as she looked at me, tears rising to them,

"But you can promise me nothing," she said angrily,

I wanted to look away from her unnerving gaze, but I couldn't,

"You are a dead man, Jack Phillips." She said slowly,

"I know, I know, I wish I could…" I tried to talk,

She looked away from me again,

"We have no future." She said bluntly.

**A/N: More tomorrow, review please!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: Thanks again to classicmovielover, I based Harold Bride off 'A Night To Remember', in which he is quite attractive, which is why that line is there , glad you're enjoying it anyways. Ohh, we have cover art now!**

**Jack's POV**

"I know I can't give you anything, I know that you will get older while I stay forever twenty-five, but…" I trailed off,

Rachel turned and faced me, her cheeks stained with the tears that she had shed and her eyes painfully surrounded by red, she looked up into my face, I stepped towards her and wiped her tears away with my gloved hands,

"I can't promise you anything but…" I tried to speak again,

"But?" she asked quietly,

"My love, Rachel, I can promise you nothing but my undying love for you," I said finally,

I took both her hands in mine,

"You love me?" she asked slowly,

"Yes," I said, holding one of her hands up to my face, "I love you."

**Rachel's POV**

I was stunned, I had hoped that was the way that he felt, but hearing it was so amazing,

"I love you too, Jack!" I cried,

He pulled me into his arms,

"You never have to be sad again," he said, brushing my dark hair out of my eyes, "I could never be anything but yours,"

I wrapped my arms around him, embracing the beautiful coldness,

"Can I kiss you, Jack?" I asked quietly,

"Of course," was his reply,

I closed my eyes; I could still feel his blue eyes burning into me. Icy cold lips brushed against mine, sending shivers in waves down my spine, I kissed him back, his mouth slightly open. It was a kiss that started on the lips, but I could feel it spread across my whole body, down to my toes.

**Jack's POV**

She sighed happily; I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eyes,

"More, Jack," she breathed,

So I kissed her again, the warmth of her lips felt beautiful against my skin, I felt her slip her tongue into my mouth, I raised an eyebrow, as this was a new experience, I returned the favour, her arms around my neck, my hands on her face and caressing her dark hair.

"That was…." I tried to speak,

She put a finger to my lips and smiled,

"I know, Jack," she took herself out of my arms and giggled, "I can't believe it!"

"Neither can I," I answered her, as she turned her blushing face away,

We heard the front door slam,

"My parents are back," she whispered to me, then she ran down the stairs to greet them,

Her mother looked surprised at her,

"Was Chris here?" her mother asked, looking at Rachel suspiciously,

"Uh, yes, why?" Rachel asked,

"Because your lips look like they're bruised from kissing!" Rebecca laughed, as her and Rachel's father walked through to the kitchen,

Rachel raised one hand to her lips and covered them,

"Young love," her father said dismissively.

"Yes, yes," replied Rachel,

**Rachel's POV**

Jack leaned against the banister as I spoke to my parents, I couldn't believe it, he was in love with me! That kiss was an unforgettable experience, my lips burnt with the cold of his; I shivered with delight thinking about it. I turned back to Jack, he smiled at me, so knowingly, earlier I had been so upset, now it was the Christmas holidays and I was in love with the most amazing man that I had ever met, I could think of few things that would make my life better.

"Forever and always, Rachel," Jack said slowly, as I walked back towards him,

"I know, I know," I whispered, as I took his hand and he led me back up to my room,

We spoke as we sat on my bed,

"I wish you weren't dead, Jack," I told him, "as no one will understand my love for you, and I'm going to get old and…"

"If I wasn't dead," Jack interrupted, taking my hand and kissing it, "then you never would have met me, and I probably wouldn't be the person that I am now, being dead has changed me, given me a chance to think about things more, it has given me a chance to love."

There was nothing I could say to this, he was right.

**Jack's POV**

That night, I held her in my arms as we lay in bed together, she seemed so happy and relieved.

"I'm so excited for Christmas!" she beamed, I could see her happy smile in the dark,

She had always loved Christmas, it was a family occasion in her house and everyone always seemed to have a lot of fun, I had often watched.

"I'm getting Ciaran new Yu-Gi-oh cards and I getting dad chocolates and mum a candle, you can come into town with me tomorrow, Jack." She continued,

I kissed her hair, "of course I will,"

I could feel that she was tired, she seemed very used to my coldness now, so it was not stopping her from sleeping, I leaned my head against hers.

"She doesn't have long left," a familiar voice whispered,

I looked over, it was the lady in white, Rachel murmured gently due to my movement, she was nearly asleep,

"I know that you love her," the lady said, "but she's going to die soon,"

The lady smiled kindly, but I knew she was telling me this to taunt me, Rachel didn't even know that she was there, I wanted to hit that woman, but that would be wrong.

"You won't be able to save her, you know that, Jack?" she said with a coy smile, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder,

I glared at her and pulled Rachel closer to me,

"Always and forever, Jack," Rachel murmured quietly in her sleep,

"Yes, my love," I whispered back,

The lady smiled,

"I don't know why you are so upset Jack, you'll get to go to heaven, she might as well, though you may never find her again. It's a big place and one, little teenage girl could get lost very easily," she started to laugh, a laugh like the gentle tinkling of bells.

The lady stepped back from Rachel and me, with a smile,

"I will be seeing you very soon, Mr Phillips!" she laughed, "you don't have much time left with her, you may never see her again, so enjoy it!"

The lady slowly faded away, as she had done before, I was so angry, she couldn't take Rachel from me, if there was even a possibility of not seeing her again, I could not let it happen.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks to the guests for the really nice reviews! I will attempt to keep updating quickly **

**Chapter 13**

**Rachel's POV**

When I woke up, I was still in Jack's arms, this made me smile, as everything to do with him was so unbelievable, meaning that it was a relief when I had proof that what had happened was true. I looked up at him; his blue eyes were staring blankly ahead.

"Are you okay?" I asked him,

He looked quickly down at me, looking concerned, yet he forced a smile to his lips,

"Yes," he nodded, "Of course."

I was still suspicious, but I ignored my feelings, as I had presents to buy. I removed myself from Jack's cold arms and he got out of bed first, then I climbed out after him, it was still dark even though it was ten o'clock in the morning. I had 'Sugar Puffs' for breakfast, as I sat at the table, Jack was staring out the kitchen window, he seemed so distracted.

"What's wrong?" I asked him again, I could speak to him out loud as no one else was out of bed.

He glanced over at me,

"Nothing, nothing," he said quietly,

I was getting more concerned, maybe he was regretting saying that he loved me? Maybe he didn't mean it? I quickly finished my cereal, hoping that going into the city centre would distract him from whatever sorrow he was feeling.

**Jack's POV**

"She cannot die," I thought to myself, as I looked out at the garden, it had been snowing over the last few days, by this point it had settled into a covering over the ground. She cleaned her teeth, put on make-up and got dressed quickly while I waited for her downstairs. I sat at the bottom of the stairs, so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear her come down the stairs behind me.

"Are you ready?" she asked with a smile,

She was wearing a light green dress, a warm jacket and black tights; she had gloves and a scarf on to combat the cold of outside. Over her shoulder she had her bag,

"Yes," I said and took her hand, we walked out the front down and up the street together, there was no one about due to the cold, but Rachel and I didn't mind. If there were no people around, it meant that we could speak.

"You're worried about something, Jack," she said quietly,

"I know," I said, telling her the truth,

"Can you tell me what?" she asked, her brown eyes looking up hopefully at me,

"I can't," I told her, shaking my head, "It wouldn't be right,"

"Oh," Rachel said, looking away from me, a slight frown on her face, "Okay then."

We walked mostly in silence down the Crumlin Road, passing the Mater Hospital where she was born and the old courthouse.

"It's a beautiful city," she whispered to me,

"Yes," I smiled, holding her hand to my lips,

The city of Belfast looked quiet, a cold mist settling over it and the Harland and Wolff cranes starkly yellow against the white sky.

"I am so glad I can share a moment like this with you," I told her,

Her smile told me everything I needed to know, that this was as special for her as it was for me.

**Rachel's POV**

The walk into the city was cold, yet charming. Jack suited the cold landscape well, there were barely any cars, so there was an eerie quietness, but not an awkward one, though Jack was concerned about something and he wouldn't tell me what, this frustrated me, but I knew that he was keeping it from me for a reason. The first place we went to was Victoria Square, which was a huge shopping centre in the city, I bought mum a candle, I bought dad's chocolates there as well, Jack still seemed gloomy, even though there were Christmas trees and flashing lights everywhere, he kept behind me all the time, watching over me always. We went to 'Forbidden Planet' to buy the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and then we were set to go home.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Jack whispered, as we passed a church on the way home,

"Don't be, Jack, I'm sure you have a good reason for keeping secrets from me," I said, he put an arm around me,

"I'll look after you, I promise," he said as he stroked my hair with his other hand. I didn't doubt him.

I was weighed down with the bags, so he supported me, I occasionally slipped on the ice on the pavement, but Jack stopped me from falling every time. He seemed slightly jumpy, his blue eyes always scanning what was going on around us, which wasn't much, it seemed that everyone had chosen to stay at home today, rather than brave the cold.

"It still doesn't seem real," Jack muttered,

I smiled at him over my shoulder, he still looked worried, but his eyes seemed more relaxed, I slid all the bags I was carrying onto one arm and used my spare hand to touch his face gently, his sweet lips, his gentle jaw line. He was so incredibly handsome, I felt it in my stomach when his eyes flickered down to me and then he smiled. He leaned down and kissed me, a gentle freezing on my already cold lips.

**Jack's POV**

"There's no way that she could die," I thought, I could feel her heartbeat, so fast and strong, this wasn't the feeling of a girl on the brink of death, she was a girl just starting into life, a girl in love, a girl in love with me. We finished our kiss, she sighed as we parted lips, her breath forming a fog in the air,

"We'll be home soon," I told her as we passed the hospital,

She pulled her coat up around herself more,

"It is quite cold," she said,

I knew that me being around her would not be helping, so I took myself from her, she looked disappointed and I felt it too,

"You will get too cold, Rachel," I told her, trying to sound like I had authority,

"I know, I know," she muttered, rubbing her hands together, "It's so quiet, there's no one around,"

"Indeed, I have seen barely anyone…" I trailed off, as when I looked across the street, at the old courthouse, it looked extremely sinister with all the winter mist swirling around it, in front of it stood the lady in white.

"Hello, Jack!" she called across the street, as always, Rachel couldn't see or hear her, the lady's white dress billowing around her.

Why was she there? I couldn't see any threat.

"What is it, Jack?" Rachel questioned, as I had stopped walking,

I looked around, there was nothing that could hurt her, maybe the lady was wrong, and maybe Rachel would be okay.

"Jack!" hissed Rachel, "What is it?"

I heard the lady laugh, and then from behind me, I heard a squeal of car breaks, smashing the silence of the road, the icy road. I turned quickly and saw a silver car slide, the driver with his arms over his face in the vain attempt to spare himself from harm. Rachel had also turned to the sound and she also saw the car, sliding straight for her.

"Jack!" she called out, she wouldn't have time to get out of the way,

I ran for her, time had slowed and the sound of metal howled in my ears, it was a familiar sound, like iron bending to its limit. I grabbed her and pulled her out of the way. The car caught on the kerb and flipped over, smashing against the railings and telegraph post that had been next to Rachel.

"Th-thank you," she stuttered, her breathing was rapid and I could feel her heart pound, I pulled her in close to me.

The driver of the car pulled himself out of the wreck of his vehicle, blood streaming down his face, he was too busy looking at his destroyed automobile to notice Rachel, she let out a sob.

"You're okay now, you're okay," I whispered into her hair, I had saved her.

"No… No…" I heard the lady in white hiss from next to us, "She isn't!"

**A/N: Update tomorrow, reviews much appreciated!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you to guest, Leonardo Di Caprio (loved you in Inception by the way :P) and LTSangy, your reviews make me so happy 3!**

**Chapter 14**

**Jack's POV**

"She isn't okay!" laughed the lady, she grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Rachel,

Rachel stared at me, looking confused, the lady in white clung to my arm, she was a lot stronger than she appeared to be, both of her arms gripping me tightly and a strange smile on her face.

"Jack?" Rachel questioned, she looked unsteady on her feet from the fright that she had just experienced, her dark hair blowing in the wind.

Then I heard a creaking sound, the lady giggled loudly, Rachel turned to look for where the sound was coming from, the telegraph pole,

"No!" I called out, trying to get away from the lady and help Rachel away, but the lady was too strong.

Rachel looked over at the telegraph pole, the car had slammed into the base of it and it was creaking loudly, time didn't slow, I couldn't help her.

"This is it!" the lady hissed in my ear as she held my arm,

The pole fell quickly, its base cracked by the impact of the car. There was a sickening crack as it crushed her. Her small body dwarfed by the wood, the snapped wires from the top of it were strewn across the street. A pool of blood formed behind her head when she struck the pavement and the pole lay across her hips and chest. The whiteness of the snow destroyed by the shock of blood seeping out of Rachel. The lady let go of me and I ran to Rachel's side,

"I'm sorry!" sobbed the driver of the car, he couldn't see me or the lady, so he must have been speaking to Rachel, he ran towards the hospital, to get help.

Rachel's dark hair was wet with blood, her delicate bones cracked under the heavy pole, her eyes closed and a single tear on her cheek.

"No," I whispered, hoping for a reply,

Her mouth was open slightly and her hands were gently opened, she looked as if she could be asleep, I choked back tears, I had failed her, she was mine, she trusted me to look after her, I had promised her. I lifted one of her hands and kissed it, still warm, as she always was. My tears, that would be invisible to most people, dripped down onto her hand, cold, like the snow under her crushed body.

"Interesting, isn't it?" The lady asked, she had walked over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder as I crouched over Rachel, "It's not everyday you get to see something like this, you should be grateful!"

I looked up at the lady, knowing that she could see the tears in my eyes and the obvious hurt that I was feeling.

"I'm a failure…" I muttered, unsure of what I should say,

"Oh, Jack!" The lady laughed, "I like you, you are a rather nice man, so this is why I'm telling you this, you never should have let her see you! That's why this had to happen! It's not right that the living and dead should be…" she paused for thought, "In love."

"You did this," I glared at her, sickened by her,

The lady shrugged, "I had to, didn't I? I knew I couldn't trust you to be an angel, Mr Phillips, you just can't be trusted! Anyway, it's quite ironic that she should be ended by a telegraph pole, seeing as how telegraph used to mean quite a lot to you didn't it?"

"You, are a strange, deranged woman," I hissed at her,

She pretended to be shocked by my words, "Oh, Jack, don't say that! You know that I'm an angel," with these words, she smiled, looking extremely angelic, her dress blending in with the clean snow and an expression that contrasted her actions sharply.

The fire brigade had to be called to lift the post off her, they cut the pole in half and some rather strong men lifted it off her crushed body, her hips were obviously broken in many places, the people from Accident and Emergency arrived from across the road, put her gently onto a stretcher and then she was taken to the hospital,

"I can't believe she survived that," I heard one of the people from the hospital state,

Survived? A sense of relief washed over me, the possibility that there was still a chance for my love to live. I followed them to the hospital, the last time I had been in this building was when my sweet Rachel was born, the lady in white came as well, she was obviously interested in what was going on.

"See, Jack?" she laughed, as they shifted Rachel from a stretcher onto a hospital bed, "Isn't this fun?"

There was nothing I could say to that, they connected Rachel to a heart rate monitor and apparatus to help her breathe, she had broken many of her bones, she was in a coma and it was possible that she would never wake up. Her heart rate was slow and her breathing was laboured due to her broken bones, they were going to get a doctor to see to her, but they doubted that anything could be done to help her; they would have to contact her family. I didn't want to think about how they would take it, losing a daughter, a sister, a friend. I should have protected her more carefully; I wished that I could have stopped it. We hadn't had a long enough time together, there was so much more I wanted to tell her and show her. She would never kiss me again, she would never even talk to me again, it was all too horrible, I had seen some terrible things, but after I died, I hoped that that would be the end of them, that I could move on, but now I couldn't.

"What am I meant to do?" I asked the lady, trying to hold my tears back, I had to stay strong, "Can't I help her?"

"Well…" smiled the lady, "that does sound like a lot of fun!"

She had a sinister smile on her face, as if she was trying to come up with an idea, she pushed her hair back with one hand and put a finger to her lips as she thought, the room was silent apart from the steady 'bleep' of the heart rate monitor and Rachel's slow chokes for breath, I could barely take my eyes from her, she looked so weak, this never should have happened, it was my fault, if I had just never spoken to her, and stayed with her for her whole life without saying a word, then maybe she would have been alright, Chris would still love her, she could still look after her little brother,

"Ciaran," I muttered , I turned to the lady, "I'm not the only angel ever to have spoken to the person they are protecting!"

"Aw," She laughed, "I know, but you are such fun, Jack, you were always a strong character and I knew that you would be interesting, I have never paid as much attention to any other guardian angel! I've been keeping an eye on you, just to see what you've got up to… and I'm glad that I did!"

"You…" I muttered,

"Oh," she smiled, "Don't hate me, Jack; I could make things far worse!"

"Is this allowed?" I asked her, confused by her,

"Allowed?" she giggled, "You weren't allowed to fall for her in the first place!"

This silenced me, I shouldn't have, but I had to and it was too late for that.

"Is there nothing I can do? I would do anything for her," my eyes narrowed, "You know that."

The lady stopped to consider again, her blue eyes glanced to Rachel and then back to me,

"That settles it," she smiled, placing a hand on my arm and looking into my eyes, "I'll give both of you a second chance!"

**A/N: hmm what could that mean? Heheh, you'll find out tomorrow :P**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you to Titanicgrrll and the two guests , I have a biggest fan now that makes me so happy, when I first started writing this, I thought that no one would read it or like it, I'm so glad you are enjoying it.**

**Chapter 15**

**Rachel's POV**

It was a strange place, there were no apparent walls, just unending whiteness, yet it felt claustrophobic. It was all a blinding white; I was sitting on the floor, dizzy, my legs out in front of me, how had I got here? A beautiful lady in a dress of dazzling white faded in before me, she had a kind smile on her face.

"Rachel!" I heard Jack's relieved voice call out, it echoed oddly,

I turned to my right and he was sitting on the floor of this strange place as well, about two feet away from me, he looked so worried, he didn't look quite solid, but it was difficult to tell in this place, wherever it was. I tried to remember what had happened, how I had got here, there was a silver car and ice, but Jack had saved me, he definitely had. I was wearing the dress, jacket and tights that I had been wearing when I went shopping. I thought that I was dead.

"Jack," I whispered to him, attempting to stay calm, "How did I die?"

"You're not dead," he whispered back, tears in his blue eyes and a hand reaching out for me,

"Stop that, before I change my mind!" the lady said suddenly,

Jack retracted his hand and faced her, I did the same, I was so nervous and I wanted the comfort from him, but him being near to me was going to have to be enough to get me through.

The lady looked at me kindly, "Mr Phillips has persuaded me to let both of you have a second chance,"

I gasped, what did any of this mean? I was so confused.

"Right now, Rachel, your crushed body is lying on a hospital bed, barely any life left, because Jack didn't look after you well enough!" she said with a cruel smile,

I looked quickly at Jack and his eyes looked pleading, like he was truly sorry, I couldn't remember what had happened at all, I thought he saved me, my mind was trying to work, but I was having difficulty, a creaking sound, the car, Jack called my name, wood, then nothing, nothing at all. What had happened? My crushed body? What had happened to me? Jack would never let anything happen to me.

"Mr Phillips here wanted redemption for his actions before he died, that is why he became guardian angel to you, now he also wants to make sure that you have a full and happy life." The lady stopped and walked forward, she cupped my face in her hands, her fingers soft and gentle on my nervous skin, I wanted to raise my hands to push her away, but the kindness in her expression stopped me and I continued to sit with my hands by my sides, "Life is fragile, but his love for you is quite… striking, I will give you both a challenge!"

She looked over at Jack, who was looking quite sad and full of regret, I wanted to hug him, hold him in my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't, because I didn't know what the future held for us, what was going to happen and the lady may not give us this second chance if I didn't listen to her every word.

"Jack Phillips," she announced loudly, walking over to him, she looked down at him, as if he were unimportant, "You must change your actions and redeem yourself, then you may go to heaven and have the joys of eternal life and happiness!"

"Without her?" Jack asked slowly, his eyes were narrowed and his expression stern,

"Yes, you are no longer a guardian angel, you have done enough, it is time for you to leave earth." The lady said, she was enjoying upsetting him, I could see it in her face,

Jack looked away from her, he looked conflicted and hurt, his handsome features damaged by the emotional hurt that was being forced on him, the lady walked back over to me and looked down at me,

"Rachel Given, survive the challenge and you will be granted your life again, you will recover from all of your injuries and continue to live!" she told me,

"Without him?" I asked sadly, I couldn't imagine it, life without Jack, everything would have to go back to the way it was before, but I knew that I couldn't go back, I couldn't pretend that I had never met him, he had shown me what love was, proved that there is life after death, I couldn't imagine having to go on without him and pretending that I never had him.

"Yes, he will go to heaven, you will stay on the earth, without an angel to protect you…" she paused for effect, "you may never see him again!"

"No," I shook my head, that was too much, I needed him,

"Are you rejecting the challenge?" the lady asked, raising an eyebrow, she looked extremely disappointed; she obviously wanted the entertainment of whatever this challenge was.

"Don't, Rachel," Jack informed me, "We have to do this, we must at least try! That shouldn't be the end for you!"

Jack looked so worried; I really didn't know what to say, but the look on his face made me realise that I had to do this for him, even if I had to live without him, maybe I could find him in heaven someday, it couldn't be impossible, I had to let him go to heaven. I couldn't be so selfish as to not let him go, I had to, this was for both of us, I knew I had no future in loving a dead man and there was no benefit to him in loving a girl who was going to grow old and who could never let him meet her parents or friends, an invisible lover has few benefits, for both of the people involved in the relationship.

"Okay, Jack," I forced a smile to my lips and turned to him, "we can do this!"

"Good!" the lady said warmly, "I knew that you would want to this," she turned to Jack, "I'm so glad I chose to watch you!"

"She's been watching us?" I asked, extremely surprised,

"Yes!" she laughed, "I've seen your little romance blossom!"

I could feel myself blushing horribly, even though I felt I probably shouldn't be able to, I was barely alive and yet I was still able to blush,

"All your hand-holding and sweet kisses," the lady laughed, "you really are a strange couple!"

I looked over at Jack, who didn't look ashamed at all,

"Indeed," Jack said slowly, "but I am proud to say that I am in love with her, we both decided to ignore the boundaries that should have stopped us being in love and I'm extremely glad that we did."

"Well…" the lady said, "then you won't mind getting to know each other a lot better when you take part in the challenge!"

I was getting sick of all her gloating, sneering and laughing. She looked kind and angelic, yet deep down she was sick and twisted, I had a feeling that whatever had happened to me was her doing.

"If you don't mind me asking," I said carefully, trying not to make my spite to her apparent, "what is the challenge?"

"Rachel," the lady beamed, "Do you remember all those sweet visions that Mr Phillips gave you?"

I nodded; they had always made me so happy,

"I can give visions too, it is one of the perks of being an angel," she smiled, "Only I am a lot more powerful than your Jack Phillips, so my visions are a lot more… real," she looked so happy about telling me this, "in fact they are so real, that when you die in them, you are dead,"

Her gleeful expression irritated me, Jack was a true angel, not her, she was like an angel of the devil, bitter and evil, she seemed to want nothing more than to cause as much hurt as possible to both Jack and myself. Then with a twisted smile, she spoke one more sentence to me,

"If you want your life back, you have to survive the sinking of the Titanic!"

**A/N: Exciting? I will update tomorrow! Reviews are much liked, so if you feel really lively, leave one **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you to Classicmovielover, I think both kerb and curb are correct, but I live in Northern Ireland and we spell it 'kerb', Number 1 Fan, I love you , I can't believe anyone likes my writing that much **

**Chapter 16**

**Rachel's POV**

The place where we were faded out into nothing, dazzling, bright nothing. It was like I was floating through clouds, my limbs loose and relaxed, I looked around for Jack, for anyone, but there was unending nothingness. It was a relaxing experience, though I was worried, floating in nothing was lulling my mind slowly. A heard a seagull's call overhead, a sign of life! I looked around to see it, I could see a hint of blue sky, the clouds turning grey, I felt rain on my face. I looked down again and I was sitting on the side of a street, rain drizzling down on me, wheels of a passing vehicle splashed mud and water over me, I let out a gasp at both the cold and the sudden realisation. This place was familiar, yet different.

The road was cobbled, there were many people about, I could see the leaning Albert Clock further down the road, this was Belfast, but not how I knew it. Horses and carriages passed over the cobbled street, splashing up the puddles on the street. I pulled myself up from the ground, muddy and damp, still wearing my light green dress and jacket, abet wet and muddy. Most of the people who walked past ignored me, but some gave me a disgusted look, I knew that I must have looked terrible to them.

"Jack…" I whispered, but I couldn't see him anywhere, there were far too many people about for me to pick out one person in the crowd.

I knew that I would have to ask someone, I needed to know what day it was, to know how long I had. I walked over to a well-dressed man, a pocket watch draped from his waistcoat and a heavy overcoat to protect him from the bad weather,

"Excuse me," I asked him quietly, "Could you tell me what date it is?"

He turned to me and looked surprised, "It is the second of April," He thrust a coin into my hand, "You honestly look a disgrace, take this and buy something decent!"

I took the coin and nodded, "Thank you… sir,"

He stepped away from me; it was obvious that he was looking down on me. I didn't know where to go, I slipped the coin into a pocket, not even pausing to look at it, and I wouldn't know its worth anyway.

"Ew!" I heard a high-pitched voice call out from behind me,

I turned quickly to see a girl of about my age, her dark hair in an elaborate plait on her head, holding her dress up slightly, she was wearing a dress of pale blue, pulled in tight at the waist, it looked quite uncomfortable, she was followed by two other young women, who were also dressed in a similar fashion. They were all carrying umbrellas, they made me look down at what I was wearing and feel awkward, under their pretty dresses they must have been wearing stockings, but I was wearing tights, which hadn't even been invented and a dress that didn't even reach my knees, my long black hair was frizzy and hanging loose, dripping down onto my shoulders and back, the fact that I was muddy and wet was not helping my case in anyway.

"She must be an escaped vagrant from the workhouse! What is she doing here?" she screamed again,

I looked behind me, was she talking about me? Four young men, who had been walking together on the other side of the road, rushed over, avoiding the slow traffic on the street, they looked concerned for these pretty ladies,

"What is it, miss?" one of them asked her,

"That vagrant!" she howled, pointing one white-gloved hand at me, her pale features twisted in panic,

They all turned and looked at me, two of the men slowly advancing, as if I were some kind of wild animal that should be observed,

"Be careful," one whispered, "she might run,"

Run? What did they mean, why would I run? I had done nothing wrong, but I could see in the way that they looked at me that they didn't have good intentions, my instincts took over, I turned from them and sprinted, the wind and rain whipping my face, attempting to look back at where they were occasionally, I ran in the opposite direction from the Albert Clock and then ran right onto a different street, avoiding stunned people on the streets, they were obviously not used to this sort of thing. I had no idea where I was, I just had to keep running. My eyes watered, I was so scared, how could I survive this? I rushed past legions of old buildings, the same buildings that still stood in Belfast in 2011, but their facades were no longer faded, it was like running through an old photograph, only it was real, alive and extremely dangerous.

"Stop!" I heard one of the men call out from behind me, his voice sounding strained, he obviously hadn't had this much exercise in a long time,

I couldn't, I wouldn't, where was Jack? I gasped for breath, I was getting tired now, I had run quite far now, a hand caught my arm, pulling me harshly to a stop, I turned and looked at who had grabbed me, it was one of the young men, he mouth twisted up into a happy leer,

"I've got her!" He yelled triumphantly, as I tried to pull away from him,

Another one held my other arm; I tried to struggle against them, I couldn't get taken to the workhouse, I wouldn't get to see Jack! I wouldn't get to live.

"Get away from me! You don't understand" I screamed,

They would not listen to me, they held me as they waited for the ladies to catch up, who continued to howl at me, and they also praised the young men for their bravery in catching me. I was losing patience with these idiotic members of the Edwardian upper class, I bit the hand of one of them, he yelled out in pain, but still held onto me, I couldn't stop screaming, which wasn't like me at all, but all the fear of everything that had happened to me recently was bursting out. Strong hands hurting my arms, my face crumpled in anger, tears stinging my eyes, making it difficult to see. These men were a lot stronger than me; I was getting pushed down towards the pavement. This was it, I would never see my family again, or Jack, I would end up in the workhouse, I wouldn't get my life back, I was now choking back painful sobs, there was nothing I could do, nothing at all.

"Excuse me," a kind voice said, my heart lifted to hear it,

The men loosened their hold on me and I looked up, a leather-gloved hand was on the shoulder of one of the men,

"What is this about?" the voice asked, the tone suggesting interested concern,

I strained to look up, to see the face from which this voice came, but my eyes were blurry and I could not see past the hulking forms of the two men who held me.

"Uh…" one of the men started, he seemed deeply unsure, "This vagrant was scaring the ladies,"

"Was she indeed?" I heard humour in the voice, "well, I think you can let me sort this out."

"Yes… sir." One of the young men bumbled,

They released my arms, I nearly fell, exhausted by my attempted escape; I was caught by a pair of arms, gold edging on the sleeves of the dark jacket he was wearing. I looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes, an incredibly handsome face, that kind smile, Jack Phillips, my love, Jack. So solid and alive, so good looking, I wiped my eyes quickly so that I could get a better look at him; he had that attractive, concerned look on his face. I felt my knees nearly give out in relief on seeing him, I wasn't in danger anymore, Jack would look after me, he knew how to survive in this place, a place that I knew a lot about, but had no idea how to live in it, he would show me how.

"Jack," I whispered as he helped me to my feet, I was still slightly uneasy, this had been the most confusing and stressful day of my life, I felt weak again at the thought that I was barely alive at all in reality.

He had a puzzled look on his face, "Yes," he replied, lowering his eyebrows and looking at me in a confused manner,

I ignored that look, "Oh, I'm so happy to see you!" I gushed, my voice as wobbly as my legs,

He paused for a moment, taking in my appearance, those familiar eyes scanning me up and down as if he were seeing me for the first time, "Who are you and how do you know my name?" he asked slowly and gently, as if he didn't want to frighten me,

"Jack…" I said slowly, the shock settling in, "You don't recognise me?"

He shook his head slowly; all I could do was gasp.

**A/N: More tomorrow! Or maybe later today if I have nothing to do!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This is actually my second time writing this chapter because my older brother took the laptop off me and I had to start again on the computer -_-, thanks to my Number 1 fan, classicmovielover and Louise for the reviews, I'm glad you think it's 'peachy good'.**

**Chapter 17**

**Rachel's POV**

How could he not remember me? A flare of panic rose in my body, tears pricked in my eyes again, I wanted to stay strong, but this was too much. I stared into his blue eyes, then suddenly I saw his jaunty smile rise to his lips and he pulled me in close,

"I was joking, Rachel," he laughed, "Like I could forget you!"

"Oh thank God!" I whispered, I had been so worried and now I was too exhausted to be annoyed at him for such a cruel joke.

"I have been looking everywhere for you!" he laughed, I could hear the relief in his voice despite his laughter, "I just appeared in the Crown Bar and I had no idea where you were!"

"I appeared on the side of a road, in a muddy puddle," I said crossly, jealous that he had got to land somewhere dry and comfortable,

"I can see that!" he smiled, "You look very bedraggled!"

He hugged me, not caring that he was getting mud on his clean uniform, it felt great to be in his arms, my exhausted body supported by him,

"I'm so happy to see you!" he whispered, tears in his eyes,

I was so glad to see him too, to feel his heat radiating off him, that angel had created an extremely realistic vision; it was unbelievable, the streets and the people all seemed totally real, Jack seemed totally alive, not like the painful cold that I was used to. I was finding it difficult to believe that we had not travelled back in time; I stepped back from him so that we could speak,

"What are we going to do?" I asked, unsure of what our next move would be now that we had found each other,

"Well," Jack said, observing a clock across the road, "It is seven o'clock on…" he paused, "what date is it?"

"The second of April," I said definitely,

"Which means the Titanic leaves Belfast today," he said quietly, I could hear the thoughtfulness in his voice,

"Yes," I replied,

"The lady in white said that you had to survive the sinking, which means that we have to get on that ship… today."

"Yes," I said again, nodding my head,

"But we don't have the money to buy you a ticket…" he paused, looking thoughtful,

"I have this!" I remembered the coin in my pocket and pulled it out; Jack took it gently from my hand,

"One pound," he said slowly, his eyes taking in the appearance of this large, gold coin,

"What is it worth?" I asked,

Jack thought for a moment, "About seventy pounds in your money,"

I gasped, amazed that the man had given me that much, he must have been extremely rich, or extremely foolish,

"It's not enough for a ticket though," Jack pondered for a moment, "but there is something else we could do…"

Then he grabbed my hand and led me through the streets of Edwardian Belfast, in my heart was a feeling of gladness, as I knew that I didn't have to face this strange, tough place on my own.

**Jack's POV**

I was so glad to have found her, but now I had a new worry, I had to make sure that we got on the Titanic together; I led her to a shop, the door opened with the jangle of a bell, a bored looking woman sat behind a wooden desk, evening dresses hung on hangers behind her, large paper bags were on the shelves and floor.

"Hello," I smiled, trying to be as charming as possible,

She looked up with a start, her eyes warming as she looked at me,

"What can I help you with… sir?" she asked, pushing a strand of dark hair off her face,

"You are providing some of the uniforms for the RMS Titanic, true?" I asked her, drumming my gloved-fingers on her desk,

"Oh," she said with a smile, "You must be here to pick one up, though…" she scanned me up and down, "You do appear to be already wearing one…"

"Never mind that," I smiled at her, brushing her concern away, "my name is Jack Phillips,"

The woman quickly searched behind her for a large, sturdy paper bag with my name on it, she handed it to me,

"Here you are, sir," she said with a smile,

I nodded to her, "Would you have anything spare for my young female friend?" I asked, motioning to Rachel, who was looking tired and cold behind me,

The woman paused for a minute, I gave her what I thought to be a dashing smile, she appeared to blush and then started searching behind her again, she handed me another bag,

"Thank you so much, dear lady," I said with a polite smile, as I turned, carrying the bags and left the shop, the bell jangling again as we left,

"What was that about?" Rachel asked, once we were outside, she had a look of confusion and concern on her face,

"Well," I smiled, "An English accent can get you anywhere."

**Rachel's POV**

I was unsure about what Jack was plotting, but he made me spend the pound on a new pair of shoes, stockings and a corset,

"It will all help you to blend in here," he reassured me, "all the people who pass us have been staring at you,"

Jack glanced up at the Albert Clock, twenty past seven. He took my hand again and led me through backstreets and alleyways, until we reached the end of a small street; there was no one around,

"You must put all this on, and quickly," he whispered, his lips curled into a smile,

"Here?" I hissed, I was not prepared to get changed in a street, he seemed to find my panic funny, so he laughed,

"Yes," Jack said, "Remember that this is not real, just a vision, so it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"But Jack!" I moaned,

"I will keep watch," he smiled as he turned his back to me, with this I knew I would have to put these new clothes on.

I sighed and took my tights and shoes off, I slipped the stockings on, carefully not to snag them with my nails and put the new shoes on as well, they had small heels and they laced up. I slid the change from our shopping trip into one shoe. Jack had started to whistle to himself softly as I took my jacket and dress off awkwardly. The corset was impossible to put on alone. The strings of it hung by my sides as I tried to hold it up.

"Jack!" I hissed, holding the front of it up, to spare myself further embarrassment, "I need help!"

He turned around and smiled at my panicked expression, I could see that he was holding in laughter, he laced the back of it up tight, his hands were extremely knowing, I tried not to let out gasps of pain as he pulled it tighter,

"Don't ask how I know how to do this," he laughed quietly,

"Okay," I murmured in a strained voice, urging myself to keep my hands by my sides and not try and pull the corset off.

It was an uncomfortable garment, it pulled my waist in and made it impossible to take a deep breath, Jack pulled a maid's outfit out of one of the bags,

"Don't complain," Jack said, before I had the chance to make any dismissive comments about it,

As I slipped the black dress on, it was better than standing in a street wearing barely anything, I finally took the chance to look towards Belfast Lough, I could see the Titanic towering above the buildings, the front three funnels giving out a black smoke, the yellow of the funnels stark against the grey sky, the funnels were black-topped, matching the main paint colour of the ship. I couldn't believe how big it was. Jack helped me to button my dress up.

"Perfect," he smiled at me,

"Thank you," I said, my cheeks burning under his appreciative gaze,

"You look beautiful," he said, attempting to comb my hair out with his fingers,

"We'd better go…" I started, my eyes glancing from him to the ship,

"One more thing," Jack interrupted, he pulled a hat out of the other bag, a hat exactly like the one that he always wore, and he set it gently on my head.

I looked up into his eyes as he smiled down at me, he planted a gentle kiss on my lips, the first warm kiss that he had ever given to me, I put my hands on his face, unable to take my eyes away from his entrancing gaze. He kissed me again, I tilted my head, allowing his tongue to enter my mouth, I didn't care anymore that we were in a public place, like Jack had said, it wasn't real anyway. I kissed him for longer than I ever could have before, as now he wasn't cold, he wasn't dead; he wasn't dust in the ocean, for now he was real and alive, warm and passionate. He set the bags down gently without taking his lips from mine, his hands cupped my face. A kiss like this was never something that I had experienced before, I wished that it could last forever, but it couldn't, we had a ship to catch! He removed his lips from mine, my lips still aching for him, my hands dropped to my sides quickly, as did his, we had to pretend that we had not done that, we had to be proper Edwardians. Jack smiled down at me, eager to tell me my new role,

"Rachel Given," he said, "Titanic's third wireless officer."

**A/N: More tomorrow, you know the drill by now , Reviews are appreciated! **


	18. Chapter 18

A**/N Thank you to Classicmovielover and Number 1 Fan, yes, we will be seeing quite a bit of Harold Bride, my second favourite Marconi officer! This is all such a new experience to me, writing a fanfic that isn't meant to be bad, in fact one of the people who reviewed this story also reviewed a story that I wrote that was intentionally bad, but I won't tell you what it is XD Enjoy chapter 18.**

**Chapter 18**

**Jack's POV**

Rachel looked quite unstable in her new shoes, but she needed them to add to the illusion of her being of the Edwardian times. I held onto her hand, to help her keep her balance and so that I wouldn't lose her in the growing crowds. As we got closer to the ship, it was nearly impossible to get past all the people, the crowd heaving with excited people, calling goodbye to relatives who would be working on the ship, or they were just here to see the biggest ship in the world leave port. The Titanic looked bigger than I remembered, glossy, black metal was visible over the heads of the people gathered, leading on into the huge yellow and black funnels, several gangways led up into the huge ship, smoke passing into the air.

"Excuse me," I would call out, trying to get as much authority into my voice as possible, this often made people get out of the way, though Rachel and I did have to push our way past many.

We finally got to a gangway; there was a man in uniform at it, making sure that unwanted people did not get aboard. He was wearing a dark uniform, his dark eyes hooded by heavy, black eyebrows.

"Crew members," I said with a smile,

"Name?" the man asked coldly,

"Jack Phillips, and this is my assistant Rachel Given,"

"Jack Phillips…" the man considered my name, we had probably worked on a ship together before,

He looked at Rachel and furrowed his brow,

"You are both Marconi officers?" he asked, looking slightly confused,

"Yes," I said,

"But she's…" the man started,

"If you have any problems…" I said, starting up the gangway with Rachel, "You can take them up with Mr Marconi when we get to New York!"

"Um, Yes, sir!" he called after us, too late for him to do anything now.

**Rachel's POV**

The ship was a maze of corridors; each looking quite similar to the untrained eye, we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, as we ended up in first class, I glanced up at Jack to see if he knew where to go,

"Mmm," pondered Jack, "We should try and get to the top of the ship…"

I didn't care much for getting there, as there was so much to see, as there were no passengers on the ship yet, it was quite empty and all the doors were unlocked.

"Jack…" I whispered, even though there was no one around to hear us, "I have no idea where we are,"

"Neither do I," he said slowly, "I never went to this part of the ship."

We were in a long corridor, white wood panels covered the walls, with a golden handrail running along the walls, the carpet was a rich red. I wished that I had a map of the ship.

"Can we look in one of the rooms?" I asked with a smile, curiosity getting the better of me, as it was too much for a Titanic buff to resist,

"I don't see why not," he said as he pushed the door nearest to us open.

The room was beautiful, thick carpets, a fine wooden table surrounded by delicate looking chairs, a four-poster bed stood in one corner, a bed-side table and lamp next to it. I let out a low whistle, expressing how impressed I was.

"Wow," I said, as Jack closed the door behind us,

"It really is something, isn't it?" he smiled, releasing the golden door handle with a click.

I sat on the bed, the springs bouncing under me, the fine sheets soft under my small hands. I smiled at Jack, he walked over cautiously and sat next to me, in a similar way that he would have when we were in my room, but I pushed this thought from my mind, thinking of home hurt, so I was trying to keep myself distracted. My hands itched for him, I was addicted to him, he was like a totally new man now that he was live, which would probably seem like a stupid thing to think to anyone who didn't understand my situation.

"We should get going, the ship is going to leave soon," Jack said, his blue eyes glinting in the morning sunlight that was seeping through the window of the cabin.

"One minute more," I said as I took his hand,

"This really isn't appropriate…" Jack said slowly as I put my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, appreciating the soft warm skin of his face with my lips,

"As you said before," I muttered, "this isn't real, so it doesn't matter."

"Well…" Jack started as I tried to pull him further onto the bed,

I felt my dress slide up a bit, I bit my lip, I had never imagined myself being in a situation like this.

"Not appropriate," Jack said, attempting to be stern as he pulled the black material down over my ankles again.

I was giddy with excitement, this feeling made me suddenly kick out, striking the lamp on the table next to us. I heard a smash, I turned around reluctantly to look at it, the glass lampshade was smashed to pieces and the rest of the light lay on the floor, shiny pieces of glass dotted throughout the carpet. Jack laughed,

"Well, that's our sign to leave!" he said as he pulled me off the bed and to my feet,

We quickly darted out the door, only to encounter a passing steward,

"Lost?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow at us,

"No, not at all!" smiled Jack, "though you may find you are having trouble with the lighting fixtures in that room!" Jack pointed at the door, then we quickly walked off down the corridor. I was hoping that our faces wouldn't be remembered.

**Jack's POV**

The floor trembled gently under our feet as we found our way out onto the deck, we were ready to leave Belfast, Rachel and I looked out at the city one last time, I could see the drawing offices, a grand building in the Edwardian times, though by 2011 they would be horribly neglected.

"This has been so amazing," Rachel said, smiling up at me, her huge brown eyes reflecting the morning sun,

"It has, I never expected to see you here," I said,

It was true, this was something that I had never seen coming at all, I had expected her to live out her life quietly, but of course not. Fate had always seemed to be against me, there must be few people who have had to die in the Titanic disaster twice.

"You seem nervous," she said slowly,

"Yes," I nodded,

"Why?" she asked, confusion in her voice,

"I have no idea what I'm doing!" I laughed, "I mean, how are you meant to cope here? I wish we could have got a bit of preparation."

"I know," she said, looking back to the city as we slowly started to move away, crowds cheering, "It's so real and I don't think I would have been a very good Edwardian girl,"

I pulled her close, "It doesn't matter to me at all, but I need to help you get through this as easily as possible, I just want you to be safe, and this would be a lot easier if you could pretend to be an Edwardian lady,"

"I know, I know, Jack," she looked up at me, "but it's going to be very difficult, I mean…" she cracked a smile, "I'm no lady!"

"But just act like you are, even if it seems like a bit of a joke," I told her,

"Okay!" She smiled, "I'll do it for you!"

"You are going to survive, you have nothing to worry about," I told her quietly.

We remained silent for a minute as we steamed out into Belfast Lough, other members of crew were walking about on deck as well, some admiring the view, others going about their duties. The lifeboats hung gently in their davits, rocking slightly in the wind that the open sea was now producing, their chains clinking. Smoke was now heaving out of the front three funnels; I could imagine all the hard work that was going on below, the giant engines creating a metallic rhythm, the clean steel shining as silver.

"Triple expansion reciprocating engines," Rachel said slowly,

"I was just thinking about them," I smiled,

"You can sort of feel them, can't you?" She said, her eyes lighting up, "so powerful!"

"Well," I said, "our work will be nothing like that," I shrugged, glad that I didn't have to go near any dangerous machinery.

As much as I admired the work of the men down below in the ship, I much preferred the job that I had chosen, coils of gold wire, the dark sturdy wood of the desk, the hum of the spark. As much as Titanic had been dreadful to me, it was quite nice to be back. It was a strange feeling to see something like this again after so long, after the age of ocean liners being so long over, but here I was, back on the deck of the most legendary ship of all time, the Titanic.

"Yeah!" Rachel said enthusiastically, "I'm quite excited!"

**Rachel's POV**

The sea wind was blowing against my face, the water was so far below us, and the Titanic did seem truly unsinkable. Being on the ship made it difficult to imagine it being made to sink, so it was a strange feeling knowing that in reality it was a rusting hulk on the bottom of the Atlantic. Jack seemed really thoughtful, he was worried about me and my ability to cope here, but I was going to try my best.

"Ah, hello!" I heard a voice call from behind me,

I turned to see who it was coming from, and if they were talking to me, I saw a pair of vibrant green eyes under messy blonde hair, topped with a hat with a golden 'M' surrounded by gold leaves. A kind smile on the face of this young man, I was struck by how familiar he looked,

"Harold Bride," he smiled, "Nice to meet you!"

**A/N: More tomorrow, Harold Bride! Reviews are much liked by me.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks again to Number 1 fan, hehehe, you'll just have to see where it goes…**

**Chapter 19**

**Jack's POV**

He shook my hand enthusiastically, his head bobbing as he did so,

"Jack Phillips," he beamed, "The best wireless operator in the world!"

"It's very nice to meet you, Harry," I laughed, finding his enthusiasm flattering,

"Harry?" he paused, "No one has ever called me that before," he thought about it for a minute, "But I like it!"

"Have you found the wireless shack yet?" I asked him,

"Yes!" Harry looked thoughtful again, "Who's she?" he asked, motioning to Rachel,

"This is Rachel Given, a fellow Marconi operator," I told him,

"Nice to meet you," Rachel said politely,

"Indeed, there are female operators now?" Bride smiled,

"Yes," I answered, "apparently their hearing is better than ours would be and they have greater patience!"

Bride nodded, still looking slightly confused, Rachel put out her hand for Bride to shake and he did so, Harry's bright green eyes looking into Rachel's eyes of deep brown.

"Alright, shall we go now?" I asked,

They both turned and nodded to me.

**Rachel's POV**

Harry showed us the way, even though Jack must have already known where we were going. We had to walk through the officer's quarters, then we got to a door that said 'Wireless Room' on the door, I felt extremely excited, I was going to see the place where Jack had worked! Bride pushed the door open; it was a small room, a huge brown desk with two chairs at it being the main feature. A maze of complicated gold and brown machinery covered the desk. Another door leading off into an adjoining room and there was a small curtained off area. Some wooden boxes full of other pieces of metal sat on the floor.

"We just have to do the last minute installations and we will be all set!" Bride smiled,

Jack looked back at me, "You don't have to stay for this, it would be far too boring for you, and I wouldn't want the dull technicalities to bore you, Rachel."

"But Jack…" I attempted to protest, I wanted to look around the ship, but I also wanted to stay with him,

"Have fun, explore the ship!" he said sternly, yet I could see a smile flickering in his eyes,

I nodded, before turning and leaving the room, leaving Jack and Harry with the mess of equipment to sort out. I walked through the narrow corridors of the officer's quarters before emerging on deck again. It was actually quite bright now, the sun beating down on the deck, I took my hat off and held it. Over at the railing, I saw a familiar form.

"Mr Andrews!" I called out, running over to him,

"Uh, hello?" he said, looking puzzled, though his face was kind,

I then remembered that he wasn't the real Thomas Andrews, only a vision of him, so I felt awkward,

I tried to laugh off the awkwardness, "You must be so proud of your ship!"

"Ah, yes," he smiled, "It is good that this ship will have fine maids like yourself to serve on her,"

I nodded, not in the mood to explain that I was in fact a wireless operator. Mr Andrews was looking out at the sea, he seemed quite distant.

"I will leave you to your thoughts then, sir." I told him.

I walked off, unsure of where to go; I ended up taking a white staircase down and wandering across repetitive corridors, winding and winding, all white walls and floors. It was all starting to make me a little uneasy, I wanted to go back the way that I had came, but I couldn't remember what that was, each corridor looking quite the same. I stopped and leaned against a wall, trying to breathe slowly, attempting to prevent myself from succumbing to panic. It was just a ship, I couldn't be that lost! I was still carrying the hat and just looking at it made me remember why I was here, I let out a sigh, my head resting against a wall.

"Do you need help?" I heard a voice ask,

I looked up and saw a man who appeared to be in his thirties, "Y-yes!" I stuttered, not expecting anyone to be there, the ship had been so quiet, I had barely seen anyone the whole time I had been there.

"It is a very big ship," he smiled, "I have been on many, but none have been quite like this one,"

He had to be an officer, I could tell not just by his uniform, but there was something about his mannerisms that made him seem deserving of respect, he had real authority in his stature and voice.

"Do you trust the ship?" I asked him, hindsight giving me extra interest in what he would say,

"There is nothing that could go wrong with her, I've actually been shipwrecked, but not by a ship like this," he told me, his eyes looking past me as he remembered his previous experience,

This line was familiar to me, a Titanic officer, shipwrecked before…

"Lightoller…" I whispered, too quietly for him to hear,

"I'll show you back up to deck," he smiled, "My name's Charles Lightoller, second officer,"

I smiled as if I didn't already know, but of course I had seen 'A Night to Remember' far too many times. We spoke about the ship as he led me through the complicated corridors; he spoke to me kindly, though I could tell in his voice that he doubted a girl like me would understand anything about the engineering of the vessel. It was hard to think that he was little more than a vision, a ghost. He seemed so real, I mean, he was Lightoller, and this was all too strange, it was like history was repeating; it was an exact replica of the events that took place involving the Titanic, only now I was involved.

**Jack's POV**

Harold Bride was an incredibly kind person, a permanent smile on his face; he made piecing the last pieces of machinery together bearable, he told me about his family, his fiancée and his hometown, mixed in with silly jokes and idle chatter. Even though I had heard it all before, I still wanted to listen to what he was saying, I refused to see him as just a vision that the lady in white had created, he was still Harry Bride, the person that I had spent my final hours with, my friend, whether he was a vision or not did not change that. Suddenly Rachel burst into the room; both Harry and I looked up from our conversation.

"Hello!" she called out, she went and sat in one of the chairs at the desk, her dark hair wild from the wind, her cheeks flushed from the sea air.

Harry and I were sitting on the floor in a mess of metal coils and wooden boxes, to Rachel it would have made no sense, but to Harry and I it was all logical, and strangely beautiful.

"You were quick," I observed, she had been gone for little more than an hour,

"Well," she said, putting her hat onto her head, "I got lost and the second officer had to show me back up to the deck,"

Harry let out a snort of laughter, "That would never happen to me!" he smiled,

"Should we put that to the test?" Rachel smiled down at him, the glint in her eyes suggesting that she would actually like to see Harold Bride lose himself in the giant ship,

"Well…" Harry trailed off, "perhaps not, I'm not awful used to ships, more exciting than working in the post office though, eh Jack?"

"Certainly," I replied, sliding the last Tesla coil into place.

"So," smiled Harry, "when are your birthdays?"

"Eleventh of April," I said, remembering how I had spent my twenty-fifth birthday, which was going to happen over again in a number of days,

"Fifteenth of April," Rachel said, we smiled at each other, enjoying the closeness of our birthdays,

"Lucky!" Harry smiled, "mine's not until January! I'll have to see if I can get little presents for my new friends!"

I could see Rachel smiling and I could feel such happiness in my heart, a lightness in my spirit, it really was like being alive again, I could feel the beat of my heart again and the steadiness of my breaths, tasting the air, the smell of freshly varnished wood and polished metal. This is where I was meant to be, sitting on a wireless shack floor, sun beaming in through the skylight, with my friend and my love, this is the way that I was meant to be, unfortunately I knew it was not to last.

**A/N: I will write more tomorrow, we will be seeing the city of Southampton tomorrow, isn't that nice? Yep, I thought so! See you all then **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks again to classicmovielover and number 1 fan, you think I'm talented? I'll just sit here and blush, thank you **

**Chapter 20**

**Rachel's POV**

Jack and Harry spent the whole day trying out the equipment, they kept telling me how great the signal was, that it was carrying for thousands of miles, to far off places like Tenerife. Occasionally an officer would poke his head in, telling us of a message that we must send to Southampton or Liverpool about the progress of the ship. But apart from that we spent the whole day having happy chatter with each other, either Jack or Harry sitting at the desk with the headphones on, listening for any information. At one point they let me try it out, letting me send a message that one of the officers had instructed us to.

"Don't be nervous," Harry smiled reassuringly,

I tried not to be, I sat at the signal key, the cold metal under my hand, a sheet of paper in front of me, informing me of the message that must be sent, would I know how to do it?

"You know how to do this," Jack whispered kindly,

I did know how to do it, I had learnt in the dreams that he had given me, once I started, the steady hum of the spark and my pressing on the key interrupting it in different ways, it all seemed to make perfect sense. Jack looked extremely proud of me, he handed me a piece of paper once I was finished, it had a combination of dots and dashes on it, all written in his clear handwriting.

"Can you tell me what this means, Lady Sparks?" he asked kindly, giving me a new nickname,

I looked at the page **".. / .-.. - …- . / -.- - ..- "**

I thought for a second, taking it in slowly, then I looked into his loving blue eyes, I was sitting in one of the chairs at the desk, Harry was still sitting on the floor, Jack was standing, one hand on the desk, looking into my eyes.

"Why, Jack," I said with a smile, "That appears to be Morse code for 'I love you'!"

"And indeed it is true," he said, his voice soft,

Harry looked slightly surprised, but he didn't say anything. Jack touched my face gently with one hand; I could still hear the gentle hum of the spark. I smiled up at him, as always, this moment was perfect. I closed my eyes, so the feeling of him kissing me was a surprise. I knew that Harry would be even more surprised by this, so we could not have an extremely passionate kiss, just a short, sweet one. I opened my eyes and he took his lips from mine.

"So…" said Harry, as both Jack and I looked at him, "how long have you known each other?"

"Since forever," Jack said definitely.

**Jack's POV**

It had been a long day, but that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy it, I knew that we would be arriving in Southampton at around midnight, so before that I would have to get food and then find somewhere for Rachel to sleep, I knew that she wasn't going to be happy about being separated from me, as we had been sharing a bed every night for quite a while by now, but it was only at night time that she had to be apart from me. Seeing as how we were not proper members of the crew, we had to eat our food in the Marconi shack. At dinner time, Bride and Rachel went off to get food while I looked after the wireless, when they got back; I took the earphones off and left them on the desk. Bride pulled back the curtain that covered over the bed area and we all sat on it and ate, whilst chattering about the events of the day, careful not to spill anything.

"I ran into an officer Moody earlier," Bride informed us, "amazingly he doesn't live up to his name! He was a really nice guy, not that much older than me, a lot taller though."

"Well that wouldn't take much!" Rachel laughed, "Even I'm nearly as tall as you, Harry!"

"Sshh!" Harry glared, pretending to be cross, though he didn't do a very good job of it, a giddy smile breaking onto his lips,

"Are you looking forward to getting to Southampton?" I asked both of them,

Rachel nodded, "I've never been to England before!"

Harry looked at her in a rather puzzled way before shrugging, "I'm going to see if I can meet up with my family, I don't get to see them much these days, I'm always busy,"

I suddenly remembered that I might get to see my family as well, "I guess that I am lucky," I said, smiling to Rachel, "That where ever I go, the person I love goes as well."

**Chris' POV**

I had been here for four hours today, just to be with her, it had been four months since it happened, four months she had been like this. I remember when I heard what had happened to her, it was like my heart stopped, when I first saw her crushed body, I felt nothing but pain. She was looking better now, but she still hadn't woken up. Her eyes hadn't as much as opened, I sat in the chair next to the hospital bed, watching Rachel slowly breathe. Could I have stopped this?

"Jack Phillips probably wanted this to happen," I thought to myself, "now he could have her all to himself and there would be no chance at all for me."

I felt bitter, every time I thought about what had happened and the possibility of me preventing it, tears would rise to my eyes, making me glad that the room was empty apart from Rachel and I. I had probably over reacted to meeting Jack Phillips, but I had felt so unbearably jealous and upset, knowing that I would not have her love when he was around, now I couldn't have her love at all. I had become so used to this room, the white bed sheets, the steady bleeps and the slow rise and fall of her chest. Her skin was deathly pale as she had not been outside, it was April now, rain pattering against the window. I spoke to her often, but there was never any sign of a response.

"Jack Phillips, you bastard," I muttered, "You took her from me, you selfish bastard."

Why did he have to let her get hurt? He should have known that she wasn't his to love, she was mine, he just ruined everything, I put a hand over my mouth to stop me from crying, I wished that I could be stronger, like her family was, when her little brother came to the hospital to see her, his eyes filled with tears, but there was always something peaceful about him, like he knew that everything was alright. All I could do was cry, and feel stupid and weak. I lifted my head; I had been staring at the floor and looked over at a plaque on the wall.

"Hilary Dennehy 1860-1902, nun who served this hospital."

I screwed up my eyes, what a familiar sounding name, like it was the name of someone that I knew, but by the dates I knew that was impossible.

"Hilary Dennehy…" I whispered quietly,

I felt a kind hand touch my shoulder, I looked up into the kind face of a nun, her hazel eyes full of joy, the white of her hood framing her smiling face,

"Hello, Christopher, I'm so glad that we finally get to speak," she said, her voice gentle and echoing,

I was stunned; I could see through her, she must be…

"I'm your guardian angel," she whispered, still smiling.

I felt so much calmer, like I couldn't be upset anymore,

"Rachel, will she…" I tried to speak,

"Shh," the nun said, "No one can see me but you, I have always looked after you and I always will."

Then I knew that everything was going to be alright for me.

**A/N: Sorry that I didn't update yesterday, the computer wasn't working , but you've read chapter 20 now and that's all that matters!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you to Horses of Shadow and Night and Number 1 fan, I'm sorry that school is so boring for you; I'm on my summer holidays at the minute, that's why I can write so much. I sort of wanted to give Ciaran and Thomas their own fanfic, but I might try and just fit them in here instead, thanks for the suggestion **

**Chapter 21**

**Rachel's POV**

For the first night in quite a while, I went to bed by myself. Jack had asked around a bit before bedtime as to where I could sleep, he was hoping that I would be able to get a private cabin, but no luck, I was told I had to share a room with the maids, I didn't particularly mind, the only thing that bothered me was being apart from Jack.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked, lingering at the door of the maid's room like a forlorn lover,

"I'll be fine, Jack," I smiled,

He took my face is his hands, my hands rising to meet his,

"Don't miss me too much, okay?" he smiled,

"I'll try not to, Sparks," I whispered,

"We're being quite silly, really," he whispered, "I mean, I will see you again in the morning!"

"Of course!" I said, planting a kiss on his lips, feeling his lips form into a smile against mine,

"Goodnight," he said once we had pulled apart,

"Goodnight," I whispered as I reluctantly closed the door.

The maid's room was like a dormitory, plain beds all in a row, there was no one else there, they would all be boarding in Southampton. I chose the bed furthest into the corner. I struggled out of the uncomfortable clothes that I was wearing, pulling at the corset strings; they frustrated me greatly, reaching around my back, I wanted to be comfortable again. Eventually I got the dreaded garment off and I flung it without care to the floor, it deserved to stay there, I knew I would have to put it on again in the morning, but for the minute I was glad to be free. I had nothing to sleep in, but I found extra sheets in the room, so I wrapped them around myself and got into the small bed, holding the sheets to myself, pretending that they were Jack.

"Goodnight Jack," I whispered into the duvet, longing for it to be him, to be feeling his new warmth.

"It's just 'til morning," I whispered again, to reassure myself.

I couldn't sleep, eventually the gentle vibrating of the ship stopped, we were no longer moving, I crushed my head into the pillow and slowly fell asleep.

**Ciaran's POV (as requested) **

I sat on my bed with Thomas, the moon being the only lighting in my room apart from his gentle glow. We had been to see Rachel today, as we did everyday.

"He'll look after her," Thomas told me softly,

"I know, he's brave, he's a hero," I whispered back,

"And he loves her, he will protect her no matter what," Thomas replied,

"What if she never wakes up? She can't even know that we are there, even when we hold her hand or anything." I hissed, tears bubbling to my eyes again.

"I swear I will always look after you, Ciaran, I will always be with you, I am your angel and if Rachel never wakes I promise that when it is your time to go to Heaven, I will help you find her again and you can always be together, as brother and sister should be." He informed me, his gentle accent and kind eyes extremely reassuring.

"Thank you," I replied.

The house had been really quiet without her, mum and dad were always upset, they didn't speak much anymore, so I spent most of my time in my room with Mr Andrews, just talking and talking, or else I would go to see Rachel, even though it hurt me to see how quiet and still she was, or go to a museum, I always had to go to quiet places, so that I could think. Thomas would always come with me, one day I was walking around the town and he showed me his old house, where he had lived with his wife, that's when I knew that he knew what sadness felt like, he had been separated from his wife forever, the same way that I was separated from my sister. Thomas always understood what I was going through, he was the best friend that I could ever ask for, but I still wanted my big sister back. She had always been there for me and I wanted that again.

**Jack's POV**

As I remembered, we arrived in Southampton at around midnight, I was at the wireless when we arrived, the vibrations of the ship stopped. In the morning we would be able to get a look about. I looked over at Harry, sleeping in the little bed, he had forgotten to pull the curtain, his mouth hung open and his hair flopped over one eye, he was snoring quietly.

"Where am I meant to sleep?" I muttered to myself, I was so tired, it had been a very long day and I doubted we would be getting anymore telegraph messages at this time of night.

I took my hat and coat off, setting the hat on the table and wrapping the coat around myself, I stayed in the seat at the signal key, not that sure of what to do. I leaned back in the chair, it was uncomfortable, but due to my tiredness, I was able to fall asleep.

"Jack… Jack!" I heard a voice calling in my ear; it felt like no time had passed, I was still tired,

"What?" I moaned,

My face was crushed against the table, I must have moved in my sleep,

"Good morning, old man!" the voice called again,

I looked up, my face hurting from the way that I had been sleeping, I knew my face must be red and raw looking, Harry Bride's beaming face was looking at me, he slapped me on the shoulder.

"Good night's sleep?" he asked with a smile,

I gave him a withering look, but then I couldn't help but smile,

"We are going to have to work out a timetable for who works and who sleeps," I told him, hoping that this wouldn't happen again.

"Well," he smiled, "You don't have to worry about it for a bit, I going off to see my family for a bit, I'll be back before we set sail, so don't you be worrying about that!"

"You make sure you have a nice time, Harry," I informed him,

"Of course I will! Need to see my fiancée too, she always misses me so much when I go away!" he smiled, his eyes filled with the joys of young love.

Then I remembered something, but it was pushed out of my thoughts by Rachel running into the room, she was wearing the same clothes as she had been yesterday, only today she looked a bit messier.

"Jack," she looked worried, "I'm going to have to get clean clothes!"

"We can do that today," I told her, "don't worry about it, did you sleep well?"

"Better than you, I should think!" she laughed,

I attempted to flatten my hair a bit,

"I will change my clothes before we head out," I told her,

"You're lucky you have anything to change into!" she laughed, "You still look a bit tired,"

"You'd think I hadn't slept in one hundred years," I smiled,

I changed into the other uniform I had, the plan was that Rachel would go and buy the things she wanted and we would meet up again near the Titanic, I had a few things that I wanted to see to. I washed my face furiously in the bathroom, it had been so long since I had had to do anything like this, being alive was so much effort, I feared that Rachel wouldn't find me as attractive seeing as how I had forgotten how to live. Harry had a comb, so I attempted to fix my hair, it was all very frustrating. I rubbed toothpaste on my teeth, remembering that a toothbrush was another thing that I should buy. I helped Rachel lace up her corset, as she could not do it herself,

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" I asked,

"Like you could," she tried to sneer, but I could hear the laughter in her voice.

**Rachel's POV**

We left the ship with Harry, who looked like he was in an extreme hurry, he hugged me and Jack to him, saying about how soon he hoped to see us, his new friends.

Jack promised to meet me back by the ship within an hour, there were barriers attempting to stop people from getting close to the ship, but it was the early morning and already people had crowded to see the world's biggest ship. I pulled the coins out of my shoe and headed off into the town. There were trams travelling up and down the main street, I had lost Jack in the crowds next to the ship, but I was not worried. Firstly I bought new knickers, as wearing the same ones two days in a row was not something I wanted to do, then new stockings and a toothbrush. I caught my reflection in a window and I was slightly shocked, I looked quite a mess, Jack should have told me! So bought a hairbrush and quickly attempted to brush my hair, before putting my hat back on, people looked at me in a dismissive way, all the ladies looked so glamorous compared to me, I slunk back in the direction of the ship, not caring to stay in this town centre any longer this day. My shoes were rubbing blisters on my feet, so I was quite slow, as I had to hobble my way back. Over the past hour some of the crowd had left, I walked up and leaned against the railing, remaining close to its gate so that Jack would be able to find me easily. Also near the gate was a girl who looked only a few years older than me, I caught her sneaking glances at me, taking in my appearance, perhaps she wanted to be dismissive as well, she was certainly better dressed than me, her long brown hair in a complicated knot above her head, she wore a light cardigan over a dress of deep blue, it did not look like appropriate wear for the port. I caught her looking at me again,

"Can I help you?" I asked, sick of her looking at me with her nose slightly turned up,

She slowly walked over to me, swaying with each step, in an attempt to seem attractive, but it was wasted on me, to me it just looked like she was having difficulty walking. She stood in front of me, checking over her shoulder every couple of seconds.

"Excuse me?" I said, as she had not spoken yet,

"Ah yes," she stared at me, her green eyes looked slightly angry, she was wearing an extremely pale looking make-up, making her look quite ill.

I nodded at her to continue,

"I like your hat," she said, curling her lip up, "It looks quite… familiar,"

I felt protective of my new-found job,

"It is the hat of a Marconi wireless operator!" I said proudly,

"Oh, I know that," she said with a sneering smile,

I felt a hand take mine from the side, I looked up and saw Jack, he was facing away from me and this mysterious lady,

"Let's go, Rachel," he whispered, I could hear worry in his voice,

"Oh don't be like that!" the lady cried out,

She rushed forward and grabbed the lapels of Jack's coat,

"Don't be like that!" she repeated with a sneer,

I stepped away from Jack, who was this woman?

"I won't be treated with such coldness, Jack Phillips!" she sneered,

I could see annoyance and panic flicker across Jack's face, I thought that nothing could scare him, but apparently this young woman could. She held to his lapels, bringing her face towards his, he was trying to pull away.

"Jack!" I hissed, "Who is this woman?"

She turned and looked at me with a smug smile on her face,

"Tell her, Jack," she whispered, an irritating purr in her voice, she looked very satisfied with herself,

Jack looked at me; I could see the pleading look in his eyes, he looked from me to her, he looked deeply ashamed.

He sighed, "Rachel, this is Katherine Rex, my fiancée."

**A/N: My longest chapter yet, I'm proud! Reviews and stuff! **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks to Number 1 fan, you're really sweet **

**Chapter 22**

**Rachel's POV**

I was taken aback; I must have stood there, looking at them in shock for a minute. Katherine was smiling, she just looked so pleased with herself, she removed herself from Jack and turned to face me, and Jack came and stood beside me.

"So what is she?" Katherine sneered, motioning to me,

"What do you mean?" Jack asked,

"Is she your whore or something?" she leered,

I wanted to say something, I stepped forward, but Jack set a hand on my shoulder, so I stopped,

"No, she's a Marconi operator, like me," Jack said calmly,

Katherine pointed accusingly at Jack,

"You and that stupid job! You could have been an accountant or a solicitor and kept me well, but instead you are always out on the ocean and…"

"I like being away in different places," Jack smiled at Katherine, "because it means that I can get away from you."

She growled at him, the anger building up in her face,

"Let's go, Rachel," Jack said, taking my arm,

We went to walk past her when she caught my arm,

"You think you can take my fiancé from me?" she hissed,

"No," I said softly, "I don't have to."

With that she was stunned, she just watched us as we walked away from her, I knew that she would be wondering what that meant, but in a few days time, she would find out.

"I had told you about her," Jack told me as we re-entered the ship,

"I know you did," I replied,

"I really didn't expect her to be there," Jack said honestly, as we stood in one of the empty corridors, our voices echoing along the white walls.

"I thought you knew everything that's going to happen, surely everything is the same as the real thing!" I said, suddenly confused and worried,

"That's what I had thought too, but maybe things have changed…" he trailed off, he looked pale and worried,

"Don't worry about it, Jack," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder and looking into his eyes, "everything's going to be okay,"

I instantly regretted saying that; he looked away from me,

"How can everything be okay when I have to die?" he asked quietly,

"What if you don't have to, what if…" I started, but he cut me off,

"There are not enough lifeboats for everyone, you know that, what right have I to live when so many people must die, and anyway it's happened before, so it must happen again," he said, still not looking back at me,

I took my hand off him and we stood in silence for a couple of minutes, I decided to turn and walk off, I was hungry and I wanted to change my clothes, I didn't hear Jack following. I opened the door to the maid's room and set my bags down next to my bed, I quickly changed into my new items. I sighed and sat on the bed, wondering what I was going to do. I was worried that me and Jack would be on bad terms now, he seemed really stressed out and sad, but then again, what must it feel like to know that you have to die? I lay back on the bed; I hadn't bothered to make it that morning, so the sheets were tossed. I felt so useless and that I would never be able to help him.

**Jack's POV**

As soon as she walked away, I realised how cold I had been to her, she walked away quickly, her eyes facing downward, and I instantly felt like a really awful person. I went to the kitchen, where the chefs were practising making food for the voyage. They looked surprised to see me, as few people were staying on the ship.

"Can I have something to eat?" I asked,

"Of course," a kind man with a moustache smiled,

I remembered him, Charles Joughin, one of the few people who ended up in the water that survived, he climbed onto Collapsible B, a lifeboat that ended up floating upside-down after the sinking, I managed to get to that lifeboat as well, only I was not as lucky as him, he did not know that we would be repeating those horrible events in only a few days.

"Could you give me enough for two people?" I asked him as he prepared food onto plates,

He nodded, in a couple of minutes he handed me two plates of fine bread and jam, along with a pot of tea and two cups, all set on a silver tray. I thanked him, before setting off to find Rachel. I knew that she would be in her room, I balanced the tray in one hand and opened the door of the maid's room with the other, she was lying on the bed in the far corner, her eyes closed, maybe she was asleep?

"Rachel," I called out,

She sat up quickly and wiped her eyes, she had been crying,

"I brought food," I said, with a kind smile,

She smiled as well, I walked over to her with the tray and I sat down next to her, I poured the tea and we sipped it quietly,

"I'm sorry about earlier," I said,

"It's really hard…" she said slowly, "to accept that you have to die, I don't know how I'm meant to cope with it, I just wanted us always to be together, now I have to let you die."

"It's going to be difficult for a lot of people," I said, "I'll make sure that you are safe, as I have always promised that I would."

"Okay, we'll just take it as it comes," she said, looking into my eyes, I knew that she was trying her hardest to be brave.

We were both extremely hungry so the food came as a much needed relief, we drank all the tea, it revived us. I set the dishes back on the tray.

"I will leave this back to the kitchen," I said, going to stand up,

"Sure we can both go," she smiled,

Once more we set off into the maze of corridors, it nearly seemed like this ship was meant to be confusing, as if people were meant to get lost in the twisting and similar corridors. We handed the dishes back to Chef Joughin, who nodded kindly to us, he would be the last survivor to leave the Titanic, boozed up and warm, he would spend most of the night in the water, but would live to tell the tale.

**Rachel's POV**

We left the kitchen, or galley as they call it on a ship. Jack looked at me, with his usual jaunty smile on his face,

"What should we do?" he asked,

"Well, we aren't leaving the ship today, for fear that your horrible fiancée is there," I started, this made Jack smile,

"I know she's awful," Jack smiled, looking slightly embarrassed, "but I didn't chose her and she didn't chose me, in these days, parents have a lot more control over their children that what you would be used to."

I nodded, understanding him fully, my parents never really tried to control me; they always told me what they thought was best, but they would never try and force anything on me, especially not a marriage! I missed them, it hurt me how much I missed them, like a burning in my heart.

"We could go up on deck again," he suggested,

"Yes, I would like to have a better look about!" I replied.

This world may have not been real, but I was still fascinated by it, Jack and I left the indoors viva the officer's quarters, he admired the small lifeboat on the roof of it.

"Collapsible B," he said, looking from the boat to me,

"Yes…" I replied,

"I die on this boat," he said bluntly, before looking away.

Jack had started to show so many signs of being scared of what was to come and there was nothing I could do to reassure him, we both knew that he had to die, there was nothing we could do to stop it, the lady in white said I had to survive the sinking, which meant that I couldn't prevent the sinking from happening, I felt so useless. Jack showed me to the stern of the ship, the curving end of the ship, pure white railings running along it and signs of warning informing us that this was where the propellers were located. The town of Southampton looked as a busy Edwardian port should, horses and carts and trams hurrying up and down the cobbled streets, but on the ship you were separated from it all.

"I'm sorry that I can't help you, Jack," I told him, wanting him to know that if I could change things, I would,

"It doesn't matter now," he said, leaning against the railings beside me, "I'm sure I will get used to the idea of dying again, we had been so caught up in everything that had been happening, that I didn't stop to think what it really meant, I had tried to forget about the bitter cold that killed me, but now I remember it all, I remember the painful scramble in the water, nothing beneath my feet, the painful cold and all the screaming… I…"

I silenced him with a kiss, we pulled apart again,

"Always remember that I love you, I will find you again, no matter if we are apart, I will find you," I told him, "when I get to the gates of Heaven, I want to see you standing there."

"Of course," he said, he looked like he may cry,

I took him in my arms, leaning my head against his chest and his head on my shoulder; I could feel that he had to bend down a bit.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I whispered,

"And never forget that I love you too," he whispered back,

The sound of the sea and the town were ignored as I held him close to me.

"I could never forget you, every day for forever, I will think of you," I whispered.

**Jack's POV**

I was trying not to be nervous for Rachel's sake, but it all bubbled over, I had kept my feelings to myself whilst I was alive, never letting anyone know how I felt about anything, now that I had a second chance I wanted to change that, Rachel deserves to know if I'm scared. We would be able to spend that night together, since Harry was away and no one would know. I brushed my teeth with the new toothbrush that I had bought, I heard the door of the Marconi room clunk closed and I knew it must be Rachel. The room was dimly lit, but I could still see her,

"Jack," she whispered, "I have nothing to sleep in,"

"We can share a bed," I replied,

"Not like that," I heard her giggle, "I mean I have no sleeping clothes,"

"Aw, that doesn't matter!" I laughed,

"Jack!" she hissed,

"I was joking!" I laughed, "I bought spare shirts in the town today, you can sleep in one of them, that's what I'm doing!"

I pulled the shirts out of the bag, without a care she pulled her dress off,

"Help me unlace this," she said, turning her back on me,

I gently undid the laces, revealing her bare skin, she snatched the shirt up and buttoned it quickly up, she set her hat on the desk. I could see her knickers under the shirt, before quickly turning away, knowing that I shouldn't be looking. She got into the bed and pulled the curtain, so that I had the privacy to get changed. The bed was very small; it wasn't as big as her bed at home, so it was a tight squeeze. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Goodnight, Jack," she whispered,

"Goodnight," I replied,

So we slept in each other's arms, a feeling so beautiful I never could have imagined.

**A/N: More tomorrow It had been hard because the house computer isn't working, so I have to borrow my brother's laptop and he is not one bit pleased about it.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks to classicmovielover, TitanicGrrl and number 1 fan (don't be stressed XD) again , I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, laptop had a virus -_-, but here is the next chapter, suggestions and comments are greatly welcomed.**

**Chapter 23**

**Rachel's POV**

"You have to go," Jack said kindly, yet his face was stern, worry weighing down on his handsome features.

There were people rushing about behind him, we were on the deck, I looked behind me, the lifeboats were being launched, I looked back to Jack, knowing that there must be an expression of panic on my face.

"Fate demands this, Rachel," he said, gently pushing me towards the nearest boat,

I could hear the band playing, the strains of the violin filling the air, so oddly contrasting to the situation,

"Orpheus In The Underworld," I told Jack, worry making me say things, "I saw it when I was younger!"

"I know, but you have to go," he said finally, his blue eyes stern, he seemed quite heartless,

"Women and children only," I heard Lightoller say,

He caught my hand and lifted me into the boat, terrified and sad looking women already crowded into it, Lightoller smiled kindly back at me as I sat down, I glanced back at Jack, he waved before turning and walking away, back to the Marconi room.

"Jack!" I screamed, attempting to stand up, but a crewman pushed me back down gently.

I watched as he disappeared into the crowd of worried looking people, the funnels were still heaving out smoke, but the deck was developing a strong list.

"Come back!" I moaned, even though he would never be able to hear me,

"Quiet, Miss Rachel, everything will be okay," Lightoller said with a forced smile,

He nodded to the men at the davits and the lifeboat juddered, starting to move downwards,

"No!" I screamed, "I can't... Jack... I won't!"

I sat up quickly, nearly pushing Jack out of the bed, he was still asleep, the gentleness of his sleeping expression calmed me, he stirred slightly, letting out a little groan, but he didn't wake. It was dark, but light was creeping in through the skylight, I was against the wall and one of Jack's legs was hanging out of the bed, my bare thigh rested against his. I leaned back on him, nestling my head into his shoulder, it had been a horrible dream, it was even worse now that I knew that it was really going to happen. His warmth was comforting, but I still felt nervous and sickly.

"Rachel..." I heard Jack mutter quietly, "are you okay?"

"No, Jack," I replied quietly, "I'm not."

**Jack's POV**

I woke up because I felt her moving about; there wasn't enough room for that sort of thing. Her dark hair rubbed against my shoulder, causing me to wake up. She informed me that she wasn't okay.

"I had a bad dream," she whispered quietly, nervously rubbing her eyes like a child would,

"It's over now, sweetheart," I told her, my arm around her,

"No it's not, it hasn't even happened yet!" she hissed, her tears reflecting the little light that there was in the room,

"Oh no, Rachel," I moaned, leaning back, "don't tell me that you were dreaming about..."

"I was dreaming about..." she started,

"Shush, I already know, Titanic, Titanic, Titanic," I said kissing her cheek, "We are both worried, I know, but we need to try and remain calm, we are the only people here that know what is going to happen, but we need to pretend that we don't."

"Oh Jack, I just want to stay with you, live my life with you, now that I've seen you alive, seen how you must have been, I just want it to be this way, I can't go back now," she said with passion,

"But you have to, this is why we're here," I said as I got out of the bed,

She lay facing the wall, so I used this as an opportunity to get dressed, she knew that this is what we had to do, she had to survive the sinking to get her life back and I had to die, that was the way that it had to be, it wasn't our choice. She got out of the bed quietly, her hair messy and her eyes tired, the shirt hung over her small frame, her slim white legs protruding from under it.

"I'll get us breakfast, if you want to get dressed," I said quietly as I opened the door,

"Yeah, yeah," she said, pushing her hair back from her face,

I nodded and left the room, hoping that she would be in better form when I got back, I really didn't want her to be upset.

**Rachel's POV**

I struggled into my clothes, doing a better job of it than I had done yesterday; I then sat down on the bed to think.

"I can't do this," I thought aloud, "I told him I would, but maybe we could just stay in Southampton, I can't..."

"But Rachel!" I heard a musical voice call out,

I turned to look at whoever had spoken, even though I already knew who it would be,

"Hello again," the lady in white smiled,

"Hello," I said awkwardly, unsure of how to react to her, I hated her but I didn't want to be rude at the same time,

"You can't give up, Rachel, you have to do this," she said, her voice raising at the end of her sentence, "and you know why?"

"Why?" I asked, wondering if she was threatening me,

"If you don't sail on the Titanic, I will make your precious little brother end up in a coma as well," she smiled,

In my mind I saw Ciaran's happy face, his big blue eyes, my little brother. I looked away from the lady, unable to put up with her strangely happy expression anymore,

"And don't think that I wouldn't!" she laughed, "I mean, why else would you be here?"

"Okay," I glared, "I'll sail on the Titanic,"

"Until it sinks," she reminded me, as if I didn't already know,

"Yes, of course," I replied,

"I knew you could be won over to reason!" she laughed before fading away, as she always did, like she was never there at all.

That was it, I would have to sail on the Titanic, I couldn't risk Ciaran, there was no way that I could risk him, I couldn't let him get hurt because of me. Jack came back in to the room. I smiled up at him, he handed me a cup of tea and I started to drink it, he sat next to me, not saying anything.

"I'm feeling better now," I told him quietly,

"Good," he looked relieved.

The rest of the time spent in Southampton was very peaceful, we didn't encounter Katherine Rex again, and we often went into the town on walks, not buying anything, just enjoying the company of each other. The evening of the eighth came far more quickly than I thought it would.

"The eighth of April," Jack whispered in my ear as we sat on the bed together,

I nodded,

"Harry gets back tomorrow, so this is out last night of sharing a bed," I could hear more than a hint of sadness in his voice,

"Indeed," I replied, climbing into the bed,

I could see his eyes being caught by the sight of my legs as pulled the sheets around me, the top buttons of my shirt undone, exposing hints of my young skin. He would look at me, then hastily look away, as if he were reconsidering something. He climbed onto the bed next to me, looking me in the eyes,

"What is it?" I asked, a smile forming on my lips,

"This is our last night in the same bed," he whispered,

"Yes..." I said, hoping that I was guessing his thoughts correctly,

"I forgot to switch off the light," he muttered, looking annoyed,

Jack got out of the bed and switched the light out, now the moon was the only light, he climbed back in bed beside me again. The whiteness of his skin made him visible, I stroked his dark hair with my hand. He kissed me without saying anything, his tongue making my lips part, I felt myself let out a gentle sigh, his hands caressed my hair, I kept kissing him, enjoying the moment so much. He stopped for a second,

"I love you, Rachel," he whispered,

"I love you too, Jack," I replied,

I was in his arms, wrapping my legs around him, he kissed my exposed collar bone, I kissed the end of his nose and giggled. He started to laugh too.

"I never imagined myself in this situation," he said, sounding extremely thoughtful, "In bed, kissing a girl who I am guardian angel to, in the past, only the past isn't real!"

"Oh, I know," I laughed, kissing him, "I never imagined being in love with a dead Marconi officer or being in bed with said Marconi officer on the RMS Titanic,"

"Oh, who would, Rachel?" he whispered, "Who would?"

"Jack?" I leaned back a bit, so that I could speak with him,

"Yes?" he replied,

"Don't you think you should have seen your family since you could have?" I asked,

"No," he replied, sounding certain, "There would be no point, I will be seeing them when I get to Heaven anyway."

He was right, so there was nothing I could say, he leaned up and kissed me again, I set my head on his shoulder again. He kissed my hair, I put my arms around his neck, I felt one warm hand on my thigh, I felt myself raising an eyebrow, I felt his hand move up my leg a bit, unable to help myself I let out a laugh,

"I'm sorry," Jack spluttered, quickly removing his hand from my leg and putting it on my back instead,

"It's okay," I said, kissing next to his mouth, willing him to kiss me again, of course he did, gently at first, then opening his mouth, his tongue touching mine, the slight tilt of our heads so that we didn't bang noses, as I had done with Chris once. His kisses causing me to sigh with happiness with each slow movement of his gentle lips. His hands in my hair, on my back, the warmth of him was beautiful. My hair tickled his face; I ran my hands through his hair. This is what love was always meant to feel like. All I could think of was Jack, my eyes closed, but his image burnt through anyway, I could never forget him; he would stay in my mind forever.

"Our last night alone," he whispered between kisses,

In all my heart I wished that it didn't have to be.

**A/N: I'm going on holiday for a week, so there will be no updates until I get back, sorry I'm going to Donegal, exciting, I know! Nothing Titanic related there unfortunately! But for the first eight years of my life I lived in Belfast, where the great ship herself was built, that's why I know so much about it XD. Reviews and stuff are appreciated, have a nice week sweethearts. **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Just back from holiday. Thank you to Liz-04, I am pleased to be writing about a crew member, they are so under used in fan fiction, I'm glad you think my story is different, because some people said I was copying at the start, which I wasn't and never would. Number 1 fan, you are so sweet and I did have a good holiday , classicmovielover, thanks for the review, judder is a great word when it comes to ships.**

**Chapter 24**

**Rachel's POV**

I heard a thudding, I turned my head and buried it in Jack's shoulder, then I heard the thudding again, causing me to let out a little groan.

"Is that someone at the door?" Jack asked, his voice tired,

I opened my eyes just as he was straining to open his,

"Hello!" I heard a voice call from the other side of the door,

"Harry," I informed Jack,

"I didn't know he would be back so early," Jack exclaimed as we both got out of the bed,

"Open the door, Jack!" Harry called,

"Wait a minute!" Jack called back to him,

We both got dressed quickly and opened the door to our friend with beaming smiles, He was carrying breakfast on a tray and he had bags around his feet,

"Help me in with this, could you?" he asked, "I had to get some officers to help me carry it all up."

Jack and I carried the bags in as Harry set the tray on the desk,

"Ah, hello Rachel!" he smiled, "didn't expect to see you in here!"

I laughed awkwardly as Jack poured us all cups of tea; Harry sat down on the bed holding a piece of toast.

"The town is so crowded today!" he exclaimed between bites,

"I would expect so," Jack replied, leaning against the table, his blue eyes glowing above the tea cup.

"Have you had a nice week?" Harry asked to me,

"Yes, of course," I smiled, "and you?"

He let out a laugh, "Yes! I brought some things back with me too!"

I went to look in one of the bags but he caught my hand before I had the chance,

"No looking yet!" he warned playfully, "we should go into town for a bit,"

I nodded silently in agreement.

**Jack's POV**

"I've bought your birthday present!" Rachel giggled, holding up something wrapped in brown paper,

"Can I see it?" I asked,

"Not until your birthday!" she scolded with a giggle.

We had been out in the town for quite a while, it had taken a long time to get anywhere past all the people who were now crowding the small streets. Rachel had gone off to buy me a present, so Harry and I had got to chat for a bit, he had told me about how nice it had been to see his family, his fiancée, his hometown, but he was glad to be back. There was little I could say as I had not been to see my family and I had seen my fiancée, but it wasn't an enjoyable experience, but of course I didn't tell Harry this, I told him about exploring the ship with Rachel and the other things that we had got up to. He listened to everything I said as we wandered around the winding streets, avoiding busy people and trams, before heading back to the ship with Rachel and the present that she had bought me. Rachel wouldn't let me back into the wireless room until she had hidden the present,

"Can't have you finding it," she smiled when she finally opened the door to me and Harry,

Harry gleefully went over to the bags that he had brought with him,

"This will help make those long hours at the wireless more bearable," he said with a giddy smile,

He pulled out a glass bottle of darkly coloured alcohol and several packets of cigarettes, I smiled back at him, he threw me a packet of matches and a cigarette, I struck the match after sliding the cigarette into my mouth and lit it. I looked over and saw Rachel's shocked face.

"But Jack! You don't..." she started,

"I do," I smiled back as I inhaled,

Harry looked confused, "How have you kept it a secret from her?"

"I never really had the opportunity to smoke around her, to be honest," I explained,

"Okay," Harry nodded, pretending to understand as he took a drag of his cigarette,

"It's really bad for you..." Rachel started,

I gave her a look reminding her that it didn't matter, though hindsight is a blessing as Harold Bride did eventually die of lung cancer, though looking at him now death would be hard to imagine.

"The band will probably be practising now," Harry informed us, "we could go and listen to them!"

"That sounds lovely!" Rachel said with a smile,

"Just let me finish this first," I said, exhaling smoke into the room, the light from the skylight making it look like fog floating towards the ceiling.

**Rachel's POV**

We went along to the reception room; it was a large room with delicately decorated white walls. Jack and I now knew the way to it after all our days of exploring the ship. The band stood in the corner, in front of the piano, Hartley, the bandmaster, was tuning his violin. Some of the other crew members had also gathered in here to listen to their music.

"Are you ready?" Hartley asked his fellow musicians, a kind smile on his face,

They gave him nods and Jack walked up to him and whispered in his ear, Hartley smiled back at him. Jack walked back to me and led me to the centre of the floor.

"What song is it?" I asked him as he took me in his arms,

"Valse Septembre," he said in a fake French accent, a smile on his lips.

I smiled at the silliness of it, Jack was so sweet. The violin started gently, an undertone of piano glittering beneath it, the music strangely sad and haunting as Jack led me around the floor. I felt the eyes on me as I followed my love's sure steps. I saw officers turn and speak to each other quietly as the mournful strings sang out, the tune changing to sad piano music. It was such a beautiful song. The musicians expressing each note perfectly as Jack held my hands, his face inches from mine, the song ended too soon and I walked with Jack over to the side of the room where Harold was standing. The officers all gave a quiet applause to our dancing; I smiled politely to whoever I made eye contact with, all well-dressed officers of the ship.

"That was lovely," Harry smiled, "But it seemed a bit sad, you should have done something a bit more upbeat!"

"Like what?" Jack asked, looking slightly annoyed at this insult to his choice of song,

"Like this!" Harry said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the middle of the room,

"Harry!" I tried to protest, but his smile silenced me,

He took his hat off and tossed it to Jack who caught it,

"Titsy Bitsy Girl," Harry said, smiling to the band, "please!"

They nodded and started to play, with a jolt Harry pulled me into his arms. The song was a lot happier sounding and faster, the violin happy and singing and low undertones of double bass. Harry was a lot more lively with his dancing, turning me so fast I nearly fell, I heard him laugh at me, but I attempted to ignore him and try to remain on my feet.

"Not used to this, are you?" he laughed while the music paused for a second,

"No," I panted, "not really!"

He laughed again as the ragtime music started again, more powerful than before, my hands clasped around his as he stepped and twirled quickly. By the time the song was finished I was exhausted and dizzy, yet Harry seemed unfazed.

"Have fun?" Harry asked as we walked back over to Jack,

"Yes, yes!" I replied, gasping for breath,

Jack helped me sit down in one of the chairs,

"I'm not that delicate, you know!" I giggled, even though I was enjoying his attention,

"I know," he said gently,

"That was a bit more up to speed, don't you think?" Harry asked as he flopped down on the chair next to me,

"Yes, Harry," I smiled,

The band were now playing 'The Blue Danube' and I leaned back in the chair, Jack's hand found its way onto mine. I closed my eyes, letting the music relax me.

"Remember that we still have things to do!" I heard Lightoller call, I opened my eyes,

"We'd better get back to the wireless room," Jack smiled, "we might as well look like we are doing something!"

There was nothing to be done in the Marconi room, and besides I thought that Harry and Jack would like some time together to further develop their friendship, so I went to the room where I had slept when I first got to Titanic, as I would have to spend the rest of my nights on the ship here. There were other girls there now, all of them attempting to unpack their things, I went to my bed in the corner, attempting to make it, so that it didn't look as messy. I was struggling with the sheets,

"Crap," I swore quietly, as the sheets were tangled, the duvet tossed and knotted around the under sheet,

"Need some help?" I heard a polite voice ask, her accent slightly Irish,

I looked up to see a pretty girl with dark hair and kind eyes; she looked a few years older than me. She looked a lot neater than me, her brown hair swept up under a little white hat, a clean apron covering her black dress.

"Yes, thank you," I said with relief,

She helped me sort the sheets out, untangling them skilfully with her quick hands,

"I'm used to this sort of thing," she explained, "I was a stewardess on the Olympic as well, that is this ship's sister ship, this ship's bigger apparently, but nothing that I can't handle,"

I nodded,

She extended her hand to me once she was finished fixing my bed, "My name is Violet Jessop by the way, but call me Jessie,"

I shook her hand, "Nice to meet you, Jessie, my name is Rachel Given,"

"It is good to meet you Rachel," she smiled, "It will be a long voyage ahead of us, it would be good to have a friend, it gets very lonely out at sea, don't you think? Nothing to see at all, apart from lots of water,"

"Indeed," I replied, "Though I doubt the voyage will be that long."

**A/N: That's all for today, but sailing day is tomorrow, so we can all be excited about that, I think.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Got to go to Belfast today! Yay! Got a tour of the BBC building, which was really cool and I got to see the new part of the Titanic memorial outside the city hall, apparently it is the only Titanic memorial in the world to have the names of everyone that died that night on it, of course I found the name of one rather heroic wireless operator. In reply to classicmovielover, Violet Jessop was on the Olympic when it crashed into a smaller ship, the HMS, she was on the Titanic when it sank and the Britannic when it sank, bad luck eh? Oh my sweet Number 1 fan, I am so sorry that you don't get to go to the Ekka, I had to look up what it was, we have similar things in Ireland , hope my chapters keep you happy! This author's note has been awfully long, I should shut up now.**

**Chapter 25**

**Rachel's POV**

Violet took me to the maid's bathroom and helped me wash my hair over the bath, I had attempted this during the week, but she was much better at it than I was.

"You have to look presentable for sailing day!" she informed me, pretending to be stern as she scrubbed my hair.

"Of course, Violet," I replied, wiping water from my eyes,

"Jessie!" she reminded me, "Who would want their name to be a colour?"

"Well..." I started,

"Shh, you!" she said as she tipped water over me, the shock of cold water making me fall silent.

She pulled me away from the bath and squeezed some of the water out of my hair before rubbing it with a towel.

"Better now!" she announced, sounding proud of the work that she had done,

"Yes," I smiled, "need to look good for tomorrow!"

After I dried off, we went for a walk on deck, it was nice to have a friend who was a girl again, she was a calming presence and always ready to listen,

"I can tell this is your first time sailing?" she asked as we watched the people of Southampton go about their lives from the deck of the ship,

"Yes," I replied, "but there's more to it than that,"

"Tell me," she said, her eyes demanding the truth,

"I can't," I told her,

"What is it? Run away from home, escaped an abusive husband? What is it?" she asked,

"No! Nothing like that," I said, shaking my head at her,

"You will have to tell me sometime!" she said, sounding so knowing,

"Maybe," I replied, trying to sound mysterious, "maybe."

**Jack's POV**

The evening rolled in quickly, I had spent the whole day with Harry, he was always fun and cracking jokes.

"Haven't seen much of Rachel today," I said, trying not to make it too obvious that I was worried,

"Ah, Jack, what are you worrying about?" laughed Harry, swinging around in the wheeled chair at the table next to me, "I saw her out on deck with some maid, I think she must have made a friend!"

"A friend?!" I said, sounding unintentionally shocked,

"Yeah!" Harry smiled, "you sound like you doubt her!"

"I don't doubt her," I paused, "It's just..."

He cut me off, "She might not need you as much as you think!"

I glared at him, what he had just said was a bit too close to the heart,

"I was joking!" he said with a laugh, "I'm sure she needs you lots and lots, what girl could resist your charms?"

Before I could rebuke my friend, Rachel clattered into the room, the door swinging on its hinges, she avoided it hitting her.

"Hey Jack!" she said, outstretching her arms to me, a beaming smile on her face,

I stood up and embraced her, Harry let out a snort of laughter,

"Oh the romance!" he called out, leaning back in his chair and letting out a sigh,

Rachel raised an eyebrow and looked over at him; he looked up at her and winked. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the corridor and shut the door behind us.

"I just wanted to say goodnight..." she started, the shyness in her voice obvious,

"I want you to say more than that," I smiled, hoping to seem seductive, it made her smile anyway,

The corridor was a deep orange colour due to the setting sun and Rachel's smile warmed my heart,

"You need me, don't you?" I asked quietly, concern in my voice,

"So clingy, Jack!" she giggled as she set her head on my shoulder, "Of course I need you!"

I kissed the top of her head, she smelt sweet and soapy,

"Jessie helped me wash my hair," I heard her laugh,

I ran my hands through her dark tresses,

"You look truly lovely, Rachel, is Jessie your new friend?" I asked,

"Yes, yes!" she chirped,

I kissed her quickly before she was finished speaking, she giggled,

"Sailing day tomorrow," she murmured,

"Don't think about it," I whispered, trying to be reassuring,

"Okay..." she trailed off, "I should go to bed now..."

She turned to walk away but I caught her hand and pulled her back into my arms.

"Can't escape that easily," I said, putting on a sinister voice,

"Oh no!" she giggled, pretending to be scared,

"Shh, shh!" I said, putting my finger to her lips,

"Okay..." she whispered, her eyes bright in the evening light.

We both knew that we would kiss, yet we kept our faces inches apart for a few minutes yet, scanning the faces of each other, her pointed nose, bright brown eyes, curling black hair and a gentle blush on her cheeks. I pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, she glanced down, I slid a finger along her jaw line, raising her face so that she would look at me.

"Rachel..."

She stopped me with a kiss, reaching up towards me, pulling me down towards her; I knew she would have to be standing on her toes. She tilted her head, opening her mouth and kissing me so sweetly it made me so weak at the knees, her gentle sighs delighted me and her gentle mouth entranced me. I was bending to her touch as I could not resist, so caught up I could not put thoughts together, all there was in my mind was her, she had blinded me to the world around us, as I could not possibly pay attention to anything but her. Sweet Rachel, my lovely girl, my everything. And she was mine, this was what she wanted, she wanted my love, I could feel her pounding heart, how could I pay attention to anything else?

"Excuse me?" I heard a voice call from behind us,

Rachel quickly jumped from my arms and turned to see who had spoken, her expression a combination of shock and embarrassment.

"Mr Lightoller, sir!" she spluttered, her eyes wide and her cheeks red,

He looked past her at me, looking quite angry,

"You should not lead a young lady into disgrace like that, Mr Phillips," he said, raising an eyebrow,

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and I hoped that he couldn't see it,

"I'm sorry, sir," I said, feeling vastly younger, as if I had been caught cheating on a test in school by a teacher,

"Don't let me catch you again," he said with a sigh, "it gives a bad image to White Star; though I expect you Marconi employees feel no loyalty."

I attempted a laugh as he walked away, trying to make light of the situation, but I just sounded awkward. Rachel, like me, was blushing.

"Well, that was embarrassing!" she giggled,

"No, it wasn't!" I exclaimed, attempting to sound confident, like a man should for his lady,

"You're blushing!" she laughed,

"No I'm not!" I said, raising my hands to my cheeks to check for warmth,

"Oh, maybe I am," I laughed after feeling the burning.

"It's sweet though," she laughed, teasing me,

She put her hand to my cheek and felt the warmth; I put my hand on hers.

"I should go to bed now, big day tomorrow!" she whispered,

I watched her lips part in the low light, feeling her gentle breath on my face,

"Yes, of course," I replied, as I knew if I spent much longer with her, I would not be able to bear to see her leave, "see you in the morning,"

She gave me a final quick kiss, but even this caused me to sigh with delight and want to pull her back to me, but she walked away down the corridor, looking over her shoulder at me with a shy smile, she opened the door onto the deck, the wind causing her hair to blow about, and she blew me a final kiss before disappearing out the door. I stood in silence for a moment before II opened the door back into the wireless room; Harry gave me a smile,

"Well?" he asked,

"Well what?" I replied,

"Oh, someone sounds cross!" he laughed,

"I'm sorry," I said, sitting in the seat next to him, "We were... interrupted."

Harry let out a hoot of laughter, "Happens to me all the time! That's one of the risks of romance!"

**Rachel's POV**

I was very embarrassed about Mr Lightoller seeing me and Jack, so I sneaked back to the maid's room, hoping that I wouldn't run into him again, blush rising to my cheeks at the thought of him seeing me like that, I knew I would not be able to look at him straight if I saw him again, which I was sure that I would. Fortunately I got there without encountering anyone, it was late and the ship was quiet. When I entered the room all the other girls were sitting on their beds talking; they glanced up for a second before going back to their conversations, their hushed tones filling the room with their gossip. Jessie greeted me with a smile; I would have to tell her about Jack,

"Where were you?" she asked, she was sitting on her bed combing her hair,

"I was with my..." I hadn't thought about how to put Jack into words before,

"Who?" she looked puzzled,

"I am being courted by one of the wireless operators," I smiled, attempting to sound Edwardian,

"Ah right, is he handsome?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with her imagination,

"Very much so," I smiled.

We continued to converse for a while, but we both knew that we must rest for the next day. Amazingly sleep came very easily for me on this night, I thought I would not be able to sleep for fear of the next day, but the tiredness that I felt meant that I fell quickly to sleep, giving me energy for sailing day, the first day of the biggest adventure of my life, my first day at sea on the RMS Titanic.

**A/N: More tomorrow! The day after that is my exam results, oh dear, wish me luck and review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: To my number 1 fan, it's like the kind of exam that you get grades for and it's all super important and I need it to get into university, it's all very boring. I don't have an Irish accent, I have a Northern Irish accent and that is totally different, Northern Irish accents are horrible.**

**Chapter 26**

**Rachel's POV**

The ship was due to leave Southampton at noon, so we all had to get up very early. Jessie helped me get dressed; I would have helped her, only she didn't need it, she was far too used to this sort of thing. We ate breakfast, then she had to hurry off to help passengers find their rooms and other such things that a stewardess must do. People started boarding the ship at around six in the morning; I stood on deck and watched the milling crowds that had gathered. I stood, leaning at the railing, near the door to the officers' quarters. I could hear the call of seagulls, the traffic, the smell of salt and smoke. The cool metal under my hands and the wind in my hair.

"If only Ciaran could see this..." I muttered to myself, thinking of my sweet little brother, he had always loved Titanic, this would have been an unforgettable experience for him.

The gangways were filling with people attempting to get on the ship; the town looked vibrant in the morning light. Light was reflecting off car windows as people stepped out, they looked so small from this height, but I could see the grand hats of the ladies. I felt a hand on my waist, I smiled to myself,

"Must be Jack," I thought to myself, picturing his handsome face in my mind.

I turned to face him, leather gloved hands finding their way into mine, before I had a chance to look up I felt a kiss on my lips, so quick, it was just a quick peck before he pulled away from me. I opened my eyes, I saw green eyes, blonde hair and I silly grin.

"Harry!" I exclaimed, I knew that my eyes would be wide and my mouth was open in shock.

"Well," he said, his smile widening, "Mr Phillips is on duty at the minute, so I thought his lady might need attending to!"

I found myself laughing with him, even though I should have been annoyed at him.

"Don't tell him though," he said, suddenly serious, "it was just a joke," Harry looked away, "he would be very cross at me,"

"I won't tell him," I giggled, "it was harmless anyway, when does he get off duty anyway?"

"Two o'clock," he replied,

"What?" I exclaimed, "That late?"

"Well, little Rachel," he started, "I work two in the afternoon to eight in the evening, then two in the morning until eight in the morning,"

"Okay," I said, encouraging him to continue,

"And Jack works from eight in the morning until two in the afternoon and then eight in the evening until two in the morning, since it is ten past eight now, Jack is on his shift ," he continued, "you can just be assistant to both of us, I didn't even know you were going to be sailing with us! But I'm sure we can work something out."

"Yes," I smiled, "I expect we can. I didn't know I was going to be sailing either!"

He looked slightly confused and raised an eyebrow,

"Well, okay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

I slipped past Harry and went along the corridor to the Marconi room, I could hear voices behind the door, so I opened it slowly and poked my head around the door, I saw Jack seated at the table, an officer was standing next to him.

"So you have it all ready then?" the officer asked him, his accent Scottish,

"Of course I have," Jack said, sounding annoyed, I knew that he didn't like to be doubted,

I stepped into the room slowly; they hadn't noticed me yet,

"So there will be no errors whilst we are sailing?" the officer continued, he looked as if he was in his late thirties, with dark eyes and a serious expression,

"No, there will be nothing wrong at all, I think you can leave now," Jack said crossly,

Finally Jack noticed me,

"Ah, hello, Rachel," he said as his greeting to me,

"Hello," I replied, giving an awkward wave,

"Officer Murdoch here was just leaving," Jack said sternly, glaring towards the officer,

"And I am glad to be," he replied, glaring back at Jack.

Murdoch slammed the door on the way out,

"Well that was horrible," Jack said, leaning back in his chair,

"What was that about?" I asked, sitting next to him,

"That was first officer Murdoch, he's one of those older officers who is very doubtful of wireless," Jack paused, rolling his eyes, "he wanted to check up on me to make sure I know what I'm doing,"

"But of course you know what you're doing!" I said, smiling at him, "You're the best wireless operator in the world!"

"Indeed," he said, with an attractive smile,

"And the best-looking," I smiled,

"Better than Harry then?" he asked, looking me in the eye,

I blushed, remembering the events of earlier, wondering if Jack knew, "Of course," I smiled,

"He may be younger than me..." Jack paused and smiled, "but I think he lacks my... charms."

"That is very mean, Jack, he's your friend! You should be nicer about him!" I replied,

"I know, I know," he said, sighing softly,

"Will you be able to see the ship leave port on deck with me? Jessie told me that it should be leaving at around noon," I asked,

"Well, Rachel, you seem to have forgotten that the ship gets delayed before leaving port," he said with a mysterious smile,

"What? How?!" I asked,

"Some people think that it was a bad omen..." he trailed off, a devious look in his eyes and his voice low,

"Why, Jack, why?" I said, shaking his shoulders, I needed to know, I vaguely remembered Ciaran saying something about it,

Jack narrowed his blue eyes, "The RMS Titanic went to leave port, as the crowds watched this majestic ship, bigger than any previous man-made movable object, the suction," he showed the movement with his hands, "sucked a smaller ship towards her!" He widened his eyes.

I accidently let out a gasp, this made Jack smile,

"The smaller ship," Jack exclaimed, leaning in towards me, "Was called the New York, the very city that Titanic was sailing for, many took this as an omen that Titanic would never reach that city,"

Jack folded his arms and leaned back, smiling to himself.

"Are you sure that will happen?" I asked quietly,

"Oh very much so," He replied.

After our conversation, Jack slipped his earphones back on, as he had heard some Morse coming out of them, I took this as my signal to leave. I went back out on the deck and continued to watch the world go by again. The deck was getting gradually more filled up, there were loads of people out on the deck, many of them passengers waving goodbye to their families, I suddenly realised that many of these people wouldn't survive and there was nothing that I could do about it. I saw all the smiling faces, excited and nervous, looking forward to their new lives that they believed this ship would lead them to, but they didn't know that this ship was really just leading them to an icy death, I had to look away from the people, knowing that I may cry if I kept looking at them, so I just stared out to the city.

"This will be it now," Harry had come and stood beside me,

He showed me his pocket watch, twelve o'clock, I must have been standing on the deck for hours, I felt the vibrations under my feet and a sickly feeling in my stomach.

"Nervous?" Harry laughed,

"No," I shook my head, but I had to look away from him or else he would know that I was lying to him.

People were calling out goodbyes to their relatives, Harry and I waved at everyone too, our hats in our hands,

"Goodbye! Goodbye Southampton!" I screamed out, even though no one would be able to hear me over the roar of everyone else.

The ship started to move, pulling slowly away from the port; I was looking towards the other boats in the harbour, checking for the New York. Everyone was still calling their goodbyes, but over all the calling I could hear the sound of a rope snap, it sort of sounded like a car misfiring. I leaned over the railing to see, looking towards the stern of Titanic, a smaller ship had broken loose, I started to run aft to get a better look, pushing past people. I looked over the railing again, I saw the name written on the stern of the smaller ship.

"New York," it stated,

I let out a gasp, many people were staring now, some women were screaming. I was leaning far over the railing to see, the stern of the New York looked set to strike the stern of the Titanic. The smaller boats, tugs, that were leading the Titanic out of port moved towards the New York and fastened ropes to it, the water from Titanic's port propeller splashing out and washing the New York back. I let out a sigh of relief as the smaller ship was taken away; it had been a rather scary experience.

"That will be us delayed for a while," sighed an officer from behind me,

"It's a bad omen!" a woman left of me warned another.

I ran back to the Marconi room, avoiding all the people who were milling around the deck, the ship had stopped moving.

"It happened, Jack!" I called out as I ran into the room.

He pulled his earphones off with a smile, "Everything is going to be the same as it was,"

"Is there nothing we can do to change things?" I asked,

"Not really, there's not much point," he said, an extreme calmness on his face,

"Okay," I said, looking away from him,

"Don't be upset about it," he informed me, fiddling with the earphones that were resting around his neck,

"It's difficult," was all that I could say.

The ship finally set sail for Cherbourg, our first port of call at around half one in the afternoon, not long after, Jack got off his shift and we both went out on deck and watched as England faded away into the distance. We arrived in Cherbourg at half six in the evening, we anchored a few miles out at sea, but we could still see the French town in the distance, the lights of the houses making it visible.

"It's lovely, Jack," I whispered, the lights of the town and the ship reflected off the water.

We had spent the last few hours on deck, leaving Harry to tend to the wireless, I felt slightly bad for this, but I had wanted to spend these hours with Jack with the wind in our hair and feeling the speed of the ship, watching the wake of the water behind us.

"It's my birthday tomorrow," he said quietly, a slight smile on his lips,

"I know, I wouldn't forget!" I said, embracing him,

"I can't wait to see my present!" he said with a laugh,

"It's nothing that exciting!" I replied shyly.

We watched the two tenders carrying the passengers from the port to the ship, the tenders were called the Traffic and the Nomadic, in fact I had been on the Nomadic before, as it had been returned to the city where it was built in 2010, my family and I had been to visit it. At the time it was the last White Star line vessel afloat, but in 1912 there were many more.

"The Nomadic!" I said, pointing to the tender, with its yellow and black funnel,

"Yes," smiled Jack, "she looked rather different when you last saw her."

She did, she was painted black and missing her funnel, seeing her the way she should have been was very striking.

"This is amazing," I confessed, as we leaned over the railing to watch the people board,

He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek,

"Don't you just wish we could stay here forever?" I asked, strangely feeling tears prick in my eyes.

"I do, Rachel, I do," he whispered.

**A/N: That's it for it today, onto Queenstown tomorrow! I have actually been on the Nomadic, they are currently doing it up at that 'Titanic Belfast' place, it looks a lot better now than when I saw it.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: So yeah, I got my exam results, A in English, A in history, B in geography and, erm, a D in maths, oops. I'd like to take this chance to say well done to my friend Louise, who reads my fic, for her good results! In reply to classicmovielover, I actually watched a documentary about the Lusitania yesterday, it was so sad! I think the incident with the SS New York was very important as it was just another event in the string of coincidences that led to the sinking of the Titanic, it should be included a lot more. To Number 1 fan, you only find Australian accents boring because it's what you're used to! I've never heard one in reality before, plus that Australian millionaire is building a 'Titanic 2' isn't he? I so want to sail on it, provided it doesn't sink of course. Went to the Ulster folk and transport museum to see their Titanic exhibition today! It was amazing! I'd like to take this chance to say happy birthday to my little brother Joe! Okay, I've said enough, onto the story!**

**Chapter 27 **

**Jack's POV**

The lights of the town reflected off the water, lighting up Rachel's face with their orange glow. She was smiling, which I was glad to see. I was hoping that she wouldn't feel as nervous as I did.

"Are you scared, Jack?" she asked quietly, as if she had read my mind, she didn't raise her eyes from the Nomadic, her eyes scanning the boat, watching the people.

"I'm sort of excited," I said, smiling,

She looked up at me with a confused smile, "Just when I think I understand you, I find out that I don't!" she said with a laugh.

"That just adds to the fun of our relationship, doesn't it?" I smiled,

"Oh yes," she giggled, "our relationship is very fun, I can't imagine anyone that I would rather be with."

I had to glance away, in a few days time she would have to be apart from me, I had to die again. I wondered if I would be able to watch her from Heaven, to make sure that she was getting along without me. When I looked back at her she looked upset, she must have been thinking the same thing as me.

"I swear," I said, taking her hand, "I will be waiting at the gates of Heaven for you when you die."

"I know," she replied, tears pricking in her eyes; she looked away, "I know you will be, but…"

"But what?" I said, using my other hand to turn her face to me,

"But life will be horrible without you, my love," she said slowly,

"You'll be able to do it," I said, forcing a smile, "I know you, Rachel, you're strong, you can do it."

"But Jack," she started, panic in her eyes, "you've always been there for me! Whether I knew it or not, you've always looked after me! How am I meant to do it?!"

"Rachel," I said quietly, aware of the other people on the deck, "this is not the way I wanted it to be at all," I glanced away, "I'm not sure what I wanted."

"Jack?" she whispered, a hint of panic in her voice,

"I mean, I want your love, but you're alive and I'm not, you said it yourself once that we have no future." I said, attempting to explain myself,

"I don't care about the future," she hissed, "I just care about you."

"You couldn't spend your whole life with me, it would be a waste," I said, "I had my life and I chose to die, it doesn't have to be like that for you, you should be able to live your life, get married, get a job…"

"Stop it!" she said, interrupting me with a harsh whisper, "don't talk like that! I chose you because I love you, that was my choice!"

I held both her wrists as she tried to reach for me, as I was unsure of what she was going to do.

"Rachel, listen to me," I said, trying to be calming, "you have to live or I have failed you."

"Jack," she whispered back, "you haven't failed me, you have given me everything that you have had to give, and I couldn't love anyone more and…"

"Mr Phillips!"

I let go of her and we both turned to face where the voice was coming from, Harry was running towards us,

"It's eight o'clock," he said with a smile, "meaning that my shift is over and it's your shift now!"

"Right," I said, I turned to Rachel, "Do you want to join me?"

She nodded,

"Oh," continued Harry, "the cigarettes are on the desk, you might need them."

He gave me a wink before walking off along the deck, greeting everyone he passed with a jaunty wave.

"Let's go," she smiled, offering her arm,

Gently I took it and we headed to the Marconi room.

**Rachel's POV**

Jack sat down at the desk and slipped the earphones on, Harry had left the wireless on, so already blips of Morse code were emerging. With his elegant handwriting he jotted down what was being said, an attractive look of concentration on his face, his eyes glancing slightly upwards, once he finished writing, he rested the pencil against his lower lip. I went to sit next to him, but something stopped me, I gripped the desk with both hands. I tried to talk but no words came out, it was like time had slowed, Jack didn't even look up. I shook my head violently, trying to recover my thoughts.

"Jack," I whispered, everything looked blurry, the wires of the telegraph turning to a tangle in my mind,

"What is it, Rachel?" he asked, looking confused, his words sounded muffled to me.

I leaned harder on the table; Jack stood up and tried to support me,

"What is wrong?" he looked deeply concerned, but his words sounded as if they were being spoken from underwater.

"I… I…" speaking was becoming too difficult; a horrific dizziness was taking over me.

"Rachel?" Jack was helping me into a chair before I had the chance to fall over, his voice was echoing in my ears. Then I blacked out.

"Imagine if you never got to see them again?" a sweet voice asked, "this is why I'm letting you see them, so that you know what you will miss if you die."

The lady is white beamed at me before fading away, I couldn't speak. I could hear a bleeping sound, slow and steady, like medical equipment.

"Ciaran, do you see this?" a familiar voice asked,

"Rachel?" that was Ciaran's voice, my little brother,

"I think she might be waking up," the other voice asked, sounding both excited and concerned.

My eyes flicked open, the brightness of the room burnt into me, I let out a gasp.

"Rachel?" Ciaran was looking me in the eye, his big blue eyes full of worry, but something didn't look right about him,

"Ciaran," I mumbled, he leaned in to listen, "You don't look the same."

He glanced away, a worried expression on his face, my eyes were beginning to work properly again, I saw the other people in the room, it was Chris, there was something strange looking about him too. I was attempting to sit up. Thomas Andrews was standing behind Ciaran, he also looked worried.

"Be careful, Rachel," Chris said, coming and standing beside me.

Ciaran helped me into a sitting position, pillows propping me up.

"Am I okay?" I asked, I glanced down,

I was wearing a plain white hospital gown, no damage that I could see. I saw Ciaran and Chris look at each other awkwardly.

"I have been to see you everyday," Ciaran said, as if he were trying to reassure me,

"We'd never forget about you," Chris chipped in.

They glanced to each other again,

"I don't know how to tell you this…" Ciaran started, his voice deeper than I remembered,

"I'm twenty years old," Chris said bluntly,

"But Chris," I murmured, still finding it hard to talk,

"I know, I'm only a few months older than you," he replied,

"I'm sixteen now," Ciaran said, forcing a smile though tears glittered in his eyes, "don't worry, Thomas has looked after me."

"No…" I tried to speak again,

"And that makes you nineteen, Rachel," Chris said, shaking his head sadly.

It felt as if I had swallowed a rock, the disgusting sinking that I felt in the pit of my stomach made me feel extremely faint. Chris stroked my hair, which was tangled and messy, he was attempting to calm me, but he couldn't do it like Jack did. I felt my heart pounding, the bleeping of the monitor got faster as well, which added to my stress. Ciaran had a sad smile on his face, he did look older, his face less round, I had missed seeing my little brother grow up, his eyes looked sad and tired. Chris had aged as well, his brown hair was longer and he looked paler. I wondered then how different I must look; my wrists looked a lot more skinny, which worried me.

"You have been in a coma for two years," Chris said, attempting to make the words gentle,

I swallowed, holding back tears, "Right."

"But it's all over now," Chris smiled, "do you forgive me for everything? I got it all so wrong, I understand now."

"No," I whispered,

"You don't forgive me?" Chris asked, looking hurt, "Everything about Jack…"

"Chris," I stated, he stopped talking, "I forgive you, but everything with Jack is not over!"

"What?" asked Ciaran, "but Jack isn't here, where is he?"

"Jack is…" I tried to speak,

Thomas Andrews looked at me with sad eyes, "She's made you have to make a difficult choice, hasn't she?"

"How did you know?" I asked, amazed,

"She told me," he said, shaking his head, "I think she wanted to gloat to someone,"

"What do you mean?" Chris asked Mr Andrews,

"You can see Thomas?!" I exclaimed,

"Of course," Chris smiled, looking very knowing,

"But since when, I mean…" I started,

"It is a very long story, but Chris and I have become good friends over the last two years," Ciaran said solemnly.

"As I was saying," Thomas said, edging his way back into the conversation, "Rachel has been forced into a rather awkward situation, from what the lady told me, Jack Phillips must die again."

"Yes," I replied, "so it's not over." I tried to get out of the bed; I felt an ache in my stomach.

"Rachel, don't," Mr Andrews warned,

"I want to," I paused for breath, trying to get up was difficult as apparently I hadn't moved in two years, "I want to look out the window."

Ciaran, Chris and Thomas helped me out of the bed; the white gown was long and dragged on the floor behind me as I wobbled towards the window, using those in the room as support. I stepped away from them and pressed my fingers to the cold glass, it was raining, as always. The droplets of rain ran swiftly down the pane past my eyes. I could see hints of my reflection; I looked more bony and pale. The window let me see out over the whole city, it didn't look very different, and then I noticed something.

"What's that building?" I asked, pointing towards a huge silver building with three protruding bows.

"Titanic Belfast," Ciaran said, with a hint of spite in his voice, "it opened last year to 'celebrate' the one hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, barely anything about Mr Andrews…"

"And Jack Phillips was only mentioned once, oh and they spelt Harold Bride's name wrong!" Thomas said, looking slightly angry.

"Shameful," I whispered, I knew I didn't have long; I would have to go back.

"Chris, Ciaran, Thomas," I said, turning to face them, "I love you so much, but I have to go back, I have no choice!"

"Back where?" Chris asked, he looked concerned and hurt,

"Titanic," I said with a weak smile, "Jack needs me,"

"What do you mean, Rachel?" Chris said, I turned away from him, I couldn't explain.

He put his hand on my shoulder, I looked out the window again, the sky was grey, raining still. Chris kissed the top of my head.

"I love you," he whispered, loud enough so that only I could hear.

"I'll see you again, someday," I promised, watching his face reflected in the window, his eyes darkened,

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered, "you're staying here with me."

"I can't," I glanced up at his face, his skin so much paler than I was used to.

"Rachel!" I heard a cheery tone; no one else seemed to hear it.

I turned back to the window, only this time I did not see my own reflection, I saw the lady in white, her face where mine should have been.

"Time to go back to Titanic, Rachel!" she giggled,

"Not yet!" I pleaded with her,

I reached out my hand to the window, as if I could stop her,

"Please, I haven't got to…" I started.

Then quickly, everything went black.

**A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages I really am, I dedicate this chapter to my lovely little brother.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: To my Number 1 fan, my brother is now 14, they grow up so fast XD. I really want to sail on Titanic 2; it would be the most amazing thing ever! To classicmovielover, well my brother wanted to buy the movie that was made about the Lusitania, called 'Murder on the Atlantic', but he managed to buy a documentary with the exact same name, that's how I saw it XD. At this 'Titanic Belfast' place, which is a sort of museum thingy, it's quite hard to describe, but they built it to commemorate the 100****th**** anniversary of the sinking, but yeah, they got Harold Bride's name wrong, I was really annoyed! You're going to reread my chapter? I'm flattered.**

**Chapter 28**

**Rachel's POV**

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, he had pulled me into the seat next to him; he was still wearing the earphones.

"How long had I blacked out for?" I asked,

"You blacked out?" he said, looking slightly confused, "you fainted for just a second,"

"But I..." I stopped because there was no point in trying to explain, no point in making Jack more worried.

"I'm fine now," I smiled, "I was just a bit dizzy,"

"That's good," he smiled, pushing some of my hair out of my eyes.

I could still hear the Morse code,

"They're not saying anything important," Jack shrugged, "all good luck type messages; people are very excited about this voyage."

"So are we," I said, pulling the earphones off him,

"Hey," he laughed in a joking protest,

I slipped them on, they were warm from him, I heard the dashes and dots clearly.

"You can write it down if you want," Jack said with a smile, handing me the pencil,

"Okay," I said, sounding strangely nervous.

He watched me, raising an eyebrow as he looked, I felt myself blush and look down at the page in front of me, writing the message of luck with my messy handwriting.

"Should I give it to the captain, or something?" I asked, finally looking at him,

He took the pencil from my hand and set it down,

"I don't think he'd mind," Jack smiled, "if the message was a little late."

"Oh, Jack," I said, attempting to sound worried by him, "that doesn't sound like something that a wireless operator should do!"

"Like that matters," he laughed, taking the earphones off me and setting them on the table,

"Queenstown tomorrow," I whispered,

"And my birthday," he smiled,

"And your last chance to see dry land," I said sadly,

"Rachel," he said, sounding very serious, "stop being so gloomy,"

"I'll try but..." I started,

"Think of it as an adventure!" he said, starting to laugh again,

"Okay, okay," I replied, his laugh causing me to smile, "this is like an adventure, I mean I would never have the opportunity to do anything like this otherwise!"

"Exactly!" he smiled, "It is 1912, I'm with you and it's my birthday tomorrow! How could life be better?"

"If you didn't have to die," I said dryly,

"Ah, shush you," he said, still smiling,

"I'm sorry for being so miserable," I said, taking his hand,

"Don't worry," he replied, "it is perfectly understandable."

"Are you excited to see your present?" I asked, trying to brighten the mood of our conversation,

"Oh, very much so," he laughed, "you have been so secretive about it!"

"Adds to the fun, sweet Jack."

I could feel his breath on my face we had moved in that close to each other. The Marconi room was dimly lit, the sunlight outside had faded and now we were lit only by the electric light on the ceiling. I took his other hand in mine, a kiss followed, his sweet sighs. Then out of the wireless earphones came the bleeps of Morse.

"Oh shut up," Jack whispered, those blue eyes glaring at Marconi's prized invention,

"How rude of them to interrupt!" I laughed,

The signal was so loud due to the fact that the other ships were so close to us; Jack tapped a message back, while keeping his other hand around mine.

"Another good luck message," he said with a sigh, "I'm just thanking them for their kindness."

"That is so nice of you, Jack," I said, then I kissed his cheek,

"The ship should be leaving Cherbourg soon," Jack said, I could see that he was thinking.

We managed to sneak in another kiss before Harold Bride clattered into the room,

"I fell asleep on a deck chair," he said as he shut the door behind him,

I let go of Jack's hand.

"I woke up and I was bloody freezing!" he said, dramatically clutching his arms around himself.

"Aw Harold," I laughed,

"It's Harry," he reminded me,

Harry, as he insisted he was called, sat down on the bed.

"Well," he said, a smile on his face,

"What is it?" I asked, I had turned my chair to face him; Jack was turning his chair as well.

"You will be pleased to know that I had a photograph taken of me today," Harry said, he smiled deeply and flicked his hair back,

"Really?!" I asked, "Aren't they awful rare these days?"

"These days?" he said, looking confused,

"I mean, photographs don't get taken very often!" I said, correcting myself,

"Ah yes," he laughed, "they are very rare, but of course when that priest with a camera saw me, he had to take one!"

"Priest with a camera?" I asked,

I could see that Jack already knew what was going to be said as he was not having much input into the conversation.

"Yes!" Harry said, "Father Browne, I think, he must have thought that other people needed to see my dashing good looks, so he took a photograph of me."

"Harry," Jack smiled, "I'm sure he was more interested in getting a photograph of the wireless room than of you, that is where he took the photograph, wasn't it?"

"Well, yes," Harry replied, "but he still took the picture of me and not of you, Jack!"

"I'm sure that you weren't even facing the camera!" Jack said, laughing,

"Okay," Harry said, "I wasn't facing the camera."

"Aw, Harry!" I said, suddenly feeling bad for him, "I'm sure it was a lovely photograph!"

Harry lay back on the bed, his hands behind his head.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Jack said, sounding genuine,

"It's fine, Jack," he smiled, "I'm just tired and cold,"

"Indeed," Jack said, throwing the packet of cigarettes over to Harry.

"And you're just jealous that I got a photograph taken of me!" Harry laughed,

"I've had photographs taken before," Jack said,

"I've had one taken before as well, but this one was better." Harry said, smiling to himself.

Harry lit the cigarette and put it in his mouth, I would have said something about smoking in bed being terribly dangerous, but I doubted that he would have listened to me.

"I'm awful hungry," I told them,

Harry threw the cigarettes back to Jack who also lit one; Jack had put the earphones back on. I let out a sigh.

"I'll go get my own food them," I said, leaping out of the seat,

"Leave this to the captain while you're at it." Jack said, handing me a couple of wireless messages.

As I took them from him he kissed my hand, I smiled at him, then he let go of my hand and put the cigarette in his mouth.

"Have a nice evening, Jack," I told him quietly,

"You too, Rachel," he replied.

I left the room, closing it gently behind me. I looked at the wireless messages; Jack's beautiful writing covering most of them, my messy writing on one and Harry's neat handwriting on a few as well. I shrugged after reading through a few of them then set off in the direction of the bridge. The Marconi room was on the top deck and not too far from the bridge, so I just had to walk along the deck for a bit, before reaching the expansive bridge. It was a long white room, with large windows at the front, the gold telegraph for communicating with the engine room was a central feature. I saw a man standing there.

"Hello?" I called,

He turned to face me, it was Murdoch.

"Excuse me," I said, walking over to him,

"Yes?" he asked,

"I have some wireless messages for the captain, where can I find him?" I asked, trying to sound extremely polite,

"Well, Miss? What is your name?" he asked,

"Rachel, sir, Rachel Given,"

"Well, Miss Given, the captain is dining with the first class passengers if you want to give him the messages," he said with a smile,

"I am," I paused, thinking of how to word what I was going to say, "Allowed to go into the first class dining room?"

"I'm sure no one will mind," he smiled, before waving me on my way.

First I had to go down about five levels, deep into the ship; I used the crew staircase as I did not feel up to meeting all the passengers just yet. I had a vague idea of where I was going from all the days of exploring the ship with Jack, but even then all the corridors looked the same, all white and extending endlessly.

"I hope these messages aren't urgent," I muttered to myself as I turned another corner.

I was getting dizzy from all the turning corridors and the fact that they all looked identical to me. Eventually I found the door to the first class galley, I walked in quietly, some food was being cooked, but mostly the men were washing dishes, from this I knew that dinner must be over for some people, I hoped that the captain would still be there. I waved awkwardly to the chefs as I walked past, before strolling out the door at the other side. The atmosphere in the room I entered was totally different to the one that I had just left, instead of the sweet simmering of food and the clatter of pots, the shiny silver of the cooking surfaces and the relaxed nature of the chefs. Instead in this room there was the gentle background noise of classical music, the clinking of expensive wine glasses, the sound of silver cutlery on crockery, all around me where people dressed in their finest clothing, ladies in their shimmering dresses, in varying tasteful colours and men in dinner jackets. The room was huge, square pillars supporting the ornate ceiling.

"Where would the captain be?" I thought to myself.

The amount of people made it difficult to see anyone in particular, so I knew that I would have to walk around and look for him, I stepped away from the door that I had used to enter and tried to look around unnoticed. I tried to look as if I knew what I was doing; the people at the tables thankfully didn't even look up at me as I edged past them. I spotted a long table at the end of the room, a man wearing a uniform sat at the head of it, he had a white beard, his face kind, this had to be him. I had seen his photograph many times, but there is a lot of difference in seeing someone in an old photograph and seeing them in the flesh.

"Captain Smith, sir?" I questioned as I stood alongside him,

All the people at the table looked up at me, they stopped their talking and stared, there must have been about fourteen of them. I felt a blush rising to my cheeks.

"Yes?" the captain asked,

"I have some wireless messages for you, sir." I said, my voice going higher pitched with nervousness, I held the pieces of paper out to him.

"Thank you," he smiled, taking them from me, "Now why is a young stewardess like you running errands for those wireless men?"

"I am also a wireless officer, sir," I said, trying to remain calm and to get my voice to a normal level,

"Ah," he said.

All the people at the table continued to stare at me,

"I'm a modern girl, sir," I said, "the world is moving forward, before you know it, women will have the vote!"

All the men hooted with laughter at this comment of mine,

"Very funny, young lady," another man informed me, his moustached face beaming up at me.

"I must be getting back now," I said politely with a nod, before turning and leaving.

I felt such relief at getting out of that room, the people all seemed so fake, all their behaviour so forced. I found all of it quite frightening. I took some food from the kitchen as I was leaving, it was leftovers so no one minded, tiredness was taking over me, and so I knew that it had to be late. I asked a passing steward the time, it was half eleven, at that I knew that I should be getting to bed, for there would be many more things to be doing the next day, including giving Jack his birthday present! So I needed a good night of sleep, for adventures can't be had if you are too tired for them...

**A/N: I am quite busy at the minute, nearly going back to school and all that, so I worry that I won't be able to update that much, but I will still try, I promise, have a nice day! XX**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: to Classicmovielover, I'm really not sure how you would get his name wrong, but they managed it, they should have had me as an advisor on the project! Well, if you are ever in Belfast, visit the Transport Museum, but 'Titanic Belfast' is a bit useless. And to my number 1 fan, I am glad you enjoy it I will try to keep it up.**

**Chapter 29**

**Jack's POV**

I got up at about half seven in the morning, Harry was on the wireless, so he ignored me. I dressed myself, cleaned my teeth and then I sat on the bed, exhausted due to a bad night of sleep. I had went to bed as soon as my shift was over at two in the morning, but it wasn't just the long shift that made me tired, I was also slightly excited about my birthday, as I had not had a proper one in one hundred years. I lay back on the bed, waiting until Harry's shift was finished.

"Hey Jack," he called over, a sly smile on his face, I knew that he must be up to something,

"What is it?" I asked,

"Could you start your shift early, I have some things to attend to," he said as he stood up, taking off the earphones.

He didn't give me a chance to reply; he just slammed the earphones down and walked quickly out the door.

"That was so kind of you Harry," I muttered to myself, as I couldn't remember if he had done this one hundred years ago or not, "Was that meant to be my birthday treat? An extra twenty minutes on the wireless?"

I sat down at the desk and sighed to myself as I put the earphones on and pulled the paper and pencil over in front of me. I idly listened to the messages that were coming in, writing them down, but not really paying much attention.

"Jack!" Rachel called from the doorway,

Just as I looked up, she ran for me and jumped into my lap, hugging me around the neck.

"Happy birthday!" she said with a delighted laugh,

"Thank you," I said, kissing her on the end of her nose,

"Your present!" she said, unwrapping her arms from around me.

She stood up, I didn't want to tell her, but she had nearly crushed me by jumping on me when I wasn't expecting it. She turned to the bed and tried to look under it, I watched her as she got down on all fours and started reaching her hands under the bed.

"It should be here..." she muttered,

"Should it?" I asked with a smile,

She glanced up at me, raising an eyebrow, and then her face lit up.

"Found it!" she pulled out the item that was wrapped in brown paper.

She sat in the seat next to me,

"You're present, Jack," she whispered, "Happy twenty-fifth birthday... again."

"Thank you," I whispered back, taking the brown wrapped gift.

She looked at me expectantly as I started to unwrap it, her eyes lighting up with each crinkle of the paper. I unwrapped the final piece; it was a small glass bottle with a ship in it. It was a ship with white sails, delicately protected by the clear bottle, the water painted deep blue and the hull of the ship was made of dark brown wood.

"It's beautiful," I said, taking my eyes from the ship and looking at her happy face,

"Do you really like it?" she asked, sounding nervous,

"Of course I do!" I replied, setting the bottle on the desk, "it can serve as our paperweight for the Marconi messages! Both lovely and practical, a truly lovely present from a truly lovely girl."

She hugged me again, her head against my neck.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear,

"I love you too," she replied, her warm breath on my neck.

I tilted her head up for a kiss, her kisses were so familiar to me, yet this familiarity only made me love them more. I opened my eyes slightly, her eyes were gently closed, a sweet smile on her face. I closed my eyes again. I kissed her harder; her hands worked their way into mine. Kissing is a strange time to get lost in your thoughts, though it happened to me every time I kissed Rachel, it always made my mind work overtime, maybe it was something to do with my faster breathing, my pounding heart or my overwhelming feelings of happiness. We were receiving wireless messages, but they went ignored, I deserved this, just this once.

"Hello, lovebirds!" Harry laughed.

He must have re-entered the room while we were too busy paying attention to each other to notice anything that was occurring in the world around us. Rachel and I didn't stop our kissing for a moment more, not until Mr Bride was drumming his fingers on the table next to us, then we finished our kiss.

"Look what I brought!" Harry announced,

He had set a tray of pastries and tea on the table,

"Stole it from the first class kitchens, just a little treat for you on your birthday, Jack," he beamed,

I couldn't help but let out a delighted laugh, I had forgotten about this, I had been so caught up in the moment that I had forgotten how great a friend Harold Bride had been to me. We all sat on the bed and ate breakfast together, nearly spilling the tea and our fingers sticky with the jam that we had put on the beautiful pastries.

"Thank you," I said, slightly worried that I might cry with how happy I was.

Both Rachel and Harry smiled at me from either side of me.

"It was no problem!" Harry laughed,

"I was all too happy to get you a present, Jack," Rachel said, her hand on my shoulder.

I let out a happy sigh, this had been far better than I ever imagined that it could be.

"We should reach Ireland at about..." Harry glanced up at the clock on the wall, "eleven."

I also looked up at the clock; we had about an hour and a half before we arrived. Harry tidied all the plates onto the tray once we had finished.

"I will leave this back to the kitchens, all the guys down there can deal with it, then I am going to find somewhere nice to sleep," he smiled, opening the door, "you two have fun, have a very happy birthday, Jack!"

"Thank you, Harry," I replied with a grin, "I will."

He closed the door behind him, Rachel turned to me,

"I know he survives, but please tell me nothing bad happens to him," she said, I could see the worry in her eyes,

"Rachel, it has already happened, it doesn't really..." I tried to explain,

"Tell me," she hissed, her eyes demanding it of me.

"Well," I said, shrugging my shoulders, "he stayed with me until nearly the end, by the time we were out on deck all the proper lifeboats were gone."

She nodded for me to continue,

"But there were two smaller boats left, called collapsible lifeboats, these two remaining ones were named A and B. Both of these boats were inconveniently tied to the roof of the officers' quarters, which is where we are now." I continued,

She glanced at the ceiling, as if expecting to see the boats, and then she looked back to me again and nodded.

"By the time the officers were attempting to launch these two boats, the ship was nearly gone, so neither of them were launched properly, there was just enough time to cut the ropes on them, Harry was one of the people attempting to launch boat B. Collapsible A was swamped and floated off full of water and B was turned upside down," I said, "there was a wave of water that washed B off the ship, this wave washed Harold Bride into the water, he ended up underneath the boat."

"Shit," Rachel muttered, "that shouldn't have to happen to him!"

**Rachel's POV**

"I'm not finished yet," Jack informed me.

Despite the dark subject of the story, I could tell that he was enjoying telling it.

"Go on then," I told him,

"Eventually Harry got out from underneath the upturned boat, he was then helped on top of it, officer Lightoller took control of the boat to make sure that it remained balanced, he saved about twenty men's lives this way." Jack continued,

"But not you," I said,

"Not me," he said, darkness creeping into his eyes, "I made it to that boat, but it wasn't enough to save me."

He looked so upset I had to give him a hug, he smiled sadly. I really needed to try not to upset him so much.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," I whispered,

"It's okay," he replied, "but make sure that you don't tell Harry anything about it, we need not have more people worried, there is just no point."

"Okay," I replied, I knew he was saying this for Harry's benefit.

"Back to the wireless then," Jack smiled, taking me by the hand and leading me over to the chairs at the desk.

I sat down at the desk with him; we had left it on all morning.

"I hope we didn't miss any important messages," I joked,

"I'm sure they will be grand," he smiled,

I looked up at the clock, much time had passed, and Jack looked up then too.

"You might want to go out on deck," he whispered, putting the earphones on, I nodded.

I kissed him on the cheek before leaving the room and running along the corridor and out onto the deck, I found a spot between two lifeboats and looked out. The wind was strong and there was a hint of rain, but I didn't mind. In the distance I could see a land mass, it was green and rocky, I leaned out over the railing, shielding my eyes from the brightness of the white clouds in the sky. The land was getting closer and closer due to the amazing speed of the beautiful ship, and then I knew where this place getting closer was, it was Ireland.

**A/N: Oh Ireland, how nice! My country! More soon, but I am a very busy girl at the minute .**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: I'm not busy doing anything bad, it's just it's nearly time for me to go back to school , but it's my final year! YAY!**

**Chapter 30**

**Rachel's POV**

Jack looked extremely bored, it was now the twelfth of April and the excitement we had at the start of the journey had faded into a dull routine, I had never really imagined that I would find being in history so boring. He was sending passenger messages, as that was the only job that there was money in.

"Don't worry," I whispered as I poured him more tea, "Only half an hour more and we can spend the afternoon together!"

He gave me a tired smile, and then went back to sending the messages. I watched him carefully, despite his look of boredom he still managed to send the telegraphs with skill. I leaned one elbow on the table and I continued to stare at him, either he was unfazed by this or he didn't notice. He sipped at the tea slowly, sighing as he set the cup down. Light was shining in the skylight. It was a very dull half hour, but eventually we got to go out on deck, we were out at sea now, so there was no land to be seen now, only water in every direction eternally.

"It's beautiful," I informed him, extremely impressed by both the speed of the ship and our amazing surroundings,

"It is," he smiled, though he didn't look as happy as usual.

We were at my usual spot between the lifeboats; they helped shield us from the strong sea winds, leaning on the railings. After about half an hour of silence, staring out at the ocean, I glanced over at Jack.

"Not very talkative today, are you?" I asked,

"No," he said, shaking his head,

"Want to tell me why?" I asked, attempting to sound light-hearted,

"Some things should remain as secrets," he told me, sounding overly serious.

I was taken aback, feeling extremely confused as to why he was acting like this. Then I shrugged, if he wanted to act all mysterious he could.

"I'll just leave you to ponder your thoughts then," I said.

He looked at me and nodded, so I turned and walked off, unsure of where I wanted to go, so I decided to head back to where I slept. The deck was crowded, as everyone was out to explore the deck and enjoy the speed of our ship. Seeing everyone having fun, all of them not knowing what was going to happen reminded me that we can never tell what our fate is going to be, a few seconds can change everything, or something that seems to mean nothing at the time can turn out to mean everything. I sighed as I pushed the door of the maids' room open, believing that I would spend the rest of the day doing nothing. As soon as I opened the door I was surprised to see Jessie.

"Rachel!" she announced as she nearly crashed into me,

"Hello!" I said with a smile and a wave,

"Up to much?" she asked,

"No," I replied, shaking my head, still feeling confused by Jack,

"Well you can help me on my duties if you want," she smiled,

"Sure," I replied, hoping that I could be of some use to my friend.

First we headed for the first class rooms,

"Will there be any people in the rooms?" I asked Jessie nervously, as we walked along one long corridor, the carpets a deep red, gold railings along the white walls.

"Hopefully not," was her reply, "Most of them will be walking on deck or having a late lunch."

"Ah yes," I said, attempting to sound as if I understood how these things worked on ships, though I knew that I didn't want to be encountering all those rich people again, after that rather off-putting experience in the first class dining room.

Rich people and ships were two things that I would probably never understand; the first room we came to was extremely grand.

"All we have to do is change to sheets on the bed!" she smiled,

"All?!" I asked, studying the huge bed, which had been left unmade by whoever had slept in it,

"Oh and tidy anything that looks untidy," she informed me.

We went about removing the expensive looking sheets from the bed, I was trying my very best not to get tangled in them.

"You finish removing the sheets while I get the new ones!" she told me, leaving the room,

"Ah, alright!" I called after her, nearly sure that she would be unable to hear.

"I can do this!" I told myself as I removed the cover from the feather-stuffed duvet.

I heard the door creak open as I pulled on the cover,

"Come off!" I muttered to myself, getting increasingly annoyed at this task.

Just then I stood on the end of the sheet, the rest of it had got tangled around my legs while I had been struggling to remove it from the bed and I managed to trip myself and fall onto the floor, pulling the soft sheets down around me. I looked up to see if the door creaking had been Jessie returning, so that we could laugh at how useless I was at this unmaking of beds, instead I looked up into the stunned faces of a middle-aged man and a younger woman, they just stared at me silently.

"Ah, hello!" I said, with a smile, attempting not to seem awkward, though I was sitting on the floor of their room wrapped in their bed sheets.

"What are you doing?" the man asked,

"I was, ah, changing the sheets of the bed," I said awkwardly,

"You don't seem to doing a very good job of it," giggled the young woman, placing a hand on her stomach as she did so.

I wanted to ask her if she thought that she could do any better, but at that moment Jessie came back into the room, stepping past the rich couple and putting a hand to her mouth to stifle her laugh.

"Miss Given and I will only be a few moments more," she said.

She helped me get untangled from the sheets, the couple continued to watch us as we made the bed.

"All finished," I smiled at them.

Amazingly both of them gave me a smile, I thought that they would be snobby and dislike someone as inexperienced as myself. They closed the door after we left.

"They are the Astors," Jessie informed me, "Mr Astor being the richest person on this whole ship, or so I heard from one of the maids, his wife couldn't be that much older than you."

"How could you get married that young?" I asked, as I had thought that perhaps she had been his daughter, and then I realized that that was probably very normal in this day and age.

Jessie just shrugged at me. We changed the beds in many other rooms, but fortunately we were not bothered by anyone else and by the end of our work I felt that I had rather improved at changing beds, something that I had never been any good at.

"You could nearly pass for a proper stewardess!" Jessie laughed as we went back up to the deck,

"You think so?" I asked, strangely feeling extremely flattered,

"Yes!" she laughed, "you should help me more in the future!"

"I will, Jessie," I smiled, "I will."

I wasn't sure whether I should go and see Jack again or not, as he probably wouldn't want to talk. But regardless of whatever doubts I had about seeing him, I went to see him anyway. I opened the door of the wireless shack, Harry was at the desk, and he raised a finger to his lips on seeing me.

"Jack is asleep," he whispered, motioning to the curtained off area where the bed was,

"Ah, right," I said, "Any idea why he is acting up today?"

"I was noticed that too," he whispered as I sat down next to him, "it's like he has a big secret!"

"If he has a big secret," I whispered, "we are going to have to find out what it is!"

"Now that, Rachel," he smiled, "Sounds like fun! I would look through his stuff to see if he's hiding anything but..."

"Leave that to me," I giggled quietly.

"He has left his jacket on that hook," Harry said motioning to the back of the door, "if you want to look there,"

I walked quietly over to it, slipping my hands in the outside pockets, nothing but cigarettes and matches, causing me to sigh with quiet annoyance. I reached inside the jacket, as there were two pockets in there too, one contained small change, but I could feel that the other contained something bigger, I went to check out what it was when I felt a tap on my shoulder, I wheeled around. It was Jack, looking quite annoyed at me; Harry had a shocked expression on his face.

"He was too quick," Harry muttered, looking towards the ground,

I giggled awkwardly, letting go of the jacket.

"You both were awful loud," Jack said slowly, "causing me to wake up."

"Sorry, Jack," Harry and I squeaked,

He narrowed his blue eyes, picked the jacket up and walked back to the bed.

"Some things should remain as secrets," he said, tilting his head, "even if it is only for the moment."

**A/N: Ohh, how mysterious XD**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: I am very tired and I'm back to school on Monday , but I will try to keep updating! Have a nice day readers!**

**Chapter 31**

**Rachel's POV**

Jack had not been pleased with me on the twelfth, so the next day I had been trying my best to make it up to him by fetching him tea and nice food from the kitchen. Harry and I were still very curious about what it was that he was keeping secret, I found secrets rather annoying, I preferred it when things were known and out in the open, secrets never helped anyone. After assisting Jack, which I did all morning and he still wasn't in a good mood, I helped Jessie out on her duties. She was much more my kind of person, extremely honest, yet good natured and sweet. She thought Jack and I were very sweet together and she advised me to leave him to his secrets, apparently men always do things like that. Jessie was quite beautiful, so I would expect that she would know all about male attention.

"If he wants to keep something secret, maybe it is for your own good," she told me as we made a bed,

"But how can I stop it annoying me?" I asked, sounding irritated,

"You just have to try not to think about it!" she informed me, a serious look in her eyes.

I couldn't help but sigh at this; I always over-thought things, that was just me. It was good that I had work to be doing, as it distracting me from thinking about Jack, even the dull task of making beds was better than annoying myself over the secrets of my love.

"You should try to talk to him about it, if it annoys you that much," she informed me,

"Yes," I smiled, "while he is on duty this evening I will sit with him!"

"You worry too much," she smiled, petting my hair, "my little friend."

"I know," I giggled.

By the time that eight o'clock in the evening came, I was ready to talk to Jack about it. I walked slowly to the wireless room, thinking about what I should say to him, when I arrived in the Marconi room he was already at the wireless.

"Hello, Jack," I said, he looked up at me, his blue eyes looked empty, like his mind was far away,

"Good evening," he said quietly, his voice gentle,

"A lot of passenger messages to send?" I asked him, sitting down next to him,

"Indeed," he said, looking away from me,

"Don't be so standoffish with me, Mr Phillips," I said sternly, "I am your girlfriend and I will not be treated so indifferently!"

He looked back to me, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's right," I said, "I just addressed you in a very formal matter, now you have to listen to me!"

He let out a laugh, which made me smile as well.

"I'm sorry," he said, still smiling, "I've just been very tired recently,"

"And you have a secret," I informed him, tilting my head and looking up at him,

"Yes, I do," he whispered, sounding very mysterious again,

"You can tell me," I whispered back.

"Not yet," was his reply.

The room was bathed in an orange light; I put my hand on his,

"When will you tell me?" I asked, looking into his eyes,

"Soon," he smiled, putting the earphones on.

I leaned back in the chair, then my stomach rumbled, I let out a sigh.

"I'll get us dinner," I whispered,

He nodded and I headed off to the kitchens. I felt nervous, not only about Jack's secret, but the more pressing matter of the ship hitting the iceberg the next day. Everything felt so solid, I ran my hands along the walls of the corridor, so strong, bright lights lit the long corridors, how could anything happen to this amazing place that had become like a second home to me? I tried to imagine it all underwater, but it just wasn't possible, all of it seemed too safe, too unsinkable. It was no wonder that no one could imagine this ship sinking; I knew that it sank and even I couldn't believe it. Just then I heard a voice from behind me,

"Hello, Rachel," it was officer Lightoller,

"Hello, sir," I replied with a smile,

"Need help with anything?" he asked, concern on his face, and then I realized that my face was screwed up in worry,

"Actually, yes," I smiled, relaxing my face again; "I want to get food for Jack and I, could you help me carry it?"

"Of course," he said.

We went along to the kitchens and retrieved some leftover food, it was still warm, then we balanced it on metal trays and Lightoller helped me back up to the Marconi room. He opened the door for me, still balancing a tray in one hand, then he set it down on the desk next to Jack and I set my tray down as well.

"If there is anything else I can help you with, just ask," he said, smiling, dipping his hat and leaving.

I waved after him, but Jack gave him a dirty look as he slid a piece of paper under the ship in a bottle.

"What's wrong?" I asked Jack, "Mr Lightoller is really nice!"

"Mr Lightoller," Jack said, eating a piece of bread, "writes a book."

"Yes..." I said, wanting him to continue, wondering why this annoyed Jack so much,

"And he blames me for the sinking of the Titanic," Jack said, deep scorn in his voice, "In fact the things he said about me were so insulting that the book was withdrawn as the Marconi Company threatened to sue."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it," I said uneasily, sitting down next to him.

Jack shrugged and went back to sending the messages and eating, I sat quietly by him. The gentle 'dit dah' of the wireless helping me to relax. I leaned back in the chair, letting sleep take me, I had been really tired and the warmth of the room was extremely relaxing.

"Rachel," Jack's voice, he was shaking me, "Wake up!"

"I've only been asleep a minute, just resting my eyes!" I mumbled, flailing my arms to make him stop shaking me,

"It's half one at night," he smiled, I had just opened my eyes properly, he looked quite blurry to my tired eyes.

"Oh," was all that I could say.

Jack laughed at me, the room was now lit only by the electric light, meaning that his face with coloured warmly by it.

"I should really get to bed then," I said, standing up slowly, my legs wobbly from sleeping.

"Wait a moment," he said, getting his jacket off the door hook, "our last night of sleep in the Titanic, I want it to be special."

I thought that he was going to walk me to my room, then I saw him smile as he reached into his pocket, this was the secret, I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"This was the secret then?" I giggled, unable to contain my excitement,

"Of course!" he grinned as he took a box out of his pocket.

I clasped my hands together in front of me with nervousness as he got down on one knee; he smiled up at me, slowly opening the box. The glitter of precious stones catching my eyes in the dim light.

"Rachel," he said with a smile, "Will you marry me?"

**A/N: Short chapter, I know, but more soon!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Back at school yesterday , so instead of being sad I shall write! Thanks for the reviews Classicmovielover and LTsangy, is Lightoller's book really boring? I haven't read it, but I was going to, I've read 'A Night to Remember' and Archibald Gracie's book and I liked both of them. This chapter is quite short, but I have plenty of free periods in school and I will write more then! **

**Chapter 32**

**Rachel's POV**

"Yes," I whispered, as if there could be any other answer to that very important question that Jack had just asked me, on a bended knee in the wireless room,

I saw him smile, his eyes facing downwards as if he were shy,

"Yes," I repeated louder, wanting him to look up at me.

With that he took my left hand in his and placed the ring on my finger, I felt like I could faint, my breathing was fast and my heartbeat was uncontrollable, my eyes flicking between him and the ring on my small hand. After this he slowly stood up, still holding my hand, between his fingers I could admire the glittering stones, a wide smile on his face, his eyes dancing with happiness, the blue as sparkly as the diamonds on my finger.

"It's amazing," I whispered, "But where did you get the money?"

He took my other hand and looked into my eyes,

"Before I left Titanic, the first time," he said, "Harry handed me my money as we were leaving the wireless room, I put it in my pocket and it has been in my pocket ever since, so one day when I was in Southampton, I realized that I knew what I wanted, and there would be no other opportunity to show it."

I let out a happy sigh and wrapped my arms around him.

"I know what I want too; Jack," I informed him, sounding definite, "and I already have it."

"Rachel..." he started, I could hear that what he was going to say wasn't going to be happy.

"Don't even say it, Jack," I told him, "You'll make me cry if you say anything!"

"Okay, okay," he replied, he glanced away before smiling again; the happiness of this moment could not be destroyed even by the disaster that was coming.

I put my arms around him, the new weight of the ring on my finger giving me strange feelings of delight; it was something that I assumed I would never experience, as I never thought that anyone would want to marry a girl like me. He kissed me, and then I pulled back from him.

"Wait, aren't you engaged already?" I asked, thinking of his horrible fiancée who had confronted us in Southampton,

"It was her that partly inspired me to ask you to marry me," he laughed, "this isn't the real world anyway, who cares? All that matters is that I love you!"

"If you say so, Jack," I giggled, kissing him.

I heard some Morse coming from the wireless, Jack sighed dramatically,

"I really should have switched it off first," he said, glaring over at the confusing technology.

"Ah, it doesn't matter," I whispered, untangling myself from him, "I will handle the message!"

I walked over to the desk, slipped the earphones on and started to listen; it was some other officer who wanted to chat.

"He wants to have a wee chat, I think," I laughed,

Jack had walked over to me, taking one of my hands in his.

"Well," smiled Jack, kissing my cheek, "tell him that you're busy."

"Sure thing," I said to Jack,

"Old man I just got engaged, very busy." I messaged back to the mystery wireless officer.

"Done," I told Jack, quickly removing the earphones as he took me in his arms.

His kiss felt beautiful on my lips, forcing happy sighs out of me. This had to be what happiness felt like; being in the arms of the one I loved, kissing him, an engagement ring on my finger, it felt heavy and odd on my finger, the metal warming from his touch. I held him like I would never let go of him, tasting his gentle mouth, loving everything about him. Jack Phillips, my Jack Phillips. We had been through so much; he had shown me so much. As he kissed me I thought about what would have to happen the next day, the cold water would have to take him, and I couldn't stop it. I made me feel so useless, I wished that I could save him, but what could a silly teenage girl do in a situation like that? He kissed me harder, which pushed the unsavoury thoughts from my mind and all I could think of was my sweet Jack and how his tongue was in my mouth.

"Dit dit dat!" exclaimed the wireless,

"Aw shit," I hissed,

"I'll handle it this time," Jack replied,

He walked over to the wireless, I watched him, taking in all of his gorgeous appearance. The low lighting was particularly flattering to him, I nearly swooned looking at him, he stooped to the wireless, one hand on the signal key. I wished that he would hurry up, wanting that hand back on me. He put the earphones on, I felt impatient, he started tapping at the signal key, then he narrowed his eyes and then looked back to me.

"Rachel," he whispered, "I think you broke the wireless."

**A/N: More at some point, I don't have an awful lot of time at the minute sorry for the short chapter and all that, but I am very busy, but I did a lot of story planning today! Hopefully you will enjoy it all!**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Thanks to Classicmovielover for the review! Where I live, there are always Titanic books , I am just lucky! Today was the European Heritage Open Days, so what does that mean? Titanic stuff! Got to see the Nomadic again! And I got to go into the Thompson dock where the Titanic was fitted out, class stuff but there were some stupid people about, tour girl asks "What was the Titanic's older sister called?" and some loser said "Uhh, the Lusitania..." I just had to look at my wee brother in shock, we were both horrified, but apart from that it was an awesome day! Got to pet an owl, so now onto the story...**

**Chapter 33**

**Rachel's POV**

"What?!" I exclaimed, looking at him in shock,

"It's broken," he said, with a shrug of his shoulders, looking amazingly calm about it,

"I broke it?" I whispered, my hands over my mouth,

"Rachel," he said, glancing back at me, "It wasn't your fault, I just said it for laughs," he sighed before continuing, "it broke in the past anyway, it had to happen again."

"But this time you know how to fix it, right?" I asked nervously,

"It will still take an awful long time," he said, looking frustrated.

I glanced at the clock, five minutes until two in the morning.

"Harry should be..." I started, wanting to explain how our fellow wireless operator would be here soon, but before I could finish Harold Bride burst into the room.

Both Jack and I looked over at him; he seemed surprised to see me at this time of night.

"Rachel and I are engaged," Jack smiled,

"Oh..." replied Harry,

"And I broke the wireless," I said with an awkward laugh,

"Oh!" he repeated louder, glaring at me in a jokey manner.

"Harry," Jack said, drumming his fingers on the desk, "Could you take a look at the wireless while I walk Miss Rachel to her room?"

"Yes," said Harry with a sigh, rolling his green eyes,

Jack took my hand, pulling me towards the door,

"Can't have you breaking anything more," Jack smiled, raising an eyebrow.

I tried to glare at him, but a smile broke through instead, I just couldn't be angry at him. We walked out of the officers' quarters, onto the deck. There were still lights on in parts of the ship despite the late hour, so parts of the dark deck were lit up by the yellow lights from inside. It was cold, so I stayed close to Jack, we had left the wireless room quickly, so Jack wasn't wearing a coat, I pressed myself against him, it was lovely feeling his warmth through his thin shirt. He put his arm around my shoulders as he could tell that I was cold.

"Nice night isn't it?" he asked, his breath showing as fog due to the cold air,

"Yes, it is," I smiled, putting my head against his shoulder.

The sky was clear without clouds to cover up the stars that shone brightly through the blackness. There was a light icy wind that cut across the deck, but there was no rain. The next day would be very different, at two o'clock on April the fifteenth, our ship would be nearly gone, bending under the pressure of the water, unable to resist. Jack had started to step away from me, a sly look on his handsome face.

"I'd better get back," Jack said, "Harry will be needing help..."

He gave me a quick smile, knowing that I would protest to him leaving.

"No, husband-to-be," I said, pulling him by the arm towards me,

"Can't stand me leaving, wife-to-be?" he laughed,

"Of course not," I whispered,

"Well, don't be too long," he said, "We have a big day tomorrow, you will need to have slept well for it."

"Way to remind me," I said, narrowing my eyes at him, though he probably wouldn't be able to see it too well in the dim light.

"Awk, shush Rachel," he said, I could see that he was smiling confidently.

I pressed my head into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck, hoping that he wasn't too cold, hoping that he wasn't in a hurry to get back to the wireless.

"Are you cold?" he asked, his breath warm on my neck,

"No," I said, even though I was slightly, my thin dress really wasn't enough to keep out the cold wind, but I feared if I complained about the cold me may tell me to just go to bed, as always with him, I wanted it to last forever.

"You're a brave girl, you'll be alright," he whispered, it was barely audible.

I knew I would cry is he kept that sort of talk up, so I looked up at him and forced a smile.

"Everything will be okay," I said, trying to sound confident,

"Yes." He replied.

He kissed my forehead, before letting go of me, holding only to my hand with the ring on it,

"Goodnight," he said, kissing the ring and letting go of my hand gently.

He quickly walked off,

"Goodnight!" I called after him, hoping that he would hear, _I_ had wanted him to stay longer, I wanted him to stay forever.

I sighed to myself; I was feeling the cold now that Jack had left. I wrapped my arms around myself to retain heat and walked along the deck, heading to the maids' room. It was extremely late, so I had to be very quiet when I was sneaking along the hallways, I removed my shoes and padded along the empty corridors with only my stockings on my feet, the lino covered floor was cold, but I felt it was necessary not to wake anyone up. I slipped into the room, opening the door slowly; it was at this moment that I regretted picking the bed furthest into the corner. I couldn't switch on the light, so I had to make the journey across the room in fear of tripping over something. I had to get undressed in the dark, making sure that I was quiet was very difficult. Once I was finished I lay down on the bed, pulling the sheets up to my chest, brushing my hand against my face and feeling the metal of the ring, adding to my feelings of excitement and fear.

"I'm not scared," I told myself over and over again, wishing I could forget the date, wishing that I wouldn't have to endure the sinking of the Titanic.

The bed was warm and I was tired, the gentle snores of the stewardesses reminded me that I should sleep. I turned to face the wall, the sheets bunched in my hands and I fell asleep far more easily than I expected I would, and as always morning came far too quickly.

"Rachel," a female voice whispered, waking me up,

"Piss off," I muttered as I had forgotten where I was,

"What?" the voice asked, sounding insulted.

I suddenly felt wide awake, remembering where I was, I opened my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jessie," I whispered to my friend as she stood above me with a shocked expression,

"It's fine," she said slowly,

I laughed it off as I got up. Jessie helped me make myself presentable in the bathroom, I saw her reflected in the mirror, her gentle expression and her kind eyes.

"You're beautiful, Jessie," I blurted, perhaps I was getting overly emotional.

"Aw thank you," she smiled, "You are too hard on yourself!"

She pointed at the mirror where both of us were reflected.

"Look," she said, "You have lovely brown eyes, beautiful hair and you are much more pretty than you give yourself credit for, though I do think I have helped you, without me, I don't know what you would be like!"

"And I thank you," I said quietly, examining myself in the mirror.

I had hidden my hand from her so that she wouldn't ask about my engagement; I didn't think that I would be able to put up with the stress of talking about it, combined with the horrific events that the day would bring. Despite my fears I still looked better than what I was used to, my eyes shone a brighter brown that they did when I was at home in Belfast, one hundred years in the future. I considered myself a moment longer, not really liking to give into vanity, but I could see improvements in myself, despite everything, I did really look healthier and happier.

"See?" Jessie asked, as she had seen me staring at myself,

"You're right," I smiled,

With that we walked out the deck, I waved Jessie off and I went to see Jack.

**A/N: As I was writing this the BBC proms in the Titanic slipway were on the radio and they were playing music from Titanic, very inspirational, they are playing 'Nearer my God to Thee' now, I'm going to cry :S, I get very emotional from these things. More tomorrow, I have so little time these days, it's awful .**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: The person who thought the Lusitania was the Titanic's sister ship wasn't even a kid, they were an adult, what an idiot! To my number one fan, I make things sad? Oops, XD, sure you can go to Belfast sometime, it's the ultimate place for anyone who likes Titanic!**

**Chapter 34**

**Jack's POV**

I was so tired; I put my head down on the table due to exhaustion. I had just written down an ice warning that we had received from a ship called the 'Caronia', but I was far too exhausted to leave it to the bridge. Harry had gone away to get food, he had stayed up most of the night with me, helping me to fix the wireless, I had known what was wrong with it, one of the coils had burnt out from all the usage, but annoyingly I could not remember which one, this meant that the whole wireless had to be taken apart until we could find the broken one. The repairs had taken so long that I didn't get any sleep.

"Hello, Jack," I heard Rachel's voice but I kept my head down on my folded arms on the table,

"Are you awake, Jack?" she asked, she was tapping me on the shoulder,

I groaned at her, making her laugh,

"You are awake then," she giggled.

I sat up slowly, stretching as I did so, Rachel smiled at me.

"Could you…" I started with a grin,

"What is it, my love?" she asked, looking hopeful,

"Leave this wireless message to the bridge for me?" I said, I saw the disappointment in her face.

"Sure," she said, taking the message from the 'Caronia' out from under the ship in a bottle.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked her, worrying that she would be too tired, like me, to endure the long night ahead of us.

"I did," she said, smiling at me, "But that doesn't mean that this can't be my last day…"

"Look, Rachel," I said, attempting to be calm, "You aren't going to die."

She shrugged and smiled, as if she knew more than me.

"You are going to get on a lifeboat, then get on the 'Carpathia', it's not that hard…" I said, fearing that I would lose my temper, I was tired and stressed, I didn't need this,

"Oh yeah," she said, a sneer on her face, "I'll just get into a lifeboat and let you die! That's what all the good girls do."

"You have to, you know that," I replied, looking away from her, "Besides it is only right that a lady gets into a lifeboat and the men stay behind."

"What a load of shit, Jack." She said, glaring at me,

"Well," I looked back at her, "that is the way of it in this day and age,"

"You really can't expect me to…" she started,

"Expect you to?" I interrupted her, "I don't expect anything, I know, I know that you will survive tonight, you must, I tell you now, you will."

"Don't be so sure that you know everything," she said, still looking deeply annoyed, "I think I can still surprise you…"

She smiled before walking out the door with the wireless message. I sighed to myself, I had handled that badly and I knew it.

**Rachel's POV**

That had been awful, Jack just didn't seem to understand, I mean, how could he expect me to stand by and let him die? I couldn't do that. I wasn't like that. Besides I was a wireless officer and I felt as if I had a duty to both him and the people of the ship. I knew that Jack would tell me that it didn't matter, that the people weren't real, that they were dead anyway, that he was dead anyway, but I couldn't feel that way. After what I had seen, it was impossible to think about going back to my normal life after what I had seen. Everything had been changed by what I had experienced in this place, I was a different person. I went up to the bridge and handed the message to an officer that I didn't recognise; I didn't even feel up to asking him his name.

"Thank you," he smiled,

I nodded before quickly walking off, by the time I got back to the Marconi room, Harry was there as well, and so Jack and I could not continue our argument. We ate breakfast in silence, Jack glancing over at me occasionally. Eventually Harry seemed to get annoyed at us,

"Right," he said, looking between the two of us, "what are you both so gloomy about?"

"Gloomy? I…" I started, not knowing how to explain the situation,

"It's nothing, Harry," Jack said, forcing a smile, "I'm just very tired and I'm sure Rachel is too."

"Yeah," I said, forcing a laugh, "that is it exactly! I was so excited about my engagement that I forgot to sleep!"

"Yes," Harry sighed with a smile, "I am very tired as well! It was a very late night last night!"

"I assume tonight can only be worse," said Jack with a slightly evil looking smile, that frightened me slightly,

"Why would that be?" Harry asked, obvious innocence in his eyes,

"Oh, we will have a lot of passenger messages to send, due to the fact we got barely any done last night with the wireless breaking and all that," Jack said with a sweet smile, his eyes closed,

"Yes," said Harry, looking downwards, "since you are so tired I will take over for you early, at twelve instead of two."

"That is very nice of you, Harry," Jack said, a genuine smile on his face,

"Anything for a friend!" Harry laughed; he was a truly kind person.

I sat with Jack for the next couple of hours, we barely said a word to each other, at around quarter to two, just before he got off duty, we got another ice warning, this time it was from a ship called the 'Baltic', so Jack sent me off to the bridge again. This time I was able to see officer Lightoller.

"What is it this time?" he asked me as I handed him the message,

"Another ice warning, sir," I said, trying to sound really calm,

"You sound worried, Miss Sparks," he said, obviously I hadn't sounded as calm as I had wanted to,

"Slightly," I admitted, letting my nervousness show a bit more,

"Why ever so?" he asked, looking confused at me,

I had to think of an excuse quickly, "My first voyage, sir, and I have heard that ice can damage ships awfully."

"Well, Rachel," he smiled, "This ship is very safe, I could not imagine anything happening to it."

"As you have told me before, sir," I smiled, it amazed me how sure he was, but then again, the Titanic sinking really was the unthinkable happening.

"Have a nice day," he said, before waving me off.

Within a few minutes I was back in the wireless room and Jack was nearly ready to get off duty,

"I got another ice warning," he said, looking up at me as I entered,

"Do you want me to leave it to the bridge?" I asked,

"Don't bother," he said, waving his arm, "Harry can deal with it."

"Okay," I said, sitting down next to him.

Jack went back to sending passenger messages without speaking. I rested my head on my hand, disappointed at how Jack was acting; I thought that he would understand. Fifteen minutes later we were out on deck and Harry had taken over the wireless. Jack and I leaned on the railing on deck and stared out to sea, the sky was cloudless and strongly blue, matching the ocean that stretched endlessly in every direction. Jack still wasn't speaking.

"I really wouldn't mind," I said, my speech seeming sudden over the silence, there was no one around,

"Wouldn't mind what?" he asked, finally looking at me,

"Dying with you," I replied, forcing a smile, pretending to be brave,

"Well I do mind," he said, glaring slightly, "then all of this would have been for nothing, we will have wasted so much if you don't live, you have to live."

"But this has been like living!" I tried to explain, "I haven't ever felt so alive! It is amazing being here with you, it won't be right without you!"

"But, you see," he said, looking back to the sea, "you have to go back, to your family, to everyone that cares about you."

"I know, but…" I tried to speak,

"But nothing!" he protested, turning to me again and grasping my hands in his, he had a frantic look in his blue eyes, "I love you and you have to live, I'm doing this because I love you and you deserve to live!"

"You can't make decisions for me." I said, trying to sound as if I had authority,

"You know that's not what I want to do," he said, sounding quite sad.

We both fell silent, still holding onto the other's hands.

"Remember not to tell the 'Californian' to shut up," I said, smiling again,

"Ah yes," Jack smiled, "I'll not make that mistake again, it was awful rude of me."

**A/N: Well that's all for today dear readers, I would like to shout out to my good friend Louise, who actually reads this, she is an amazing friend and she puts up with so much crap from me. I look forward to seeing you at school tomorrow Louise, see you then! XD Hope everyone survives until my next chapter, because stuff is going to get pretty exciting!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Thanks for the review Louise XD, I lav you! And to HourGlassMage, I am glad you are glad that I wrote this story, even though you reviewed the first chapter and you may never see this!**

**Oh Classicmovielover, on the thought of people being stupid about the Titanic, there is a boy in my history class and I overheard him saying to someone "Only 100 people have seen Titanic!" I think he meant the wreck, but that doesn't stop me and my friend Louise mocking him with quotes from Titanic 1997 slightly changed, like, "But this ship can't be seen!" "She's made of iron, sir, I assure you, she can," and "Rose, you can see the Mauritania, but you can't see Titanic!" Invisible Titanic boy is very annoying, but amazingly he got the highest in the year in history, beating me by a few marks, bad times, boy thinks Titanic has only been seen by 100 people, beats me at history, makes me very sad. I should stop talking now, because it is story time!**

**Chapter 35**

**Rachel's POV**

My final day on Titanic was a lovely one. After a walk on the deck, Jack and I got a late lunch from the first class kitchens, before returning to the deck to sit on the steamer chairs and eat together. We were in a far better mood with each other now, but I could tell that Jack was exhausted. I let him sleep for a bit on the deckchair while I walked by myself after I had returned the dishes we had used to the kitchens. It was around four o'clock in the afternoon by the time I was walking and there were far more people around than there had been earlier, some passengers spoke of a church service that they had went to, but I was too distracted to eavesdrop. I reached a point between the third and fourth funnels, counting along them with one finger, feeling rather childish, yet strangely happy.

"Smoke, smoke, smoke, dummy," I whispered in reference to the huge stacks of yellow and black, gently leaning back with tightly pulled cables helping to hold them in place. They were far more impressive than can be imagined, far bigger than photographs suggest.

Between the third and forth funnels is where the ship broke in two, I imagined the solid wood under my feet snapping, the monstrous groan of strained metal tormented by tons of water. I gripped the railing in terrified fascination.

"Tonight will look..." I thought to myself, "amazing!"

The sky was getting more orange coloured as the sun started to slip below the horizon. I knew I would have to return to Jack. I found him awake, still on the deck chair, lying back, but his eyes still looked tired.

"You didn't sleep well, did you?" I asked, sitting down on the wooden deck chair next to him.

"I didn't," he said bluntly,

"I didn't think you would," I whispered, hoping that I sounded concerned,

"It's nearly eight," he said, looking at me and making me realize how long I must have been wandering around for, "we should get back to the wireless room."

"Yes, we should," I said, standing up and taking his hand to help him up.

"Titanic's last sunset," Jack whispered, pointing out to the horizon where the vibrant sun was being concealed by the ocean.

I sighed, it was so beautiful and so sad, other couples were walking about the ship, looking content in each other's company, but Jack and I weren't like them. Everyone on this ship had one thing in common for sure, tonight would change their lives, possibly ending them. Jack and I were burdened with knowing this.

"Let's go," I told him, linking arms with him as we walked.

When we got to the wireless room, Harry informed us of a message that he was going to leave to the bridge,

"It's from this ship the 'Californian', they seem quite close," he said as he opened the door, "Another ice warning, I'll leave it to the bridge, then I'm coming back to sleep for a bit."

"Sure thing," Jack smiled as we both sat down at the desk.

Jack let me send messages for the first two hours of his shift, in this time we received an ice warning from a ship called the 'Mesaba' at around twenty to ten. I wrote the message down in pencil in my messy handwriting, and then I placed the paper under the ship in a bottle for dealing with later. Harry's gentle snores came from behind the curtained off area, he had fallen asleep practically as soon as he got back from the bridge delivering his message. Jack handed me messages to send, there were so many of them, but Jack's sweet smile encouraged me to keep sending, I couldn't do as many words per minute as Jack or Harry, but I was getting better all the time, not that it would be much use soon. At night time the wireless had a stronger signal, so were able to reach the 'Cape Race' station on land hundreds of miles away. The messages were all quite dull though and mostly from people arranging transport for when they arrived in New York,

"Please have my car waiting for me!" one said, they were all quite similar to that, or else boasts of being on the world's greatest and grandest liner, though they wouldn't be on it for much longer.

At ten I removed the earphones and handed them to Jack as we swapped seats, my legs stiff from sitting for that long period of time. I gave him a quick kiss and he laughed kindly, I knew that he liked it. Jack's use of wireless telegraphy was much more impressive than mine, he looked as if he was barely paying any attention, yet he was still much faster than me! But I wasn't jealous; I could only feel proud of him.

"It sure shows that you are the best in the world." I informed him between messages,

"I know," he smiled jokingly, "damn, I'm good!"

At twenty past eleven Jack removed the earphones and looked over at me,

"The 'Californian' should message us in ten minutes," he said, sounding almost nervous,

"This is your chance," I smiled, "don't be nervous about it, just be polite!"

"They are so close that I'm not putting the earphones on, it would be too loud," he said,

"Are you ready for this, Rachel?" a familiar woman's voice laughed, it echoed around the room "survive the sinking and get your life back!"

I could not tell which direction the voice came from and Jack didn't seem to notice. I felt cold fingers on my shoulder, not like the comforting cold that Jack had had when he was my angel, and I turned to see the face of the lady in white, that demonic angel.

"He's going to die," she smiled, her perfect features pulled into a cruel smile, cool blue eyes glinting and straight white teeth slightly showing past pale pink lips.

"Shut up!" I screamed, unable to bear her, screwing my eyes up so I didn't have to look at her.

"Rachel?" Jack asked, concern obvious in his voice,

I looked back to him; he had a confused expression on his face.

I felt helpless, "Jack, the lady in white, she..."

I turned to face her again but she was gone,

"She really doesn't like us," Jack said quietly, his eyes facing down as he contemplated this,

"I know," I felt extremely annoyed, "she's a bitch."

Jack laughed at my insult, as it was really not enough to describe that woman; we heard Harry let out a tired groan.

"Do you want me to take over yet?" Harry called out; I must have woken him with my shrieking,

"Not yet," was Jack's reply,

"Right," Harry replied, sounding relieved that he could lie in bed a while longer.

Suddenly we heard loud Morse coming from the earphones, the suddenness of it made me jump, Jack stared at the earphones in surprise, before grinning.

"The 'Californian'," Jack smiled,

I wrote the message down; it was so loud I had no need for the earphones.

"I say old man we are stopped and surrounded by ice," was the message,

"Good evening, thank you old man, what's up?" Jack replied quickly,

"Last message for the night, powering down now, good night," the other operator messaged back,

"No wait..." Jack started messaging, but there was no reply,

"I can't believe it!" Jack exclaimed, "He switched the wireless off anyway!"

"Well, at least you have redeemed yourself now," I said, putting my hand on his.

"That's true," he smiled; he looked far calmer now than he had a couple of minutes prior. There was nothing that he could have done.

I glanced at the clock, twenty five minutes to twelve, five minutes to the iceberg.

**A/N: What's that, in the distance? It's not an iceberg is it? I'll not make a big long author's note here too!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Thanks to Louise for the review, I'm glad you think it's exciting, old girl :P, thanks to Number one fan, I am glad that you are excited as well, just trying my best as always! Thanks to Upsidowngirl, you think it's unique and well written? You flatter me, good luck with school and I'm glad you took the time to read my story, I will keep writing! So... onto the story my lovely readers!**

**Chapter 36**

**Rachel's POV**

Without another word I walked out onto the deck, the lights were dimmed at the front of the ship to make the ice easier to see, not that it would be much help on this night. I walked to the railing at the side of the ship, as I had done so many times before, my breath fogged in the cold air and the metal railing drew the heat from my skin. I closed my eyes and imagined the look-outs up in the crow's nest.

"Their eyes would be bright in the darkness," I thought, "staring out at the blackness in front of them. The still ocean making the horizon difficult to make out, only the stars to distinguish it from the water. Then they would see it." I gripped the railing tighter, "The huge mass of solid ice," I whispered, I could feel myself trembling with anticipation for what would come, I was scared, but strangely excited, this was something that I never imagined I would ever see of experience, the Titanic hitting the iceberg.

Nervousness had a grip on me "'What do you see?'" Officer Moody would ask as he spoke on the telephone with lookout Fleet, 'Iceberg, right ahead!' would be the reply that no one wanted to hear." In my mind I could hear Officer Murdoch giving the order for "Hard to starboard!" The couple of frantic seconds in which they attempt to reverse the ship, to steer around the iceberg, but it wasn't enough. Under my feet I felt the vibration of the engines, then there was a sudden judder, a slight shaking and I jumped back from the railing as a huge iceberg was passed by the ship, it scraped along the side, giant pieces of ice cascading down onto the deck, shards of ice breaking away from the larger pieces and flying in all directions. As suddenly as the berg had appeared, it was gone as the ship shot past it. The only sign I could see of an iceberg was the mess that it had created on the deck. I ran and picked up a piece of it and as I did so, the vibrations beneath my feet stopped.

**Jack's POV**

I continued to send the passenger messages so that Harry didn't think that there was anything wrong, there was no point in making my friend panic, and I had to keep up the illusion of me being as clueless about what was going on as he was. The ship hitting the iceberg could hardly be felt, just a gentle shaking, it was the engines stopping that would be noticed. Harry got out of bed and pulled the curtain back,

"Have the engines stopped?" he asked, looking confused and tired,

"I believe so," I replied,

Harry let out a disappointed sigh, "this will delay the journey and there will be a ton more messages."

"There will be more messages," I said,

"Do you want me to take over?" he asked, rubbing his eyes,

"You can do the accounts, and then take over at twelve, as we had planned." I smiled to myself, knowing that by the time twelve midnight came, the last thing we would care about would be our accounts.

Rachel came into the room quietly, one hand behind her back and her eyes cast down.

"Any idea what is going on?" Harry asked her, a hopeful look in his eyes,

"Yes," Rachel said, I tried to make eye contact with her, hoping that she wouldn't tell Harry the ship was sinking yet.

"And?" Harry asked, as there had been a pause, he was obviously curious for an answer.

Rachel took her hand out from behind her back, in her clenched fist, dripping with water, was a piece of ice.

"Ice," she said, looking from Harry to me.

She set the ice on the table, away from the mechanics and paper though.

"Ice?" Harry repeated, considering it, his eyes looking upwards.

"Has the ship struck ice?" I asked, attempting to sound casual and as if I didn't already know,

"I believe so," replied Rachel, she raised an eyebrow at me,

"We will be on our way in an hour or so," Harry sighed, seeming irritated at the delay and the probability of sending more passenger messages.

Rachel sat down next to me; she did so slowly, her eyes turned to me.

"You didn't get hurt out there, did you?" I asked her, scanning her quickly for injuries,

"No," she smiled, "my hands are just a little cold from the ice."

"Ah," I smiled, pulling my leather gloves out from my trouser pocket and handing them to her.

"Thank you!" she grinned as I helped her put them on, her hands much smaller than mine, so the gloves fitted easily on over her slender fingers and the ring. Her hands were cold, so I held them in mine, smiling sweetly.

"I wonder if it is serious." Harry said from behind us, we turned to face him, "The damage, I mean, we've had no word yet, is that good or bad?"

"We'll see soon," I replied, finding it difficult to look at him for too long, as I felt guilty as it felt as though I were lying to him.

Harry was about to say something when Captain Smith entered the room, we all stared at him in stunned silence for what felt like forever, then he looked at me, his blue eyes looked devoid of emotion, as if he were miles away.

"Send out the call for distress," he said, looking very definite and handing me a page with the ship's co-ordinates on it.

I heard Rachel let out a little gasp, she was nervous, I wanted to comfort her, tell her not to be scared, but I had the captain to deal with, this was my duty and it had to be done.

"CQD, sir?" I asked, sounding extremely polite,

"Yes, CQD, tell them we have struck ice and we are going down by the head," he said, looking slightly less sure, as if what was happening was only starting to hit him. Hearing these words was no easier than I had been the first time, I still felt deeply shocked, a feeling in my stomach like I needed to be sick.

"Or," chirped Harry, coming over and standing next to me, "you could use the new call, SOS, it could be your only chance to use it!"

Strangely, we all laughed, even the captain, who then nodded and left the room. It was still like no one believed that the ship could sink, even though it was occurring.

"Well, I'd better send it then," I smiled, before battering the message out on the signal key, making sure to keep an air of calm about me.

"CQD," Rachel said to Harry, "that means 'come quickly danger', right?"

"No," Harry shook his head, "'CQ' means 'be quiet and listen!' and 'D' means 'Distress'."

"Ah right," she said, "So SOS means 'Save Our Souls' though, doesn't it?"

"No again!" Harry laughed, "Your wireless training must have been awful! You obviously haven't learned anything from me! SOS was picked as the new call because it's so easy to send and to hear! Three dots, three dashes, three dots, easy, anyone could understand SOS, it doesn't actually mean anything."

"That makes sense now, I guess," she said, looking slightly embarrassed at not knowing that.

I listened to them talk, it helped me to keep a steady head, Rachel's broad Northern Irish accent and Harry's more gentle English accent starkly contrasted, but I enjoyed listening to them, it helped me to act as I should, as I had before, like a hero, but it was past midnight and I had sent the first distress call, now all I could do was wait for the moment of my death to come, again.

**A/N: Louise wrote on my fanfic as I was writing in school, can't trust you! It says "Hey Hannah's fanfic!" So I shall reply, Hannah's fanfic says "Hey Louise!" Sorry to ruin the drama, you all must be so excited... or not.**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: writing this during a free period at school and Louise told me to mention her, so Hey Louise! Thank you to Classicmovielover for the review, in reply to Hourglassmage, you are so sweet! I nearly cried you are so sweet and you are a very fast reader! Thank you to Upisdowngirl, I'm glad you think it's sad, that is probably a strange thing to say, but keep enjoying it my lovely readers!**

**Chapter 37**

**Rachel's POV**

"That's the distress message sent," Jack smiled, he didn't look nervous at all; "we should be getting a reply soon."

"This is turning out to be a very exciting night!" Harry laughed, obviously not understanding the seriousness of the situation.

Jack was putting on a good act, seeming every bit an Edwardian hero, confident and selfless, but I knew that he had to be scared; I didn't understand how he couldn't be. The ice that I had set on the desk was melting quickly as the room was warm, forming a pool of water. I tried not to feel tense, I wanted to be brave like Jack, but each time I thought I was calm; fear would reopen in me like an old wound, making me tremble pathetically, I hoped that Jack and Harry would not notice. A German ship called the 'Frankfurt' messaged us,

"Ok, standby," is what they had said in reply to our distress message,

"Are they coming to help?" Harry asked, smiling with excitement,

"I think they are too far away," Jack said with a sigh after writing the message down.

Suddenly there was a horrible sound from above us, I clutched my ears trying to block out the loudness,

"What is that?!" I shouted to Jack, worried that the ship was sinking faster than before, that we didn't have much time left,

"It's the steam being released from the funnels!" he shouted back,

"I'm going out to see what is happening!" Harry shouted to us,

"Maybe you should get dressed first…" I tried to tell him, but he was already out the door.

I moved my chair so that I could be closer to Jack and hear anything that he might say,

"Harry is going to be awful cold out on the deck in his pyjamas!" I said loudly,

Jack responded with a smile, I put my hand on his arm, he was sending more messages.

"Are you scared?" I asked him, leaning in so that he could hear me,

"No," he said bluntly, "this is my duty, after what I have seen there is no point in being scared."

"Are you sure you believe that?" I asked, doubting that he could be on a sinking ship and facing death and yet not be afraid,

"The only person that I am afraid for is you," he said, looking me in the eyes, "I am not scared for myself."

"I'm sure I can look after myself…" I started, still having to speak loudly despite how close I was to him,

"You have to get in a lifeboat and leave," he said, ignoring the fact that I even spoke,

"But the captain hasn't said I can go yet," I smiled, "so until then I will stay here with you."

"No," he said, narrowing his eyes, "Harry and I can deal with this, you will go,"

"Make me!" I said with a laugh,

"I will," Jack said with a shrug,

"I don't like the sound of that," I said,

He did not reply, he turned away from me back to the wireless,

"Jack…" I said, wondering if he had not heard me, but then I became sure that he was ignoring me.

"Jack, I'm a girl from the twenty-first century," I said, tapping his shoulder, "I am not going to just do something because you tell me to, I am my own person, and I can make my own decisions…"

Jack sighed and turned to face me again, "This isn't about you having to be a hero, you don't have to be a hero," he said, his eyes pleading with me, "you have to live, for me, or else I have failed you as an angel."

"You aren't my angel anymore, Jack," I said, "that stopped the moment we got to this place; we are both wireless operators doing our duty!"

It was difficult to have this sort of conversation about life and death when the funnels were making such an awful racket, but we continued anyway.

Jack sighed at me again, "This isn't even real," he said, "just a nasty illusion created by a nasty angel,"

"It hasn't all been nasty," I replied, "most of it has been quite nice, a truly amazing experience, one that I never could have dreamed of, I've never felt so alive!"

"So you must survive, so you can go home to your little brother and tell him all about it," Jack said, knowing that the reference to my younger sibling would hurt me, Ciaran would have loved to have seen this, but instead he had to endure his sister slowly dying.

I felt my eyes tear up, I had been lumped with making a horrible choice, be lost to my family or lose my one love. I felt sick, Jack just continued to look at me, he wanted me to tell him that I would live for him, but I couldn't say that, I didn't know how things would end up.

"It shouldn't be a hard choice, Rachel," he said, "Chose life or death."

"Such melodrama, Jack!" I said, loudly forcing a laugh,

He looked annoyed, "It's not..." he started, before being interrupted by the wireless.

It wasn't as loud as the 'Californian' had been, plus Jack was wearing the earphones and the funnels were being noisy, so I couldn't hear it all. I could tell that Jack was straining to hear it over all the sound; his eyes were screwed up in concentration as he noted the message and started replying quickly.

"What are they saying?" I asked, anxious to find out who it was,

"The 'Carpathia," Jack said loudly, with smile, "He asked me if I knew that the Cape Race station were sending messages for me, so I told him that we need help."

Jack narrowed his eyes again as the 'Carpathia' replied to him,

"He asks if he should tell his captain, he wants to know if he need help," Jack said, a glint in his eyes,

"Hurry and tell him yes!" I said, leaning in close to him,

"Of course I will," Jack laughed.

As suddenly as it had started, the funnels ceased to make a sound. We sat in silence for a moment as Jack sent the message. How quiet it was felt stunning at that, as I had been getting so used to the noise. I lay my head on Jack's shoulder, listening to the hum of the spark and the sharp interruptions as my love sent out a wireless message.

"Oh, Rachel," he said softly, not lifting his eyes from the wireless,

"Oh, Jack," I whispered back, putting my arm around his shoulders and putting my lips to his cheek.

"How did I end up in this mess again?" he murmured, "How did we end up in this mess?"

"Angels, Jack," I whispered, "angels,"

"Of course," he said, he turned to face me, still tapping at the signal key, "The 'Carpathia' will come and rescue you,"

I leaned back from him and tilted my head to show that I was listening,

"Then everything will be okay," he was smiling, but then his voice cracked,

"Aw, shit, Jack," I whispered, giving him a tight hug, hoping that I was being comforting, "don't cry,"

"I'm not crying," he said sternly, my head was pressed to him, so I could not see his facial expression,

"I'm sorry, Jack..." I started, feeling guilty, feeling that I shouldn't have mentioned it,

"There's no point in crying," he whispered, as if I had been the one expressing emotion, whereas I had been bottling it up, trying to brave like him, though it turned out that was not as strong as he had appeared to be.

"Not yet..." I whispered back.

Indeed there was no point in being upset at that point, the night had just begun and there was still a lot left for us to face, but we would face it together.

**A/N: That's it for today! Reviews and stuff are much appreciated!**


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Wait, when did it get to be Chapter 38? Where did my life go? Haha, well thanks to Upisdowngirl for the review, and thanks to the guest who reviewed several of my earlier chapters, though you may never read this, but thanks anyway, I know Chris was a bit of an asshole. Thanks as well to becca for the review!**

**Chapter 38**

**Rachel's POV**

"Things do look quite strange out there," Harry said as he came back into the room, he was carrying a lifejacket, "people are saying we have to put these lifejackets on! There's another two in here, somewhere."

Harry flung the lifejacket onto the bed, it was a bulky item, cork covered with a dull white cloth.

"Take this to the bridge," Jack said, holding the 'Carpathia' message out to him, then Jack looked at him and reconsidered, "Well, maybe you should get dressed first."

"Oh," Harry glanced down at himself, as if he were only noticing that he was wearing his pyjamas, he started to undo the top buttons of his pyjama shirt.

"Not in here!" Jack glared, "go to the silent room!"

Jack pointed to the door of the adjoining room, where most of the wireless equipment was, a confusing jumble of generators, strange batteries and wires.

"But why?" Harry asked, looking confused and pausing for a second, his fingers still on his shirt, the top buttons undone.

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Miss Rachel is here with us," he said slowly.

Harry laughed and picked up his crumpled clothes off the floor, where he must have left them earlier.

"Oh alright then," he smiled to Jack, "I wouldn't want to tempt your fiancée!"

Harry opened the door to the silent room, the noise of all the technology escaping out into the main room, Harry nodded to both Jack and I, then turned and closed the door after him. Jack started sending messages again, his eyes focused, I felt useless.

"Do you want me to leave the message to the bridge?" I asked, just wanting to do something,

Jack shook his head, "leave it to Harry, we might as well spend as much time together as possible,"

"Exactly," I whispered.

Within a couple of moments Harry emerged from the silent room, now fully dressed and straightening his tie, his top button undone.

"Now where is that message?" Harry asked with a smile,

"Here," I said, handing it to him,

"Thank you, Rachel," he said, taking it from me, "I'll give it to the captain."

I waved to him as he left the room,

"They'll be loading the lifeboats soon," Jack said, sounding quite gloomy, his eyes cast down,

"They will," I said, not wanting to say anymore on the subject, I didn't want to go without him.

He probably wanted to talk more about it, but I didn't say anymore. We sat in silence for the next few minutes, waiting on Harry to get back, when he did get back, he looked very concerned.

"The captain looked very worried when he saw that the message said that the 'Carpathia' will take four hours to get here," he said, looking uneasy, "They are getting the women and children into lifeboats, you should update the 'Carpathia' on our situation."

"I will do that," Jack replied,

"This is so strange," Harry whispered to me, his green eyes big with a mix of terror and excitement,

"I know, Harry," I replied, "I just can't wait until it is all over, it is all very stressful."

"I think it might be serious," Harry continued in hushed tones, "I think I heard someone say that it might sink, you should leave, Rachel, this isn't any place for you anymore."

"I think it's serious as well, Harry," I replied, "But I don't want to go just yet."

"Well, think about it," he said, "you might not have the choice later."

"Harry," Jack said, looking up at him suddenly,

"Yes?" was the younger wireless officer's reply,

"Could you take over the wireless set for a couple of moments?" Jack asked, standing up and walking behind my chair, "I want to go out on deck for a bit."

"Of course," Harry said, sitting down where Jack had just got up from,

I looked at Jack, wondering what I was meant to do.

"And you," Jack said, looking at me, "are coming with me!"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, it wasn't rough, but it was sudden and it surprised me.

"Jack, what? Why are we going..." I tried to ask but he pulled me out the door and along the corridor of the officers' quarters, we were nearly in a run he was pulling that hard. I noticed something as he dragged me along, the floor was getting a slight slant, not extremely noticeable yet, but I knew that it was going to get a lot worse.

Jack had one hand tightly around my wrist, it didn't hurt but it was uncomfortable, as soon as Jack opened the door out onto the deck, I saw a flare explode in the sky, the white of the explosion spread through the sky for a moment before fading away. I took my eyes away from the sky for a second to scan the deck, it was quite crowded, officers unwinding ropes from around lifeboats, which now swayed in the wood and metal davits, hanging above the water, orders that I could not understand were being shouted and confused looking passengers stood around the deck.

"Have you seen enough, Jack?" I asked, turning to face him, he was still holding to my wrist,

"No," he replied, looking down at me, "one last thing..."

I could see him studying me for a minute, his hand that wasn't holding me touching the back of my head gently. Then he kissed me, a sweet gentle kiss, I enjoyed it for a second, then I realized what it meant. I pulled away from him, he looked past me. I didn't want this to be it.

"Officer Lightoller," Jack called, looking over the top of my head,

I strained to turn my head, I saw the second officer acknowledge Jack.

"What is it, Sparks?" Lightoller asked,

"Could you make sure that Miss Given gets into a lifeboat?" Jack asked, his voice calm,

"But Jack!" I cried out, struggling to make him let go of me,

"I will," replied Lightoller,

"Thank you," Jack said, "she doesn't want to go, but I'm sure you can convince her."

Lightoller grabbed my free wrist and Jack released my other one,

"Goodbye, Rachel," Jack said with a sad smile, "I'll see you again someday."

"No!" I screamed, reaching my free hand out to try and grab him but he was too far away.

Jack turned and walked back in the direction of the wireless room, not even looking back at me.

"No!" I screamed again, trying to wrestle away from Lightoller,

"Rachel," the second officer said, but I continued to struggle,

"Rachel!" he repeated, I stopped my struggle, knowing that he was far stronger than I,

"Your fellow wireless operator was very forward thinking in leaving you out here to the boats this early," he said, smiling at me, "you will be safe, he obviously cares a lot about you."

"Rachel!" I heard a female voice call from the nearest lifeboat.

I looked over, it was Jessie, she was sitting in the boat, holding a baby wrapped in a blanket,

"Who is that baby?" I called over to her, Lightoller still hadn't let go of me,

"I have no idea!" she yelled back, "someone handed it to me, so I took it!"

Lightoller started leading me over to the boat, Jessie smiled to me, beckoning me to come over and motioning that there was room for me to sit next to her, the people in the boat shifted about uneasily, there were about twenty of them, all women and children, they all seemed to be from the higher end of the ship as well. Another flare shot up into the air and exploded, shockingly white against the darkness of the sky.

"Come on," Lightoller said gently, releasing my wrist once we reached the side of the boat.

Lightoller was slightly behind me, so I could not make a run for it, he would stop me for sure. The lifeboat rocked in the davit, looking very unstable, I swallowed, and put my hands on the side of the boat, Lightoller prepared to help me to climb into it. I looked over my shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jack once more, but I couldn't see him. I felt a tear run down my cheek,

"Shit," I muttered, disappointed at being so weak,

"Rachel, come on!" Jessie called, waving a hand at me, she couldn't see that I was crying, "We'll be getting back on the ship soon enough!"

"Don't be upset," Lightoller said quietly,

I knew that if I left I could not return, I wouldn't see Jack again, so I couldn't leave yet, I knew that I couldn't, not yet. I had to stay, that had not been a proper goodbye, Jack couldn't have expected me to leave after that.

"He knows that I will be back," I thought to myself, "but how can I get out of this?"

**A/N: More tomorrow, or the day after, all depends on how much school work I have, I do most of my writing in school these days, but it is hard to write as Louise is always looking over my shoulder and asking how it ends, but I won't tell her, she may be my best friend, but she still has to wait like everyone else!**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Thank you to Upisdowngirl, you flatter me so much. Enjoy this chapter and all that, reviews are liked, but if you can't be bothered... well that makes me sad, anyway, story!**

**Chapter 39**

**Rachel's POV**

A woman in the boat reached out her hand to help me over into it, but I ignored her, as I had an idea, I wasn't going to get into a lifeboat, that wasn't the kind of thing I did.

"You're scared, aren't you, Officer Lightoller?" I asked, turning to face him, smiling with what I hoped was a knowing smile,

He shook his head, but I pretended that he hadn't,

"Anyone would be scared in this situation! Such responsibility," I said, "all these people depending on you, can't I stay on this lovely ship a while longer?"

"There might not be that much longer," he hissed to me,

"Well," I smiled, "it is around half twelve, and this darling ship of ours won't leave us until, let me think," I placed a finger on my chin and looked into the distance to make it appear as if I were thinking, "twenty past two, sir."

"How could you have possibly figured that out? Not even Mr Andrews knows exactly how long the ship will take to sink!" he whispered, looking shocked,

"Trust me, second officer," I said, then I tried to step past him, but he got in my way.

"You know more," he said quietly, "I want to know what it is and how you know it."

"What makes you think that I know anymore?" I asked, trying to sound innocent, but I knew that I must have just sounded uneasy.

There were more people on the deck now, the women and children being helped into the boat that I was meant to be getting into.

"Girls aren't wireless officers," he said, looking at me accusingly, "you shouldn't be here; I knew that from the day you arrived on this ship! You were not on any of the crew lists and you were always looked amazed at everything that was going on around you on the ship, acting like someone who had never seen a ship before, and yet you speak with a Belfast accent."

"I'm sorry, sir," I said, feeling nervous and caught out,

"I wanted to see why you were here on this ship, pretending to be a wireless operator, asking me if I thought the ship could sink, you knew this would happen," he looked nearly angry, yet he was keeping his voice low,

"I just wanted..." I started, wanting to explain myself.

He grabbed both of my wrists and looked me in the eyes,

"You must have found out how to travel through time, I don't know how, but you did," he hissed, "it makes sense, so tonight must end very badly if someone from the future wants to come back and see it!"

"I am from the future," I whispered,

His expression became kinder, "Don't tell me what happens, I don't need to know if I die."

"No tonight," I replied.

Other officers were helping people into the boat behind us; Lightoller glanced over at them and then released me.

"Good luck on collapsible B, sir!" I smiled,

"Collapsible B?" he said, looking confused,

I nodded; he waved one hand at me,

"Never mind," he smiled, "good luck and goodbye!"

He stepped out of my way, allowing me to go,

"Thank you!" I called as I walked away from him,

"Rachel! Where are you going?!" I heard Jessie scream after me,

I turned around for a second and called back to her, "I have unfinished business! Good luck!"

I had to push past people on the deck as it had now got so full, people in bulky lifejackets crashed into me, but I managed to keep my balance.

"This is insane!" I though, smiling to myself, "by doing that, I might have just killed myself!"

Any thoughts of regret at not entering the lifeboat were wiped from my mind as I reached the door of the officers' quarters. I put my fingers around the handle, opening the door slowly, along the corridor I could see that the door of the wireless room was open slightly, an orange light escaping. I tip-toed up to the door, one hand on the wall to help me keep my balance.

"Both the 'Frankfurt' and the 'Mount Temple' want to help," I heard Jack exclaim, "but they are both too damn far away!"

"At least Rachel is safe," Harry muttered, making me feel horribly guilty.

I put my eye to the crack in the door; Jack was at the desk, the earphones on, his head supported by one hand, the other one on the signal key. Harry sat next to him, facing Jack and looking scared.

"Ten to one," Harry said, he sounded frightened, his voice shaking, "the ship is listing a bit, isn't it?"

"It is," Jack replied, he was writing another message down,

"I'm so glad I saved her," Jack said, smiling to himself sadly,

I sank back slightly, feeling ashamed,

"Yes, Jack," Harry said, "as you said before, there aren't enough lifeboats for everyone, so you had to save the person most important to you, because some must die."

"Exactly, Harry," Jack replied,

"This is so depressing," Harry sighed, "knowing that we will die,"

"You are going to die?" Jack asked,

"I assume so," Harry shrugged,

"Don't be so negative!" my darling fiancé smiled.

Seeing his smile made me grin to myself, I knew that I could not hide myself for much longer.

"At least tonight will be remembered," Jack continued, "even if it is for the wrong reasons."

I felt so horribly guilty; I leaned against the wall and shrank downwards slowly, eventually ending up sitting on the lino floor, unable to look at Jack anymore. I knew he was still sending distress messages though he knew it would do no good, the 'Carpathia' was coming to help, but it was not fast enough.

"I'll see what the captain thinks," I heard Harry say suddenly.

I attempted to scramble away from the door so that he would not see me, but he opened the door and I was sitting on the floor, he stared at me for a second with his mouth open, I just sat and stared back.

"Oh, you idiot," Harry whispered, a look of disbelief on his face,

"What is it?" Jack asked, unable to see me past Harry,

Harry turned his head to look at Jack and sighed,

"What?" Jack asked again,

Harry stepped out of the way, letting Jack see me sitting awkwardly on the floor; I raised one hand in an awkward wave. Jack took a deep breath and stood up; he walked over and stood before me, looking sadly at me for a moment before offering me a hand to help me up.

"Thank you," I whispered as I took his hand and pulled myself up.

"Go, Harry," Jack said to the junior wireless officer,

Harry nodded and left, leaving Jack and I standing together, we were silent for a moment, I couldn't look at him.

"Well, shit," Jack said bluntly,

"I'm sorry, Jack," I said, finally raising my head to look at him, "but that was not a proper goodbye,"

Jack made a strained expression, "We can try again..."

"Shut up!" I said, interrupting him, "you think you know everything because you are dead! But get this, Jack Phillips, I am staying with you!"

"That was very rude," he said quietly, "I don't know what to do."

He sat down again; I leaned against the desk, the solid wood digging into the base of my spine. It was a very tense atmosphere; I had nothing to say as I feared I would annoy him.

"Well..." I started, wanting to start a conversation, hoping that he would forgive me,

Then the pencil that Jack had been using rolled off the table, we both looked at it for a couple of seconds as it lay on the floor, then we looked to each other.

"It's sinking," I said, then instantly feeling stupid for having just stated the obvious,

Jack shrugged and started sending messages again; Harry came back into the room quietly.

"I think you may have wasted your only chance to get into a boat," he whispered to me, "the deck is crowded and many of the boats are already away."

I looked away from him, thinking for a second, then I looked back at him, he seemed so young and scared,

"I don't regret it," I whispered back, "don't be scared, Harry, it'll be okay,"

"I'm glad you can be so positive, Miss Rachel," he said, sounding slightly sarcastic, "but we are on a sinking ship, you could have left, but you didn't,"

"Well," I said, forcing a smile, "I am engaged, 'til death do us part and all that!"

"We aren't even married, Rachel," Jack said, chipping in,

I turned and glared at him jokingly,

"There was me giving a little happy speech to help keep some positivity about and you ruined it!" I told him with a smile,

"You deserved it!" Jack said, I could see that he was holding a laugh in,

Harry smiled, "It's so strange that I can feel this happy on a sinking ship, but that is what friends do to you."

I laughed, but I did feel happy, even though I had annoyed Jack, even though I may have brought about my own death, I still felt happy.

**A/N: Well, that's me done for today, got my braces tightened and they hurt, so I'm not in the mood to write anymore... but maybe tomorrow! See you all then!**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: To upisdowngirl, braces are horrible and that's the bottom line, they still hurt, makes me very slow at eating and I may starve to death... well here's more of the story, I actually have 41 written as well, but I'll upload it at a later point, I'm just too lazy right now, it's 5 to one in the morning, I should really go to bed...**

**Chapter 40**

**Jack's POV**

She was an idiot, but I didn't want to tell her. It was nearly one o'clock when I saw Rachel again. I had been hoping that she would have been made to get into a boat, but it seems Lightoller was too weak. She said that I had not said goodbye well enough, but if I had told her,

"This is it, Rachel, I won't see you again until you die!" she never would have accepted it and she wouldn't have wanted to hear it.

So I had tried to make it quick, to sever myself from her as swiftly as possible, to get it over with. Though obviously it had not worked, but I never expected that seventeen years together would have counted for nothing, of course she would not want to leave. Rachel and Harry chatted to each other for a bit, I heard snippets of them talking over the messages I was getting from the 'Carpathia'. The 'Carpathia' was going at a speed of seventeen nautical miles per hour, but of course it was not fast enough. In fact it was not even meant to go that fast, but the captain had ordered all surplus energy use to be stopped, which resulted in more power to the engines and a faster speed.

"We have an hour and twenty minutes to say goodbye," Rachel said,

"How do you know that?" Harry asked her,

"Educated guess," she shrugged,

Harry laughed to himself, "I know what we need at this gloomy time!"

He kneeled down on the floor and reached under the bed, pulling a bag out. He sat on the floor and set the bag on his lap before opening it; I couldn't help but watch him. He took out a brown bottle of some kind of alcohol, the cigarettes and some more matches. He drank straight from the bottle, took a cigarette out and slid it between his teeth; he tossed another to me, then stood up and popped a third one into Rachel's slightly open mouth.

"But I don't smoke!" she protested, moving one hand to remove it from her mouth.

Harry gently batted her hand down,

"Don't think it's very ladylike, do you?" he laughed,

"No, but…" she started,

Her worried expression was really quite sweet, so I smiled,

"Go on, Rachel," I said, "there's no harm in it!"

"Yes there is!" she wailed,

"Rachel," I said in a low whisper as Harry lit a match, "in this day and age, people don't know smoking is bad for them, and anyway it's not real."

Rachel nodded and smiled the cigarette still between her delicate lips.

Harry had already lit his and he lit mine for me, then he waved the match out before lighting a new one for Rachel. Immediately she pulled it from her mouth, coughing. Harry and I laughed at her; I took a drag from the cigarette, breathing the smoke out slowly.

"I remember when I was like that," I smiled, "so long ago,"

"I wasn't like that when I started," Harry said, folding his arms, "I've been at it for years, never coughed once."

Rachel meekly took a drag on it, her eyes watering as she spluttered on the smoke.

"Are you okay, my girl?" I asked, patting her back,

"Yes," she replied with a smile, "I would just like some air; it's awful smoky in here."

"I wonder how that happened." Harry laughed, breathing more smoke out into the clouded air of the wireless room.

I got up and took her hand, to lead her out onto the deck once more.

"Don't be trying anymore of that lifeboat business," she said as we walked hand in hand along the corridor, the slant in the ground could now be felt quite easily.

"Not this time," I replied, I had taken the cigarette out of my mouth, holding it in one hand, my other hand wrapped around her small hand. Her cigarette was still in her mouth, I could see its red glow in the dim light of the corridor.

"Can I see the ring once more?" I whispered, once we had reached the door that led out onto the deck, I could hear all the noise coming through the door and I wasn't ready to experience the chaos just yet.

Without another word, she took her hand from mine and slid the leather glove off her left hand, I raised her hand before my eyes, seeing the diamond sparkle despite the low levels of light, I kissed her pale fingers, feeling the soft skin against my lips. She smiled, and then gently closed her eyes; she looked as if she were treasuring the moment, as if by closing her eyes we could stay in this moment forever. I took my mouth from her hand and she reopened those big brown eyes. We smiled at each other and she put the glove back on. She opened the door wide, before spending a minute taking the scene in.

"My God, Jack," she whispered.

The band was playing a song I identified as 'Barcarole', I couldn't see them, but the strains floated over the shouts of the people on deck and the sound of stressed rope and wood as the lifeboats were lowered into the waiting water. There was still a sense of order on the deck, officers were still in control, the people were scared but there was no full-scale panic. We walked over to an empty set of davits, which would have been used to lower a lifeboat into the sea below us. to get there we had to avoid people rushing about, there was a sense of order, but it was easy to tell that no one had any real idea of what they were meant to be doing,. This was most likely down to the lifeboat drill being cancelled on April 14, the day before, as the captain decided to hold a church service instead of a lifeboat drill. At the davit, the railing had been removed and we stood close to the edge and looked sideways, a lifeboat was being lowered slowly into the water. Rachel took the cigarette from her mouth and tossed it out into the ocean.

"Really not for me," she whispered, "besides it might make the sea slightly warmer!"

"Aw," I smiled; I followed her lead and threw mine out into the sea as well, "filthy habit anyway, it could kill me!"

She hugged me around the waist, digging her head into my shoulder. I could see boats in the water rowing away without much speed, there were barely any people in them, empty seats clearly visible, I sighed to myself; it was such a dreadful waste of life, as the lifeboats that there were could not even be filled. I heard a woman scream out, Rachel took herself from me and we both looked, a woman dressed finely, obviously from the higher end of the ship, had fallen over on the deck that now was in the hold of a great list. No one stopped to help her, Rachel ran over to her.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked the lady, offering her hand,

The woman smiled and took it; Rachel pulled her to her feet,

"Thank you," the woman said, looking truly grateful, "I thought no one would help me up, they are all too worried about themselves to help anyone else."

"That isn't true of everyone," Rachel said, "You'd better get yourself to a lifeboat."

"Thank you, young lady," the woman smiled again, "I never thought I'd been getting help from someone like you!"

"Someone like me…" Rachel started, but the woman had already walked off in search of a lifeboat,

I walked up to Rachel, who was still looking confused.

"The rich don't like needing the help of those they see to be below them," I told her,

"Aw right," Rachel nodded, "I was just glad I could assist her,"

"People are starting to get scared," I told her quietly, "it has become obvious to everyone now that this ship will sink, most people won't stop to think about anyone else, to many it is now about either saving themselves or accepting death."

"Well," Rachel said, taking my hands in hers, "I know which one I have chosen."

I sighed; this really had not been part of the plan.

**A/N: It was short, I know, but I'll do more tomorrow, there are probably loads of errors because I am seriously tired, but I might do it up tomorrow, all depends how I'm doing then.**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Wrote this during history class, I can see a big poster of the Titanic one the wall, it's pure cool and all that. Thank you to Upisdowngirl, I wanted to upload another chapter, so I ended up staying up really late for some reason, I'm glad you think I rock, you rock as well. Aw thank you to the Guest, that was such a kind review, you are very sweet, Jack Phillips needed a story you know, so I felt I should do it. Thanks to TitanInCepStarTrek, glad you are enjoying the story, Inception is really good, so it is nice to be compared with it! Greetings from Northern Ireland! Possibly the most boring place in the world, but everyone says that about where they live, don't they?**

**Chapter 41**

**Jack's POV**

I was so tired, but of course I had to keep going, for her, my sweet girl. She watched the boats slowly row away from the ship, the oars steadily breaking through the cold water. I stood next to her, the wind blowing lightly on our faces. I felt far removed from the busyness of all the people hurrying about the deck. I put an arm around her waist and pulled her close to me, both of us still facing the sea, our breath fogging out into the air.

"I'll bet no one your age has ever seen anything like this!" I whispered in her ear, knowing the silliness of what I was saying,

"No one else my age could see this," she said with a laugh, "perhaps because they haven't been born!"

"That could be a contributing factor," I sighed, pretending to be disappointed,

"Do you remember the day I first saw you?" she asked, still looking out at the boats,

"I am unlikely to forget," I breathed, "I nearly scared you to death!"

"It wasn't as bad as all that," she said, sounding protective of her actions, "I got over it quickly,"

"You did," I smiled, "a few weeks later you were kissing me,"

"You make it sound as if it were a straight and easy road, as if I saw you and fell for you, then kissed you," she whispered, "there was a lot more to it than that!"

Indeed there was, but I didn't want to upset her by getting too detailed about it, it all seemed a lifetime ago, even though it had only been a few days. She faced so much trouble to be with me, like when her boyfriend, Christopher, found out about me and called her a whore, when he broke up with her, it was all about me, but she put up with it to be with me. Christopher never understood her the way I could, he wanted things from her that I would never ask for, but then I was never like him, I didn't want a whore to obey my every whim, I wanted someone on the same level as me, and Rachel was my perfect girl.

"You're a better dancer than Chris ever was," she muttered, nearly as if she was reading my mind,

"I'm better than that stupid boy in most ways, I would hope," I said quickly, hoping I didn't sound too rude,

"He's not as bad as you think," she replied, sounding quite happy,

"The last time you saw him he was horrible to you!" I said, amazed that she could even attempt to defend him,

"No he didn't! I was in the hospital and..." with that she pulled herself from me and put one of her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide in shock at what she had said,

"Rachel, you haven't been awake at the hospital, what are you talking about?" I asked, feeling horribly confused,

"I didn't want to tell you and get you worried!" she cried, tears in her eyes,

"What happened?" I asked, trying to sound calm, but inside I was frustrated at not knowing,

"I woke up," she said, hiding behind her hands still, "a few days ago..."

She trailed off; I nodded at her to continue,

"Chris and Ciaran were there, but they were different..." she said, obviously trying to keep emotion from her voice,

"What do you mean by different?" I asked, willing her to go on, to let me understand.

She looked me straight in the eye, "Two years had passed."

I put a hand to my mouth, I was so shocked, I had no idea that that could happen.

"Shit," I swore, feeling annoyed at the lady in white for not telling us about this.

"And that was days ago, even more of my life will have wasted away by now," she said, taking her hands away from her face, "the lady in white wanted to torment me! To show me that people still care about me! But I can't go back!"

She was nearly shouting by now, tears emerging from her eyes.

"How could I go back?" Years gone, you gone!" she wailed, "I can't do it! Let me die with you!"

I took her hands in mine; she was staring at me so intently, her brown eyes filled with tears,

"I understand now," I said, I was going to cry as well,

"At last!" she smiled sadly,

I felt a tear come out of one eye, I quickly wiped it away,

"Are you crying?" she asked softly, looking deeply concerned,

"No," I muttered, "crying is a sign of weakness and I am not weak,"

"It is not a sign of weakness," she said, sounding very sure of her words, "It just means that you have put up with too much crap!"

"That's it, Rachel," I said, wiping my eyes again, "too much crap."

"We should get back to the wireless room," she said, smiling at me now, "we can't leave Harry on his own for too long!"

"Especially not tonight," I whispered, "no one should have to be alone on a night like this."

She kissed me full on the lips, this sort of thing seemed to be happening to me a lot, I suppose impending death had turned both Rachel and I passionate and sentimental, rather than morbid. Though I had no complaints as she enjoyed it and I enjoyed it also. She had grabbed my tie with one hand, pulling me down towards her, she had her other hand on the back of my head, and while she kissed me I cupped her head in my hands, feeling her jaw line with my fingers. When I closed my eyes, I was able to forget where I was; I could block out the creaking of the ship and the worried cries of people and just hear the band play.

"We'd better go," she whispered, smiling up at me and letting go of my tie.

The wind was catching her long dark hair and she looked sweetly embarrassed, I knew she would be paranoid about people seeing us kiss, though no one would care about a couple kissing at a time like this, even though in the Edwardian times it really would not have been acceptable to kiss in public, but in times of danger, conventions are often forgotten.

"Yes, we should go," I said reluctantly.

She smiled at me teasingly when she heard my lack of willing, turning her head and offering a hand to me.

"After tonight," she said, taking my hand to lead me back to where I should have been, "we will have forever!"

"We will," I tried to force a smile, but I couldn't manage it.

She spoke so happily about dying, as if it were a gift, as if it were a gift that only I could grant to her, as if she needed my permission and my help to die. I still felt uneasy at the thought of it, if I let her die, it meant I had failed her, and yet it was what she wanted and it meant that we could be together. I felt sick, maybe it was because of the things that she had said; maybe it was because I was so tired, but maybe it was because of the angle of the deck that was getting steeper all the time.

"Heaven must be so lovely!" she laughed as she dragged me along the corridor,

I laughed as well, I was glad to be off the deck, the floor was still at a slant, but the atmosphere was not as tense or filled with fear. Rachel suddenly stopped dragging me along and turned and looked at me.

"I will get into Heaven, right?" she asked, looking concerned,

"Of course," I smiled, "I may be your angel, but you are also mine,"

"That is very sweet, Jack," she whispered as she opened the door to the wireless room.

"Welcome back," Harry called as we stepped into the room.

He smiled at us, but when I stepped closer to him, I could see that he had been crying, he was scared as well. Rachel glanced over at me, looking worried, and then looked back to Harry. She walked over to him and gave him a hug, he put his head on her shoulder and I could tell he was holding tears back.

"I've tried so hard to be strong," he said, his voice cracking, "but what if..."

Rachel shushed him, "it's going to be okay, Harry, I promise,"

"How can you promise when you don't know?" he asked, his eyes rimmed with red at holding back tears,

"Educated guess," she whispered.

**A/N: It is half two in the morning, I need to stop doing this to myself! I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh on Duelling Network and writing this at the same time, so it might be a bit crap, but anyways; reviews are much loved by me, so if you are feeling really kind... say something!**


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: I will dedicate this chapter to my sweet friend Louise, who is having a hard time at the minute, in reply to Upisdown girl, 'Nearer My God To Thee' makes me cry every time I hear it, such a sad song. There are two museums that have Titanic things near me, by near I mean a two hours drive, one of them is great and the other one is a bit useless, but I will love practically anything Titanic related, I have never even been to America, though I may sail over on the Titanic 2… though I assume I will never have that kind of money.**

**Chapter 42**

**Rachel's POV**

Harry still looked upset, but he wiped his eyes and smiled at me, I grinned back at him, hoping that I was being comforting; I didn't like seeing him be upset.

"Thank you," he whispered, sounding both sad and grateful.

I stopped hugging him and he got up, letting Jack take over the wireless again. I sat down in the seat next to Jack; Harry had picked up the alcohol again from where he had left it before, drinking slowly from the bottle as he sat on the bed. The pencil rolled off the desk onto the floor, as it had done earlier; there was a gentle clatter as it hit the floor.

"It's been doing that all night," Harry sighed, putting the cork back into the bottle,

I picked it up and handed it to Jack, who put the earphones on. I looked up at the clock, two in the morning, twenty minutes before Titanic was gone for good, the slant was terrible, and I could feel the gravity pulling me towards the front of the ship, where it was most likely underwater. Jack was getting a message, he looked concerned, he wrote it down after replying to it, his handwriting that was usually so beautiful looked erratic.

"What did they say?" I asked him,

"It was the 'Carpathia', they were just updating me on how fast they are going, seventeen knots they think, I messaged them back but they say they can barely hear us," he said, sounding worried,

"Maybe we should use the replacement batteries," Harry said, sounding sharp despite the alcohol that he had been drinking,

"That's a good idea," Jack replied, motioning for Harry to go into the silent room and change the battery,

"We don't have much longer," I said quietly to Jack,

"The ship doesn't have much power left, we will not be able to keep the wireless going for long, soon both the wireless and the lights will lose power," he said,

"So we will be trapped out in the middle of the ocean with no lights and no way of communication," I said, feeling worried again, imagining stumbling about on the tilting deck with only the light of the moon and stars to see.

"And of course, no ship," he said bluntly.

I wanted to die with him, but that didn't stop it from being horrifying, I had told him about me waking up, about how I had aged, how years had passed. it sounded trivial in my mind, but it was still a worry that I had not finished school, I had missed out on so much, if I went back to my normal life I would have to pretend that this had never happened, that I had just been in a coma for a few years, not that I had been in love with a dead man, nearly killed by an angel and then I survived the sinking of the Titanic, after that there was no way that I could act like a normal person.

"What could I look like after all this?" I wondered to myself, another stupid trivial worry.

When I had woken up, I had seen myself reflected in the window, but I couldn't really tell well enough how much I had changed. Now that even more years had passed, the changes could only be greater, I felt sick at the idea of going back to my normal life, a life without Jack, I would have to get a normal job, meet normal people, get married… I tried to keep a straight face so that neither Jack nor Harry could tell that I was worried, but on the inside I felt horribly sick. Jack was trying the wireless again, as Harry had now come back out of the silent room informing us that he had changed the batteries. There was no real point in doing this, it was like we were putting on a little show or a play, pretending that it was real, we knew the script and we knew the ending. Both Jack and I knew that the only ship that would come to the rescue would be the 'Carpathia' and it was already on its way, we could have just left the wireless room and done other things, but I knew I felt strangely compelled to stay in the wireless room, it wasn't just Jack, it just felt like I should stay in this place, as if I belonged here.

"This really was a beautiful ship," Harry smiled, sitting back down on the bed,

Both Jack and I looked over at him, wondering why he was saying this now,

"It was," I agreed,

He sighed and looked down, "this must have been an awful first voyage for you, Rachel,"

"Well," I smiled, "it was all good, apart from tonight, the sinking has ruined it just a bit."

"How can we still make jokes now?" he asked, though he was smiling,

"Because it helps us to keep going," I replied, I was about to say more but then the door opened.

All three of us looked up, Jack quickly removed the earphones, it was the captain, he stepped in through the door, one hand on the wall.

"You have done your full duty," he said, looking to each one of us, his voice shaking slightly, "you can do no more, abandon your cabin."

He turned to leave the room, but he looked back at us once more, his eyes looking very sad, I felt such pity for him at that moment, he knew that his death was a certainty. It was his last voyage on a ship as captain, he should have been a happy man preparing to retire, instead his ship was sinking under him and he would have to die with it.

"It's every man for himself now," he said quietly, "that's the way of it at these times."

With that he left the room, I swallowed; we all glanced at each other, not saying anything.

"Should we go then?" Harry asked, finally breaking the silence, glancing between Jack and me,

"I'm not going," Jack said in a calm tone of voice,

Harry looked at him in surprise, his green eyes wide and his mouth open,

"But Jack!" he protested, "There's no point! The captain said we can go!"

"You can go," Jack said, "but I'm not going, not yet."

Harry looked over at me, concern in his eyes, as if he were pleading with me,

"Are you going?" he asked, sounding really worried,

"No," I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as Jack's had been, "I can't go without him."

"Then I don't want to go," he said, sounding very final.

He retrieved the two lifejackets that were contained in a cupboard in the room; he set one down on the bed on top of the one that he had brought back to the wireless room earlier.

"Stand up," he told me, motioning with one hand for me to step towards him.

I did so and he helped me get the lifejacket on, he put it on over my head and wound the ties of it around my waist, pulling it tight and tying it, he did the same thing for himself. He picked up the other one from the bed and slung it over the back of Jack's chair, where he was still hunched over the signal key, both Harry and I were now wearing the lifejackets, we were ready now.

"This is for you, if you ever decide to leave!" Harry said loudly,

"We can't have power for that much longer anyway," I said, holding onto the desk to help me keep my balance, the slant getting steadily worse and the lifejacket was making me feel clumsy.

As if to prove my point the ship creaked loudly, a groan of metal and wood, and the lights in the room flickered, the end of Titanic was coming.

**A/N: I have the next chapter planned, but it's not written yet, but soon! **


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Thank you to Upisdowngirl again! So glad you are enjoying this, I am enjoying writing this!**

**Chapter 43**

"_**How poor Phillips continued to work through it I don't know. He was a brave man. I learned to love him that night and I suddenly felt a great reverence to see him standing there sticking to his work while everybody else was raging about. I will never live to forget the work of Phillips during the last awful fifteen minutes." – Harold S. Bride 1912**_

**Rachel's POV**

Jack kept sending 'CQD' followed by the Titanic's call tag, 'MGY', every ship had one, and the coordinates of where we were. Water was starting to edge itself under the door, but we had to ignore it as we had other things to do. Harry was in the silent room adjusting things that I didn't understand, I decided to search under the bed for Harry and Jack's bags, ignoring the water that was under my fingers and soaking my knees as I crawled on all fours under the bed, I just had to see if there was anything that Harry or Jack wanted to take with them. All of a sudden I was startled by the sound of breaking glass, I quickly got out to see what had happened, Jack was standing up, the earphones off and held in one hand, his eyes cast down.

"The slant made it fall off the table," he said, looking sad,

I glanced down to the floor, to see what he had been looking at, the ship in a bottle had fallen, the glass shattered over the wireless messages that it had been sitting on. The delicate ship had broken into two parts, the fine sails crushed and the masts snapped. Jack picked up the little ship, the glass cutting his skin, drops of blood rising to his skin surface, but he ignored it.

"I will keep it anyway," he whispered, putting the broken ship into one pocket.

He wiped away the blood onto his trouser leg and sat down again.

"I'll keep looking," I muttered, getting down on all fours again and reaching under the bed again, this was no time to be upset about model ships getting broken.

The bags were pushed quite far back, so I was nearly fully under the bed by the time I reached them, I was about to pull them out when I heard the door creak open slowly and quietly. I pulled two bags out and when I looked up I saw a man standing behind Jack, who was concentrating so hard on the wireless that he had not noticed the person. The man in question was wearing a thin white shirt that was stained with black powder, his ripped brown trousers held up with suspenders that went over his well built shoulders. His dirty hands reached up to take the lifejacket off Jack's chair, the man obviously hadn't noticed me on the floor.

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked as I stood up, trying to sound threatening and like I had authority.

He looked at me for a second then he grabbed the lifejacket and started for the door, I ran after him and grabbed one of his arms with both of my hands, pulling it up towards my mouth, he looked down at me in shock as I bit down on him, he let out a scream and Jack looked up, pulling the earphones off, the man took a swipe for me, but in his panic he missed my face, instead he started to pull my hair, I bit him harder in an attempt to make him let go, it was very painful, but I had to stop him. Harry came out of the silent room, he must have heard me talking to the man.

"What on earth..." Harry started, a shocked expression on his face,

"Help!" I called, removing my mouth from the man's arm.

Jack punched the man across the face, blood splattered as the nose was broken. The man collapsed onto his knees, still clutching the lifejacket to his chest, Harry kicked him as well, then the strange man fell facedown onto the wet floor. Some of the man's blood had landed on my face when his nose exploded, so I wiped it away. Harry, Jack and I looked at each other in a shocked silence, as if we were not quite able to take in what had happened.

"Is he dead?" I asked, looking down at the man on the floor, his blood mixing with the shallow water,

"I doubt we are that strong," Jack said slowly, not taking his eyes from the man,

"He deserved it," Harry said, "He should have had his own lifejacket, rather than trying to steal one!"

"Well," Jack sighed, "he can keep it now."

The lights flickered for a couple of seconds and Jack walked over to the wireless, attempting to send messages once more, obviously it didn't work for him, then he quickly went into the silent room while Harry retrieved money from his bag, which I had left sitting on the floor next to the bed.

"Rachel!" Jack called from the other room, "check if the wireless is working now!"

"Okay!" I called back.

I walked around the man, making sure to avoid him, as he still scared me, even though he was knocked out or possibly dead. The floor was at a steep angle now, so I had to grip the desk to pull myself over to the wireless.

"Send the letter 'V' twice!" he called,

"Sure thing!" I said, putting one hand on the signal key and putting the earphones on with the other,

"...- / ...-" I messaged, confused as to why Jack wanted me to send these specific letters,

Jack came back into the room, shutting the door to the silent room behind him,

"Did it send?" he asked,

"Barely," I replied.

The signal had been very weak, there was barely any power left, I knew that the lights would not be staying on much longer.

"That was the last message," Jack whispered, "You had to send two 'V's because that was the last message sent from Titanic last time it sank."

I looked up at him, he wasn't looking at me, he was looking instead at the wireless, examining the coils, the signal key, the combination of wood and metal to create a beautiful piece of technology. He smiled to himself weakly, as if acknowledging that this was the last time that he would see it.

"We should go now," Harry said from behind us, "the power to the wireless is gone now, the captain has released us, we should try to save ourselves."

We turned to face him, the ship let out a load groan, Harry handed Jack some money,

"This is yours," he said, closing Jack's hand around it,

"Thank you," Jack replied, "let's clear out."

We all walked slowly to the door, the cold water swishing around our feet, it had got deeper in the last few minutes, flowing over the tops of my shoes and chilling my feet. My dress was already wet from kneeling on the floor, I was cold already and shaking from how nervous I was about the last few minutes of Titanic, I reached the door first and opened it, the floor of the corridor had a stream of water running along it, we looked back at the room one last time, it was very different now from when we first arrived, the lights flickering and the floor at an angle, I looked at the clock, it was quarter past two, we had five minutes, only five minutes before the ship was gone again, and then we left the wireless room for the last time.

**A/N: That was a nice wee quote at the start wasn't it? Harold Bride actually said that, which makes it pretty damn awesome. I'm excited about writing the next chapter, but that's just me like, don't know how you feel about it like. I remember when I started writing this... it was meant to be fifteen chapters... obviously that didn't happen...**


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Thank you to Upisdowngirl again, this chapter was really hard to write.**

**Chapter 44**

**Rachel's POV**

I opened the door that lead out onto the deck, water was lapping at our feet. The scene was one of chaos, people were screaming, but over the anguished cries I could hear the sound of a song, 'Nearer My God to Thee', the deck was at a slant, there was no order anymore, as the captain had said, it was every man for himself. People were jumping overboard as well, as if they could somehow escape the horror of what was occurring. I was so stunned I could barely move, but Jack pulled me out onto the deck.

"We need to move further back!" he informed me, I could see the fear in his eyes and that made me even more nervous.

"Goodbye and good luck!" Harry called after us as Jack and I gripped to the railing at the side of the ship to help us climb the slant.

"Goodbye Harry!" I screamed, waving frantically to him as he walked away uneasily, he was headed towards some men trying to get a collapsible lifeboat off the roof of the officers' quarters.

At that moment the ship let out a horrible groan, yellow sparks were flaring out of the front three funnels as the front of the ship was pulled further down by the weight of the water. Some people were singing to the mournful song, some were crying, holding onto sturdy items, their lifejackets would not be enough to save them from the cold of the water. I stared in horror as we passed women, children, fathers, mothers, and babies, all still on the ship and without hope. I could still hear the band playing, though it must have been difficult for them at this angle.

"We must get up further, as soon a huge wave will wash over the ship," Jack called from next to me, "keep going!"

It was difficult pulling myself up the ship, my face burnt with the cold air, my breath a fog in the frigid night air. The lights along the deck still burned, deckchairs and other moveable objects slid down towards the freezing water, scraping along the wood of the deck. The song ended as a huge wave washed over the front of the ship, sweeping people and the two remaining lifeboats, which had not been launched properly, into the water.

"Keep going!" Jack shouted again, sounding more frantic this time.

I was nearly sobbing with the effort of trying to get up the ship, my hands cold even though I was wearing gloves, I didn't want to imagine how poor Jack must have felt, his hands bare and cut with glass, my feet kept slipping, so I was depending mostly on the strength in my arms. Some people couldn't hold on any longer, it was too much for them, and they made the horrific fall down to the sea, their bloodcurdling screams echoing through the night air as the ship slanted towards vertical. I glanced back, we were nearly there. There was another groan of metal and the front funnel snapped near the base, final sparks flying from it as it toppled, ties snapping like gunfire, into the water, surely crushing people who had ended up down there. I kept watching as I climbed, feeling sick at the height and the events; it was only going to get worse.

"Well done," Jack whispered in my ear once we were level with the forth funnel, he forced a smile, but his eyes were wet with tears.

I was breathing shakily and heavily, both hands gripping the railing so I would not fall. The second funnel from the front started to snap the ties holding it in place, before also falling into the water, the lights were flickering more. Jack was right next to me, we were both staring down at the rest of the ship, he kissed me quickly on the lips, but at this time his affection was little help to me.

"Stay strong," he said, "because the ship won't."

"Was that our last kiss?" I asked, not really expecting an answer from him,

He was looking at me now, his hair blowing in the gentle breeze that was raking across the ship.

"Possibly," he said, looking miserable, "this is the end for both of us and we may lose each other trying to get from the ship."

I gasped, not wanting to think of being apart from him; I wanted to spend my final moments with my love, Jack Phillips. The ship was near vertical now; I was gripping as tight as I could onto the railing, the third funnel fell over onto the deck on the opposite side from us, crushing people, before rolling off into the sea. I had to look away, even from this distance I could see crushed bodies tumble down the deck into the ocean, stains of blood left behind.

"Are we going to go yet?" I asked, "The wave is gone!"

"Not yet," he replied.

There was the sound of a tremendous explosion from further down the ship, sending vibrations throughout the whole structure, with that the lights went out, it was very final, the ship forced into darkness, making people even more scared than they had been before. Then a sickening crack sounded like thunder, the smooth planks of the deck had cracked between the third and forth funnels, the strain of the vertical ship had been too much, the metal sounded strained, crumpling from the stress being exerted on it as it tried to stay together. I slipped one leg between the railings to help me hold on, as my hands were far too tired. There was the horrible pulling apart of metal as the ship started to break into two parts, the back that we were on suddenly fell downwards to horizontal once more, almost as if it were still sailing, this made many people fall, water splashed up in waves. As it sat in the horizontal position, I attempted to get my breath back.

"Jack," I cried, not wanting to believe what was happening to us.

The front of the ship disappeared under the water totally and the forth funnel fell onto the deck, snapping wood, metal and people, the stern of the ship that we were on was getting pulled down as well, it felt as if it were still partly attached to the bow section,.

"What do we do?" I screamed at Jack,

"We jump," he said, looking worried.

He took my hand, then he looked down at the water below us, I could feel that the stern was going to move back into the vertical position, as it was no longer being dragged down by the bow, which must have fallen off and sank. Jack climbed over the railing and helped me over too, I looked down, the water was full of screaming people, and I felt sick. We turned our backs to the railing, facing out onto the water, the cold metal pressing into our backs. We both still had one hand on the railing. The stern shook as it started to move towards vertical once more, if we left it any longer it would be too late.

"Jump," Jack whispered.

Then we let go, leaving Titanic at last. I shut my eyes tight from fear, holding to his hand with all of my strength, the rush of air as we fell. It felt like it would take forever, I opened my eyes just in time to see the water rise to meet us, I wanted to take a breath before entering the water but there was no time. The shock of the cold made me breathe the water in, opening my eyes in shock to see nothing at all. I clung still to Jack's hand. Then it struck me, as I was rising to the surface, the searing, piercing cold.

**A/N: More tomorrow! Too tired today. **

**From The Ship of Death by DH Lawrence**

_**And in the bruised body, the frightened soul**_

_**finds itself shrinking, wincing from the cold**_

_**that blows upon it through the orifices.**_

_**Build then the ship of death, for you must take**_

_**the longest journey, to oblivion.**_

_**And die the death, the long and painful death**_

_**that lies between the old self and the new.**_

_**Already our bodies are fallen, bruised, badly bruised,**_

_**already our souls are oozing through the exit**_

_**of the cruel bruise.**_

_**Already the dark and endless ocean of the end**_

_**is washing in through the breaches of our wounds,**_

_**already the flood is upon us.**_

_**Oh build your ship of death, your little ark**_

_**and furnish it with food, with little cakes, and wine**_

_**for the dark flight down oblivion.**_


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Thank you to Horses of Shadow and Night; this must be one of the nicest reviews I have ever got! I read those weird slashes before I started writing, it was a horrible experience, it is difficult to be a school and still have time to dedicate to writing as well, but I have managed so far. **** Hope you continue to enjoy the story your review was very much appreciated. Thank you to Upisdowngirl again, I was so worried about that chapter, it was the most difficult thing that I have ever written. Thanks to the guest, glad you think I wrote beautifully, that is very flattering. To the other guest, I have no idea if that is a compliment or what, but I will say thank anyway. Thank you to iamthefirst for your nice reviews on chapters 6 and 7, hope you continue to read! I went to see a play about the Titanic today! It was called 'The Wireless Room'; bet you can't guess what it was about...**

**Chapter 45**

**Rachel's POV**

I could not tell which way was up, where the surface was, all there seemed to be was coldness. Jack's hand held tight to mine, though I barely noticed. I felt as though I was being dragged downwards, so I kicked, trying to swim, my dress tangling around my legs as my lungs burnt with the lack of air. Eventually I broke to the surface after what felt like hours, drinking in the air, I pulled Jack to the surface as well, immediately he started pulling me along, I wanted to ask him what he was dragging me along for, but it was too loud to ask, with all the people screaming and when I looked behind me I knew why. About twenty metres from us, Titanic had moved to a vertical position, the black of the stern blocking out the stars in the sky. It was staying still, I could see the silhouettes of people up there, I could hear them screaming in fear as they clung on for their lives, desperate to keep themselves from the water for a couple more seconds.

"We have to get away," Jack shouted, his voice shaking with the cold.

The lifejacket that I was wearing was a lot more buoyant than me, the straps that should have been going over my shoulders floating above them. I clung to Jack's hand and kicked as hard as I could, swimming was something that I had not done in a long time, the cold making it even harder on me. There were so many people it was difficult to get past, but we had to keep on trying, Jack seemed to know where he wanted to head to. The water was level with my mouth, so I had to hold my head up to keep breathing, or else I spluttered on the water. I didn't want to look back, I didn't want to see Titanic again, but as we were swimming I heard a scream of metal behind, I looked over my shoulder, not stopping kicking, the remaining part of the ship was beginning to thunder down into the water, pulling people nearer to it back with it, people were screaming louder than they had been before, I had to look away again, I had to concentrate on getting away. There was a roar of water and metal and I knew without looking that the ship had to be totally gone. We kept going, pushing past the hundreds of people floating in the water, not stopping for a second.

"Get back!" I heard a voice shout, louder than anyone else and sounding very frantic.

I looked up to see an upturned lifeboat with several men standing on top of it, they held oars and they were using them to push people away who were trying to get onto it. I wanted to get closer to it, as Jack must have been getting tired trying to stay up in the water without a lifejacket and the cold was unbearable; I wanted to get out of the water. I swam towards it but I felt myself be hit in the shoulder with an oar, it barely hurt as all that I could feel was the water.

"I know this is a bad time, but that is no reason to hit a lady!" I heard a familiar voice call,

The owner of the voice had managed to climb up onto the unturned lifeboat without the men on it hitting him away, it was officer Lightoller.

"I am an officer and I am taking control of this boat!" he announced, "I can save lives if you listen to me!"

The people in the vicinity of the boat went quiet, even now they had respect for the authority of an officer, even though there was still screaming going on further back towards where the ship had been. Lightoller offered me his hand and I climbed up onto the boat, feeling clumsy in the lifejacket, but grateful to be out of the freezing water. My shoes made it difficult to stand up, so I kept sliding. I reached a hand down to Jack to help him up, I was still holding onto Lightoller's hand to help keep myself balanced. Water dripped from me and I gasped with the cold as the breeze went through my clothes.

"We all have to stand up and make sure we keep the boat balanced!" Lightoller insisted once I had helped Jack up.

"We aren't dead yet," I whispered to Jack, as he stood behind me.

More people were climbing up onto the boat, clambering up and slipping occasionally. My wet dress clung to me, weighing me down, the screams further away were getting quieter, and soon there were about twenty people on the upturned boat.

"Indeed we are," Jack said, he was shaking with the cold and he looked so tired.

I carefully turned around to face him, taking my time and making sure not to rock the boat too much; he reached out and gently took some ice out of my hair where it must have formed. I forced a smile, but the cold was hurting my face, the freezing air hurting my teeth.

"Help!" I heard a voice call; I looked down and saw Harry in the water, he reached up a hand towards the boat.

Some of the men reached down and helped him up, he was soaked, but he smiled when he saw me and Jack,

"Well done," he called back, he could barely stand up.

"That's it!" shouted Lightoller, "There is no room left here, we must save who we can!"

I saw one of the men towards the back of the boat lower a body gently into the water, someone must have died, I tried not to get frightened, I wanted us to die at the same time, I didn't want us to have to be apart, that would be too horrible. I took a deep breath, shivers shaking up through me, I wanted to try to stop thinking about the cold, but it was impossible, the horrible tingling kept rushing up through me and I shivered violently. I wrapped my arms around myself, Jack looked at me with pity, though he was probably worse off than me, at least I had rested well the night before. My skin felt dry and hard, more ice must have been forming on me. I glanced to the left and I saw a man swim over, he must have been one of the few in the water still able to move. It was hard to distinguish his features in the low light, but I thought that he had a white beard.

"Can I get on?" he asked, his voice jolty with the cold,

Lightoller looked around the boat, seeing that there were too many people on the boat already,

"I'm sorry," Lightoller called back, "but there is no room,"

"Then good luck," the man called out to all of us on the boat, "and God bless you!"

With that he swam away, it was quieter now, so I could hear him moving in the water, then he disappeared into the darkness.

"We should all say a prayer," someone called out from on the boat,

There were murmurs of agreement from everyone there,

"Our Father..." someone started and everyone, including myself, joined in,

I could see Jack's lips moving, but I couldn't really hear him, I knew that the cold must have taken a lot from him, but saying the prayer helped me distract myself from what I was feeling, helped me think of God and Heaven, rather than the horrible events that had unfolded on that cold night in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I hoped that Jack was distracted too, that he wasn't in too much pain, that he wasn't too scared. After the prayer, people talked to each other a bit, obviously trying to not think of the ice that was forming on their clothes. I watched the fog of Jack's breath, knowing that now it was just time to wait.

**A/N: More tomorrow or whenever I have time! Hope you are all having a nice day my lovely readers!**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thanks again to Upisdowngirl, you are a wee sweetheart!**

**Chapter 46**

**Rachel's POV**

We had been quiet for a bit, though everyone else seemed to have been making small talk, the boat had sunk down deeper into the water, the air underneath it must have been escaping. Small waves had been rocking the boat, so Lightoller had been instructing us to lean from side to side to stop in toppling over, it was very tiring in the cold, once the waves had calmed down a bit, Jack started to speak again, he looked so exhausted, his skin pale in the light of the stars.

"Even if the wireless had not broken yesterday," Jack said, I could see that talking was hard work for him, "I still wouldn't have slept, how could I? I was thinking of all this... and you, Rachel."

"Don't be saying that sort of thing, Jack," I replied, trying to prevent him from saying his final words, I didn't want him to think about dying, I wanted him to stay alive longer.

"Well, I have redeemed myself, haven't I?" he said, smiling weakly to himself,

"Yes, yes..." I started, trying not to let him say sad things,

"You're proud of me, aren't you?" he interrupted, looking me straight in the eyes,

"Yes, and I..." I tried to speak again, but once more he interrupted me,

"I love you," Jack said, smiling again, though even in the dim light, I could see the brightness fading from his eyes.

"I love you too, I love you too!" I whispered loudly.

His eyes were getting more and more empty looking and he looked unsteady, I was weak but I reached out to him and put my arms around him, helping him to sit down. I crouched down with him on the upturned boat; all around us was muttered conversation. I was on my knees, leaning over Jack, my hand under my chin, making him look up at me, but I could tell that he wasn't seeing, not anymore, a single tear ran down his cheek, I wiped it away with one hand; it was warm unlike the rest of him.

"Jack," I whispered, the fog of my breath on his face.

He did not reply, I glanced away for a second, to try and understand, it hadn't hit me yet. I stared out at the water, in the distance I could see small lights that must have been coming from the other boats. I turned back to him, gripping both his hands with mine, my legs keeping me balanced, he had dropped his head, I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, I was shaking with the cold, his skin felt hard against my painful lips. I released one of his cold hands and tipped his face up again, letting go of his other hand. Slowly I closed both of his eyes, the right first and then the left. I bowed my head and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight," I whispered to him.

A man who was standing behind me whispered to me,

"What has happened, love?" the man asked gently,

I turned and looked up at him, trying to keep my voice steady,

"He's dead," I said bluntly, it sounded strange to my ears,

"Someone's died back here!" the man called forward to Lightoller, there was no time to be sensitive about the matter,

"Who is it?" Lightoller called back,

"One of the wireless officers, I think!" the man shouted back,

"His name is Jack!" I said, but the cold was stopping me from speaking too loudly as my throat was in pain, and the man did not hear me.

"Do you mean Jack Phillips?" I heard Harry call back to the man behind me, he sounded tired yet upset.

"Yes!" I shouted, putting all my strength into it, yet my voice was cracking, "he's..."

"Shit," I heard Harry swear.

"Oh, Jack," I whispered, "you'll be where you are meant to be now!"

I sighed to myself, pushing my frozen hair back off my face. My clothes were now hard with ice also.

"It's over for you, at last," I whispered to his dead body, "and soon it will be over for me as well,"

"Mr Lightoller," I heard someone say to the second officer, "are we going to do anything about that body? It may put the boat off balance."

I looked over to see if I could see who said that disgusting thing, but my sight range was limited in the conditions of low light.

"Perhaps," was Mr Lightoller's reply, he sounded both miserable and exhausted, though he had to keep his authority over us.

"You should stand up," the man behind me said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "you will upset yourself looking at him like that, you should just try to remember him the way he was when he was alive!"

I looked up at the man; he offered me his hand and helped me up slowly, making sure that I didn't slip or make the boat rock.

"I never knew him when he was alive," I whispered, the man didn't hear me.

I glanced down at the water, knowing that if I wanted to be with Jack, that is where I would have to go. It looked so cold, gently lapping against our boat, further away I could see the white of lifejackets where frozen corpses were floating, and I would have to end up like them if I wanted to be back with my true love, my angel. The boat was getting lower in the water, due to the weight of all the people on top of it. I couldn't look at Jack anymore, I turned away so I would not have to see him, I had always known him as being dead, but this was a different sort of death, now he was still and silent, without a soul.

"Hopefully another boat will come along to help us soon," I heard Harry say, I found the sound of his voice quite comforting, but it wasn't as good as hearing Jack, nothing could ever be as good as Jack.

"It would be best if you didn't look," I heard a man's voice say.

I knew that this meant that they wished to dump Jack's body into the cold water, where he would rot to dust.

"It's not real," I tried to tell myself quietly, "it's not really him, he's in Heaven now, I will join him soon, it doesn't matter what happens now."

I knew that if everyone else on the boat wanted to put him in the freezing waters of the North Atlantic, whether he happened to be dead or alive, I would have to join him. We had always been together, always, and that was the way that I wanted it to stay.

**A/N: Bit short, sorry, but I have been quite busy and I am very tired. **


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Thank you to Upisdowngirl and Okaly for the reviews! I'm glad you thought it was sad, even though apparently I am evil for it, sorry, but it had to happen! Thank you to 'Ciaran' for the review, it really means a lot, I thought you of all people would be very critical, seeing as you are a future Titanic professor, so keep reading! Thanks to Louise, for that rather interesting review that I had to get you to translate! Oh I can't believe I made Upisdowngirl cry...**

**Chapter 47**

**Rachel's POV**

My hands were nearly useless in the cold; I pulled at the rope around my waist holding the bulky lifejacket to me, my eyes tearing up in anger and frustration. Harry had tied the knot very well and my stiff fingers were not coping with it, the gloves were making it even more difficult, but Jack had given them to me, so I felt that I had to keep them on.

"What are you doing, you silly girl?" someone near me asked, sounding both agitated and confused by my actions.

I did not reply, and I didn't even turn to face them, to acknowledge what they had said, how could I when they wanted to throw Jack's body into the water? Finally I untangled the rope and quickly pulled the lifejacket off over my head and flung it into the water, sighing with relief after the effort of it all. My body felt a lot more free now, my clothes hard with the ice, yet I felt a lot lighter. Everyone had fallen quiet and I smiled to myself, watching the lifejacket gently bob up and down in the water as it slowly floated away from me.

"I will be with you again, soon," I whispered, my teeth chattering painfully.

I glanced to his corpse, instantly regretting it, he was still in a sort of sitting position, as if he could nearly pass for being alive in this world, though his head was bowed, ice formed in his dark hair, frozen fingers clasped together and his eyes closed for good. I could barely see his face, yet I was grateful for that, I did not want to see him like that at all.

"Don't do anything stupid, Rachel!" I heard Harry shout to me, he sounded anxious.

I leaned forward and looked to my right to catch a glimpse of the junior wireless operator, I saw him, tired and pale, his blonde hair stuck out at awkward angles, ice sparkling in it.

"I can't feel my feet, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to give up!" he called, his voice sounded strained, "after all Jack did, you can't give up either, Rachel!"

I looked away from Harry and looked instead at the water, he was making a fair point, I had survived this far, I had lived when so many other people hadn't.

"He wanted you to live!" Harry shouted again.

"That's what he wanted," I thought to myself, "but what about what I want? My life has been ruined, is there anything left for me to live for now?"

I was getting very unsteady on my feet, shaking with fear and cold. In my mind I could see Jack's eyes, that deep blue, so beautiful and calming, but over them faded another pair of blue eyes, lighter this time, those happy eyes could only belong to my little brother, Ciaran. They alternated between each other in my mind, Jack and Ciaran, dark and light, death and life.

"Come with me!" the Jack said with a smile, as if he knew that that was what I would do for sure, as if I could never say no to him.

"Come back to me!" the Ciaran pleaded, the happy eyes had turned desperate looking.

I tried to push both of them out of my mind, they would not force me into a choice, but it was like I could see them, it made me wonder if the cold was making me delirious.

"My love, don't ignore me," the Jack said, his eyes glinting sadly with each syllable,

"My big sister, don't leave me!" the Ciaran whispered, tears in his eyes.

I put my hands over my eyes, as if to block them out, even though they were all in my head. I shut my eyes tight, squeezing out burning tears onto my cold cheeks as I forced two people who I cared about dearly from my mind. I sighed and opened my eyes again, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"They're not really there," I reminded myself in a low whisper, "I am just upsetting myself."

This was my final chance to make the choice between life and death; it could not be taken lightly. I was never one for giving up easily, but I knew that sometimes it is right to admit defeat if the battle is too hard, if the battle cannot be won, if there is no prize in the end.

"What is the point in the battle without victory?" I wondered, "For me the only prize I want is Jack Phillips, so why should I fight if I cannot have him?"

I sighed again, I was facing the water still, there were gentle waves swelling below, rocking the boat slightly, Lightoller was instructing people to lean from side to side, but I ignored him, I had other things to concern myself with.

"What do I chose with my last chance?" I whispered, my cold breath hurting my teeth.

The boat as rocking more strongly now, my stomach was turning from the water and my feelings of nervousness. I rubbed my face with my hand, feeling the leather of the glove, I shut my eyes and remembered Jack, would I choose to be with him or choose to live? Water was rising up the boat more and more as it sank down deeper in the water, the bubble of air underneath us getting crushed by the weight of all of us on Collapsible B. Unfortunately I wasn't given the chance to make my choice, as the boat rocked harder, sending a small wave over the boat, making the wood surface more slippery, making it harder for me to balance in my high heeled shoes, I put my arms out to try and keep my balance, but it was not enough. I let out a scream of terror, as one leg left the boat, leaning back, trying to keep my balance, but I could not, I was too tired, it was too much. It felt like it was in slow motion, like time had nearly paused for me, my limit was reached. I held my position for a second, and then I fell backwards, hitting my head off the side of the boat, pain shot through my skull as I fell into the freezing water.

**A/N: People who know me that review, please stop calling me 'Hannah', I am 'Hana' here, I think it makes me more mysterious... Being mysterious is cool, right? I think I have the flu at the minute, which isn't too good, but I will try to keep writing, as I love you all so much! Bye for now!**


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: I am sorry for being evil again Okaly, it was no problem to mention your review, as I appreciate it very much! Cw... you reviewed the 1****st**** chapter, you may never see this, but thanks anyway, of course I know the Britannic!. Upisdowngirl, I know what you mean, I always cry at Titanic, saw it at the cinema in April and I didn't want to cry in public like, but I did anyway, that 'Nearer my God to Thee' bit, sets me off every time!**

**Chapter 48**

**Rachel's POV**

It didn't feel as if I was in the water anymore, I was somewhere else. I couldn't tell if I was still in pain anymore, was it cold? I didn't know, as if I had lost all feeling in my body.

"Am I dead?" I wondered, "Is this what death feels like? Like nothing at all?"

I hadn't opened my eyes yet, I had not felt up to it, but I could tell that there was a bright light, as I could see the red on the inside of my eyelids.

"Are you alright?" a voice asked, it had to be a man, but my ears didn't seem to be working properly, so I could not attempt to recognise who it was.

I opened my eyes, but quickly had to shut them again as it was too bright. It was irritating as I was so curious as to see where I was now. Again I tried to open my eyes, this time it worked and I was staring into a blinding white light.

"Hello?" I whispered, as I could not see properly yet,

"Don't strain yourself," the voice replied, I could hear him more clearly, he sounded Welsh, if I were dead, I would have expected Jack or the lady is white to be talking to me.

"Welsh?" I whispered, confused by his voice.

"Yes," he replied, he sounded really tired,

"I had not expected someone Welsh..." I muttered,

"And why not?" he asked, sounding confused by me.

Then I understood why he was confused, at last I could see, I wasn't in Heaven, not by a long shot. I finally saw the man that I had been having the strange conversation with, he looked quite young and he was shining a torch in my face, which explained why I had been so blinded, he was leaning over me as I lay down. I tried to sit up, but he gently pushed me down again.

"You are safe now," he said sternly, then looking over his shoulder,

"Where am I?" I asked.

Immediately I felt stupid for asking, most of my senses had returned, I was wrapped in a woollen blanket and lying down, I glanced to the side, my neck hurting as I did so, I could see the wood at the side of a lifeboat; I was safe, as Jack had wanted. I was curled up in a little ball, as small as I could physically be. The boat must have been full of people, though I was too exhausted to look, my head had started hurting. I sighed, laying my head against the wooden floor of the boat, staring at the side. My body was warm feeling in the blanket, but I could tell that my clothes were still damp. Then I suddenly remembered something and sat up quickly, feeling dizzy, I looked frantically about, wondering if all the people from collapsible B had made it.

"Harry?" I called out weakly, as it had been too difficult to try and make anyone out in this dim light, plus everyone was wearing blankets, giving them all a similar silhouette.

"I'm here!" he replied weakly,

He was lying down and it seemed like someone was sitting on his feet, though he didn't seem to care much, he was only a few feet away from me, so we could talk quite easily, he struggled into a sitting position.

"Thank God you are okay!" I said, nearly screaming with relief, only my voice was too weak.

"I thought you were dead," he said back, then he glanced away from me, "when you fell I thought that I had lost both of my new friends."

I stared at him for a second, and then I remembered, I looked down. I was glad that I was already sitting down as I knew that otherwise I might have fallen over, again.

"Jack," I muttered to myself, "is gone."

I swallowed, realising that I may cry, I quickly wiped my eyes, but then I had to choke back a sob as I felt the gloves that Jack had given me.

"Shit," I swore, remembering what Jack had said about crying, about it being a sign of weakness.

I could see that the sun had started to rise, it was a very optimistic looking morning, the sky was dark and the stars in the sky were still visible. I sat up straight, pulling the blanket further up on me. The light of the new dawn was reflecting off the water, small pieces of ice floated around the boat, I could see that people were calling out and waving their arms, as if they were trying to get the attention of something. I looked ahead of us and realised what it was, it was a ship, I could see grey smoke emerging from the single funnel. It was, of course, nowhere near as big as the Titanic, but from down in the lifeboats, sitting on the surface of the ocean, it looked quite big.

"Over here!" I heard someone shout from one of the other boats.

People were lighting things on fire, like papers and hats I assumed, and waving them in the air to get the attention of the ship as it slowed down. I could see people rushing about on the deck, pointing to all of us in the boats in the water, the lucky survivors of such a horrible disaster. They were probably wondering if this was all of the survivors, wondering how such a huge ship could be gone.

"We are saved!" I heard a woman call out, relief obvious in her voice.

Indeed we were saved, the worst night imaginable had just ended and I could see the ship that would save all of us, the ship that Jack had called to rescue us, the RMS Carpathia.

**A/N: Short chapter, very sorry, but I'm a bit sick and not feeling up to writing at the minute.**


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Woo I got four reviews on the previous chapter, so thank you all very much! So thanks to HourglassMage (really cool name), you leave such nice reviews. Thanks to Upisdowngirl, I am glad you like my mentions **** because you deserve the mentions for being such a sweet reviewer. Thanks to Okaly, I am glad not to be evil, I was getting worried there. Thanks to TailsNdJosh6210, can't believe you managed to read it in two days, well done! I couldn't do that! You think a movie should be made of it, I swear you might make me cry, that is so kind of you! Amazeballs is a great word, keep reading! I went on a bit...**

**Chapter 49**

**Rachel's POV**

We were one of the last lifeboats to reach the 'Carpathia', a wobbly looking rope was hanging down the side of the ship, it was not that far to climb up to the hatches into the ship, but it still looked intimidating.

"You there!" The Welsh officer pointed to Harold Bride,

"Me?" Harry asked,

"Yes you," the officer replied, "you seem to be in pain, so you go first."

Harry nodded, slowly standing up in the boat; he flinched as he put his weight on his feet. He made his way over to the ladder looking very uneasy. Then the officer looked to me and beckoned at me to stand up, I pulled the blanket up around my shoulders more and stood up, worried about making the boat rock too much, my legs were stiff and it was difficult to edge around all the people who were still sitting or lying in the boat. Harry was already on the ladder.

"My feet," he moaned, "They hurt so much!"

"Keep going," I called up to him as I put my hands on the ladder.

We only had to climb up a few rungs of the ladder before people on the ship pulled us up into the hatch. I gasped at the warmth of the 'Carpathia', the people who were helping us must have been passengers of the ship, they looked both kind and concerned. A cup of soup was thrust into my hand.

"Drink this," a woman said forcefully to me, as if I could do anything else with it.

"We'll find you somewhere to rest," another woman told me, taking me by the arm.

I let her lead me to some small bedroom, sipping at the soup as we walked, the burning warmth delightful despite the lack of flavour. Once we were in the room, I was helped out of my frozen clothes, which were now dripping water as they thawed, I didn't even care anymore, usually I would have more shame, but I was beyond caring. She slipped a large nightdress over my head and helped me into the bed.

"You sleep now," she said, wagging a finger at me,

"Okay," I whispered, pulling the sheets up to my chin.

She smiled kindly and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. I sighed and closed my eyes, imagining that I was at home, in my bedroom, warm and safe. Back when I was seventeen, back when I had a guardian angel.

"Oh Jack," I whispered, wishing that it could be like before, like when he was my angel and he would sit beside me in my bed and we would talk for hours and hours, but that couldn't happen anymore, I wasn't even seventeen anymore, my life had faded away without me noticing at all. Then it dawned on me,

"I made it to the 'Carpathia'!" I hissed, opening my eyes again and sitting up quickly.

"Yes, you did, Rachel!" I heard a familiar female voice say, of course it could be no one but the lady is white,

"Then why am I still here?" I asked nervously,

"There's something you might want to see," she said.

She hadn't appeared, it was just her gleeful echoing around the room,

"What is it?" I asked, trying to sound like I had some sort of authority,

She laughed at me for my efforts, making me feel horribly ashamed,

"Go up to the deck, and head towards the back of the ship, then you will see," she giggled.

Nervousness struck me, but I knew that I had to go. I pushed the sheets off from over me and got up hastily, I made for the door. The corridor outside was full of people, I saw Harry being helped along by two men, his eyes looked tired and sad.

"I wouldn't let them leave him," he said after I walked over to him,

"Thank you, Harry," I said, touching his face and smiling at him.

I turned and walked away along the corridor, hoping I would find away to get out on the deck, up flights of stairs, through many doors and along white-walled halls. The deck was crowded, as people sat about not knowing what to do, but towards the back of the ship there seemed to be less people, so that is where I went. I walked as quickly as I could in my bare feet, clutching my arms to myself to fend against the cold. Then I knew that I was in the right place, as I saw four bundles wrapped in cloth lying on the deck, some men praying over them, Jack had to be one of the dead.

**Jack's POV**

After sitting down from exhaustion, barely able to say anymore words, it felt as though I was pulled from my body. The lady in white took me back to the place that was endlessly white. I just stood and looked at her, unsure of what to say, it was over for me, I was dead once again.

"I'll let you see one last thing," she said, with a devious smile.

She pulled my hand into hers and within the blinking of an eye we were somewhere else, a small room with a bed in it, I could see a form under the sheets, suddenly the person sat up, it was my sweet Rachel.

"Yes, you did, Rachel!" the lady said, I had no idea what she was talking about, Rachel was looking around the room to see if she could see where the voice was coming from, but it seemed that neither the lady nor I were visible. The lady told Rachel to go to the deck, again the lady grabbed my hand and we appeared on what must have been the deck of the 'Carpathia'.

"What are you making her see?" I asked the lady,

She replied with a laugh and she pointed towards four shapes laid out on the deck, mostly wrapped in sheets, though the faces were showing. My heart dropped, I didn't want Rachel to have to see this. Suddenly Rachel came running along the deck, I had to stand by and watch as I knew that she couldn't see me. She was wearing a saggy nightdress that floated about her; her bare feet were red with the cold. She clutched her hands together and drew a sharp breath when she saw the bodies.

"Our Father who art in Heaven..." someone prayed as Rachel dropped to her knees next to the first corpse, mine.

She pulled the cloth away from the face of my body which I was no longer in; she sighed and bowed her head, so that she was nearly touching the corpse.

"Sleep well, Jack," she sat up and touched the face of my body, "you know that I love you, but we just can't be together now."

"I love you too, Rachel," I said as I came and stood beside her, she couldn't hear me, but it was nice to be this close to her.

She let out a choking sob, letting her tears drip onto the face of the cold corpse. She put her hands over the hands, which were clasped together.

"Angel of God, my Guardian dear, to whom His love commits me here, ever this day, be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen." She muttered, and then she smiled to herself, "We learned that prayer in primary school, I never really knew that it would be relevant, I never really knew that I had a guardian angel, I never believed it."

I wanted to tell her something of comfort but I couldn't, it was like she was on the other side of a mirror, now I was nothing more than a shadow, my last moments with her were to be horrifically impersonal.

"I'd better leave you now, Jack," she said, "I don't want to see you like this, I won't remember you this way, I swear."

She kissed the corpse on the lips gently; I could see her flinching at the strangeness of it. Then she leaned back and looked for a minute sadly, my dead skin cracked with the cold. One of the men that had been praying tapped her on the shoulder; she looked up at him, her eyes red with the pain of crying.

"Are you finished, young lady?" he asked kindly,

"Yes," she said, looking away from him, "Nothing more to be done."

"We are finished here too, Jack," the lady smiled.

Then we were back in that white room, the lady staring at me,

"I always liked you," she said, tilting her head, "I've watched you die twice now."

I didn't say anything,

"I want to see you go to Heaven now, you have been wandering too long," she said with a sad smile,

The door with the golden handles behind her opened smoothly and out stepped a familiar young man,

"Where have you been, Jack?!" he asked with a laugh, "I've been waiting ages for you!"

"Harry!" I said, I couldn't help but smile, "you are still young?"

He looked about the same as he always had, except this time he was well dressed in an expensive looking suit.

"This is Heaven, old friend," he said, grinning, "you can be what you want to be, I came here over fifty years ago, and you weren't here! I was shocked, but better late than never, come on!"

He opened the door wider, I could see people behind the door, I couldn't make out any faces, but they sounded excited.

"They are waiting for you, Jack," Harry said, looking up at me as I stepped closer,

"I am sorry about everything that happened," the lady said suddenly, "I wanted to have some fun after so long, I'm sorry that I dragged you into it, Mr Phillips."

"It's too late now," I replied.

The lady stepped quickly over to me, staring up into my eyes, she looked very upset.

"I'll help you find her, when the time comes," she whispered, sounding very serious, "I shouldn't have done this to you, so I will promise you this."

"Thank you," I said, feeling honestly happy at this revelation.

"They are waiting, Jack!" Harry said impatiently, "all your friends and family! You shouldn't keep them waiting; they really want to see you!"

"Of course..." I started,

Then Harold Bride grabbed me by the arm and pulled me through the door that led out into forever.

**A/N: Is that it? Well...**


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Isn't it nice that Jack went to Heaven? It's gonna be so awkward when I die and get to Heaven and the real Jack Phillips will be all like, "Did you write a romantic story about me?" and I will be all like, "Yeah, I guess I did." I'd like to say hi to Mark C, who is attempting to finish my story, well done for getting this far. Sooo thank you to TailsNdJosh6210, such a sweet review! Thanks to Upisdowngirl and finally thanks to Number 1 fan, it has been a while! Poor you and your lack of internet! I am glad that I was able to write a story that you enjoyed, makes me so proud. **

"_**I have done all that is required of me," – Jack Phillips, quoted at his memorial service in 1912**_

**Chapter 50**

**Rachel's POV**

I cannot stop crying, it is mean to be the happiest day of my life, well, that is what my mother had told me. I kneel on the ground, knowing that I am getting my dress dirty.

"Young lady, are you alright?" a woman asks from behind me, I had not noticed her approach, all I had heard before was birds singing, the sound of water and myself sobbing.

"Very alright," I say as I turn to face her, wiping tears from my cheeks,

"So, who are you?" she asks with a kind smile, holding her hand out to help me up, but I don't get up.

"My name is Rachel Given," a lie,

"What a nice name," she coos,

"I am seventeen years old," another lie,

"This is a happy place," she tells me, "You should feel happy."

She turns and walks away, leaving me alone again. It is the twenty-fifth of April 2020 and I am in Godalming, Jack's hometown, there they have a beautiful memorial cloister, all for him, this is where I am now. In front of me is an inscription,

"This cloister is built in memory of John George Phillips a native of this town Chief Wireless Telegraphist of the ill-fated S.S Titanic. He died at his post when the vessel foundered in the mid Atlantic on the 15th day of April 1912."

I press my head against the stone under the brass inscription, remembering how I came to be here. I was on the 'Carpathia', the men wrapped Jack up in the sheet and they lifted his body up, I couldn't watch, I just couldn't, so I turned and ran, my cold, wet feet pounding on the wooden deck, pressing the ring against my face as I cried and ran, unable to see, I didn't want to see anything, I just wanted to get away. I crashed into someone and fell to the ground, scratching my knees and knocking the air out of myself.

"Sorry, love," a broad accented male said.

I couldn't get up though, I was too tired and dizzy, I shut my eyes to try and block out the swirling, it was as if the world was spinning faster and faster.

"No!" I called out,

It was hard to breathe; I struggled to fill my lungs. I tried to scream out again but my mouth was too dry.

"No," I whispered, before opening one eye, a dark place.

I was lying down, that much I could tell, so I opened the other eye. I felt confused as to where I was, then I heard a steady bleeping, this shocked me back into reality. I put my left hand to my face, no ring. I quickly sat up; it was painful as my body was so stiff.

"Hello?" I whispered, hoping that there would be a reply, hoping that there would be someone with me, but I was alone.

My eyes adjusted to the dim light, it was not completely dark. It was the same hospital room as before, the heart rate monitor lit up red and bleeped steadily, there was a tube sello-taped to my nose; I pulled it off, the same for the wires and tubes that led to my wrists. The steady beep of the heart rate monitor turned to a constant tone, ringing in my ears; I flinched at the sound and slowly climbed out of the bed, my limbs aching. I walked to the window, putting one bony hand on the glass, seeing myself dimly reflected.

"I am not used to being alone," I whispered.

I could see that I now had sharply protruding cheek bones, my hair longer and messier looking, my eyes shrunken and my skin pale in the dim light. Life in Belfast had gone on; I could see the lights of cars shooting past in the street below my window. I put one hand to the latch, it was unlocked, and so I opened it, feeling the cold wind rushing in, blowing back my long hair and hospital gown.

"What are you doing?!" Someone shrieked, the light was switched on,

It was too bright, so I narrowed my eyes and shielded them with one hand; I turned to face a shocked nurse standing in the doorway.

"Don't be at that!" she said, attempting to sound calming.

She walked quickly over to me and grasped my wrists, then she took me back to the bed, sticking various tubes and wires back to me.

"You need rest!" she said sternly,

"I have been resting!" I moaned, "I've been resting for…"

"I don't mean to shock you, I know you have been in a coma for a while," she said, "But it is the twenty-third of February 2020."

I gasped as she lifted up the chart at the end of my bed,

"They didn't switch off your life-support because you woke up a few years back," she said, "You are twenty-five years old."

I pulled the sheets up around me to hide my fear,

"No! I'm not that old!" I hissed, glaring at her, "Keep away from me, you liar!"

"Don't be so rude," she said, tucking me into the bed, a patronising smile on her face, "or I'll have to give you a sedative!"

So I lay down and she switched out the light. I tried not to cry, stuffing my fist into my mouth and biting down on it, and then tears started to pour from my eyes.

The first people to visit me in the morning were my family, mother, father, Ciaran and Mr Andrews. Mum and Dad looked nearly the same, just a bit older, I felt such relief on seeing them, they cried as they embraced me warmly. Ciaran was now a fully grown adult, which was very strange.

"I was asleep in Glasgow when Mum and Dad called me up," he said, "telling me that my big sister had woken up at long last, so I caught an early flight and here I am!"

"Glasgow?" I asked slowly,

"Yes!" he smiled, "I am in my final year of studying Naval Architecture!"

Thomas Andrews smiled proudly at him, then his face turned serious as he looked to me,

"I see Mr Phillips couldn't return," he said, knowing that my parents could not hear,

I shook my head in reply.

"We will be back later to pick you up," Dad said, "when the hospital says it is fine for you to leave."

"Thank you," I said.

They left me on my own again, but within ten minutes a young woman entered the room, her dark hair tied back and she was wearing a plain dress,

"Hello, Rachel," she said,

I stared at her for a moment, before realising that she was my school friend, Hayley. She came and sat on the bed.

"I'm Hayley," she said slowly, pointing to herself,

"Yes, I know," I replied, she looked shocked that I could even speak.

"All the people in our class gave you a card," she said, picking up a card from the table next to the bed, she opened it, on one side there was a photograph of everyone from my class at school and on the other side was everyone's signatures and messages like,

"Get well soon, love Kellie,"

I could barely remember most of the people, as if they had all been knocked from my memory by everything that had happened. Hayley set the card into my skinny fingers, she smiled sadly at me.

"We can catch up sometime," she said,

Then I saw the rings on her finger,

"You're married?" I asked quietly,

She nodded and laughed before walking to the door,

"Like I said," she giggled, "We'll catch up sometime!"

Throughout the day I was checked by doctors for various damages, brain scans, flashing lights in my eyes and poking me in nerves.

"You are under-weight," one doctor told me, "but you will make a full recovery,"

"Well, that is good," I said, not really caring that much.

By evening I was at home, the same house, the same room. I sat on the bed with my legs crossed,

"Jack?" I whispered hopefully, wishing that I had imagined all that had happened while I was in a coma. I wanted the comforting cold, the blue glow that I had come to adore.

Of course nothing happened, I sighed to myself and walked over to the mirror, my parents had brought some of my clothes up to the hospital for me to get changed into for going home, but they looked too big on my skinny body, I cringed at my pale face, so sickly looking. I put my hands over my eyes.

"I'll look better after I take a shower," I told myself.

In the shower I noticed that my stomach and lower back were covered with huge, raised, white scars, my arms weak and weedy, a clatter of ribs showed through pale and scarred skin. After the shower I plucked my eyebrows a bit and solidly cleaned my teeth. I dried my hair and put on some clothes that had been too tight on me when I was seventeen. I applied some old make-up when I was back in my room, the make-up was probably rotten as it hadn't been used in so long, then I looked in the mirror once more.

"Not as bad," I muttered on seeing myself again.

I went to the window, staring out at the Belfast skyline, seeing tall buildings I had never seen before. I heard someone come into the room behind me; I turned and saw that it was Ciaran, followed by Mr Andrews. I could still not adjust to my little brother's new, grown-up appearance.

"I went in the 'Titanic 2' a few years ago," he said, leaning on the windowsill next to me, as we looked out on the city,

"It was quite accurate to my ship," Thomas chipped in,

"When I was in the coma," I said, "Jack and I were on the Titanic, it was lovely, but then..."

"Thomas tried to explain to me," Ciaran replied, "he said some angel lady put you and Jack on the 'Titanic' to see what would happen... it must have been horrible."

"Oh it was," I whispered, "it was all so real..."

Then the doorbell rang,

"I'll get it!" Ciaran called; there was a Scottish hint to his Belfast accent.

He ran down the stairs, Thomas stayed with me for a moment,

"I hope you are alright, Miss Rachel," he sighed, "it is difficult to be apart from the person that you love."

"It's for you, Rachel!" Ciaran called up the stairs.

I looked at Mr Andrews, wondering who could possibly be calling for me. Mr Andrews nodded at me, to tell me to go downstairs, so I did. I could not see who was in the doorway, as it was dark outside now. Ciaran stepped away from the door, walking to the kitchen with Thomas who had followed me down the stairs, so I was alone with whoever was at the door.

"Hello?" I called out,

He stepped out into the light, it was a young man, not particularly handsome, but not unattractive, his dark eyes reflected the light from inside my house; he pushed his fringe behind one ear.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he said with a smile,

"I would," I replied, "if I had any idea who you are!"

He looked deeply insulted, that look could only belong to one person.

"Oh shit," I said, putting a hand to my mouth and stepping back to let him in, "I'm sorry, Chris."

"It's okay," he said as he walked up the front steps to my house.

I closed the door behind him; he was looking down at me, smiling kindly.

"Let's go to the living room, shall we?" I said, pointing the way.

He took my hand in his, I didn't complain as I liked the comfort. We sat down together on the sofa in my living room; I switched on a small lamp, so the room was warmly lit.

"I've missed you," he said, letting go of my hand,

"It's been hard for me too," I said quietly,

"Girls like you are rare," he said, looking into my eyes, "I know because I have looked."

I blushed and looked downwards; he put a finger under my chin, tilting my head up again.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you before," he whispered, "I was stupid, I understand now."

"You understand?" I asked,

"I have a guardian angel too," he smiled, "her name is Hilary Dennehy, say it,"

I repeated her name, then she faded in and I could see her, she was beautiful and strangely ageless looking, dressed in a dark nuns' robe.

"Christopher is very affectionate towards you," she said kindly, "we would go and visit you every day,"

"I appreciate it," I said, smiling at them, grateful for how much they had cared about me,

"That's not all," Chris said, he looked so much more mature than last time I saw him,

"Oh no," I thought to myself as Chris got down on one knee, I wanted to tell him that I couldn't possibly, that I already had someone, but that would be a lie, previously I had had someone, I was engaged in another life.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, the ring in the box was a lot more expensive looking than the one Jack gave me, but nowhere near as beautiful, or as romantic.

I glanced away from him; this wasn't what I wanted at all,

"Come on, Rachel," he whispered, "I already asked your parents and they agree, I am good for you now."

"Now?" I asked,

"I wasn't good for you when we were younger, we weren't right for each other," he said, "but things have changed, we have changed; now we need each other."

"I need you?" I whispered,

"Yes," he smiled, taking my left hand in his and slipping the ring onto it.

"Okay then," I said, knowing that no one else would want a girl who had been in a coma for years, I felt as though I was a girl without any kind of future.

So I had agreed to marry Chris, which is what led me to where I am right now, I promised him I would marry him if the ceremony could be in Godalming, he said yes to my suggestion. So two months after I said I would marry him I was standing in a church in Jack Phillips' hometown, a plaque on the wall of the churching saying that he attended that very church.

"Rachel Given, do you take Christopher Gallagher to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

The only people that attended were close family and friends from both sides, so there were not a lot of people there. I stood with a pen in my hand after signing my name on the register, that was it married, I had kissed him, I had agreed, that was it.

"If only I had been born one hundred years earlier," I thought to myself, "I could have married Jack."

Chris went to take my hand,

"Come on, wife," he whispered with a smile,

Then it all dawned on me, I should have been with Jack, not with Chris, I had made a big mistake, so I ran out of the church, Chris called after me, Ciaran looked shocked. As soon as I got out the door I ripped the veil from my head and flung it away, running and running, unsure of where to go, but then I was drawn to a place with high walls, like it was calling out to me, The Phillips Memorial Cloister.

I cry and cry, wishing that I could change what had happened, wishing that things didn't have to be this way. A hand is on my shoulder, I see Chris looking down at me as I kneel at Jack's memorial.

"I swear we will be happy together," he says, I feel slightly spiteful towards him, he has an angel, he is protected by her, I have lost mine.

He helps me to my feet, wiping tears off my cheeks,

"I love you, Chris, but..." I say,

"You need to learn to forget," he tells me, "I will be like your angel now,"

But I know that I told Jack that I would think about him every single day for the rest of my life, and I do not plan to break that promise, no matter what Chris tells me. Chris kisses me on the lips, a passionless kiss.

"You are mine now," he whispers,

I force a smile, I may be married to him, but in my heart I am forever on the 'Titanic' with Jack Phillips and I know that when my time comes, I will find him.

The End

**A/N: The final word**

**Firstly, thank you for reading! This story has been a BIG part of my life for the past few months, I didn't ever imagine getting this far when I started this in a little notebook while lying on my bedroom floor when I should have been studying for exams in June, but here we are, the end. Promise me you will all look out for Jack Phillips' one line in Titanic 1997!**

**So, a few dedications, I will keep this short.**

**Jack Phillips - Well obviously without you this story never would have happened, I find you very inspiring, a true hero, I hope I did you proud.**

**Louise – True best friend, I hinted that I had written a story and you found it and read it! You always had something nice to say about it, which was always very motivating! I love you!**

**Joe – little brother, the first person I know to read this story, you are the person most knowledgeable about Titanic that I know! You defeat even me, you are a lovely little bro, always up for a chat, a movie or whatever, keep up the good work!**

**All my reviewers – every time I see that I have a new review my heart leaps! You have all made me very happy; I hope you all enjoyed reading my story, as I have really enjoyed your reviews.**

**Everyone that was on the Titanic – each person has a story to tell, a dramatic, tragic story, many of them we will never know, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't care.**

**Lastly, Sammy – you will never read this, I know, former friend, former love, apparently I was the first person to call you a best friend, so you repaid my efforts with dumping me on my birthday, I thank you for your unintentional inspiration, you accidently invented the title, "I don't give second chances, hint hint." On 14****th**** April 2012 (last time I saw you) the only thing that struck ice was your apparent "love" for me.**

**That is all from me for now, hopefully I will think of a new idea sooner or later.**


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